Thank you. I share your feelings to some extent. I have actually thought that I could sit down and start making a list of all my mistakes and not overlook a single one.
Why are we so hard on ourselves? Is it pride? Do we see our mistakes as a betrayal of our imperfect nature? As Paul said "When I wish to do what is right, what is bad is present with me. I really delight in the law of God according to the man I am within, but I see in my body another law warring against the law of my mind and leading me captive to sin's law that is in my body (especially the heart). Miserable man that I am! So, then, with my mind I myself am a slave to God's law, but with my flesh to sin's law."
How does Jehovah see us? I have given that question a lot of thought as well.
When a dog has a litter of puppies, there's probably a runt. One inferior in some way. But doesn't our heart go out to that one especially? Poor baby! When people come to select a puppy, sometimes it will be the runt that's picked. Why? Because we know it has a disadvantage and we have sympathy for it. We wish all the puppies a healthy and happy life, but we make it our business to make sure that runt is cared for.
Isn't that how Jehovah sees us? We are born with a horrible burden to bare, imperfection and under sin's law. But Jehovah makes it his business to make sure we are cared for. The ransom is a good reminder. Why would Jehovah allow his precious Son to go through that, and Himself to go through that, if he didn't love us very much?
The ransom should convince us that God sees us, knows us, understands our inherent weaknesses and treacherous hearts, and makes it his business to help us overcome those disadvantages.
Thanks Tim