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The Bad Joke thread


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  • 1 month later...

Q: How did the tree and the fungus get together?

A: They took a lichen to one another.

 

Q: What do you call a fungus that writes music?

A:  A decomposer.

groan2.gif

Now, those are BAAAAAAD. YES Grinning.gif

Macaw.gif.7e20ee7c5468da0c38cc5ef24b9d0f6d.gifRoss

Nobody has to DRIVE me crazy.5a5e0e53285e2_Nogrinning.gif.d89ec5b2e7a22c9f5ca954867b135e7b.gif  I'm close enough to WALK. 5a5e0e77dc7a9_YESGrinning.gif.e5056e95328247b6b6b3ba90ddccae77.gif

 

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  • 1 month later...
  • 1 month later...

If someone is about to sneeze then quickly say "They will take firm hold of the robe of ..."

The conclusion of the matter, everything having been heard, is: Fear the true God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole obligation of man. Ec 12:13

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  • 3 weeks later...

On the last day of kindergarten all the students brought presents for their teacher. The Gardener's Son handed his teacher a present. She took it, held it up, and said, 
"I bet I know what this is. I bet its some flowers!" 
"Thats Right!" Said the little boy. 
Then the chocolatier's daughter came up and handed her teacher a gift. The teacher once again took the present, held it up, and said, 
"I bet I know what it is. I bet its a box of chocolates." 
"Oh, Thats Right" Shouted the little girl. 
The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son. The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking. she touched a drop with her finger and she tasted it. 
"Is it Wine?" She asked 
"No...." The little boy answered. 
The teacher touched another big drop to her finger and tasted it some more. 
"Is it Champagne?" she asked. 
"No...." answered the little boy. 
"What is it?" Said the teacher. 
"It's a puppy!...." 

CAUTION: The comments above may contain personal opinion, speculation, inaccurate information, sarcasm, wit, satire or humor, let the reader use discernment...:D

 

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'Congrats, how big is your new house?' - Myew
'It's got 4 bedrooms.' - Friend
'Sounds like you're expecting some DLC. :detective:'  - Myew
'No, I spent $600 when we got married to prevent any unexpected DLC.' - Friend
'Good deal, wait for the Game of 1000 Years edition. :lol1:'  - Myew

...this would be a whole lot funnier if I didn't have to explain https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Downloadable_content *facepaw*

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were camping. In the middle of the night Sherlock Holmes woke up and looked at the night sky above him.
He called to Dr. Watson to wake up. When he did, Holmes told him to look up and tell me what you see.
Watson said  "I see the moon and stars."
Holmes said  "and what do they tell you?"
Watson said  "They show evidence of a grand creator"
Holmes asked  "what else?"
Watson said  "They show the limitlessness of the Universe, the unaccountable number of stars and Planets show the insignificance of mankind and the galaxies cry out and glorify the creator."
Watson added  "What do they tell you Holmes?"

Holmes said  "They tell me someone has stolen our tent."
 


Edited by Musky
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2 hours ago, Musky said:


Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were camping. In the middle of the night Sherlock Holmes woke up and looked at the night sky above him.
He called to Dr. Watson to wake up. When he did, Holmes told him to look up and tell me what you see.
Watson said  "I see the moon and stars."
Holmes said  "and what do they tell you?"
Watson said  "They show evidence of a grand creator"
Holmes asked  "what else?"
Watson said  "They show the limitlessness of the Universe, the unaccountable number of stars and Planets show the insignificance of mankind and the galaxies cry out and glorify the creator."
Watson added  "What do they tell you Holmes?"

Holmes said  "They tell me someone has stolen our tent."
 

 

58ab65eeec344_LaughingSlapping.gif.75013d53b88ab7770c4f88be7b976cdb.gif

Wrong thread.   Should be in the GOOD joke thread.58ab66364a6f1_YESGrinning.gif.a07b2d6ad4c3f62d17b5d12d2766b755.gif

Macaw.gif.7e20ee7c5468da0c38cc5ef24b9d0f6d.gifRoss

Nobody has to DRIVE me crazy.5a5e0e53285e2_Nogrinning.gif.d89ec5b2e7a22c9f5ca954867b135e7b.gif  I'm close enough to WALK. 5a5e0e77dc7a9_YESGrinning.gif.e5056e95328247b6b6b3ba90ddccae77.gif

 

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Just now, pnutts said:

I know I have seen it before. Maybe a year or 2 ago. Might have been someplace else. Sometimers  :wheelchair: at work

What are the odds that at least one person has seen a joke before? Going through the  two joke threads I came across many that I've seen before but chose not to point it out. :)

 

I usually do a search for a joke before I post one, so I was just wondering if I didn't use the correct key words in my search. No biggie!

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12 minutes ago, Musky said:

What are the odds that at least one person has seen a joke before? Going through the  two joke threads I came across many that I've seen before but chose not to point it out. :)

I bet they were mine...

Hey, if it was funny once, it might be funny twice...:D

CAUTION: The comments above may contain personal opinion, speculation, inaccurate information, sarcasm, wit, satire or humor, let the reader use discernment...:D

 

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On 9/4/2016 at 10:29 PM, Tcvancoops said:

A Hispanic magician was performing a trick.  He said, "Watch as a make myself disappear on the count of Three!  

Uno!...

Dos!..."

 

And then he disappeared without a tres.

I don't care what anyone says, that's funny. Lol

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Show me a piano falling down a mine-shaft

and I'll show you A-flat minor.

 

He often broke into song 

because he couldn't find the key.

 

When you've seen one shopping center

you've seen a mall.

 

58b1e153230ef_LaughChuckle.gif.fc358e3b8b1923fd35a1eae16b395650.gif

 

Sorry if any of these are repeats.

They're just as bad

the second time around.

Maybe even badder.58b1e1a1552ed_YESGrinning.gif.71266cbbe7ab7435c218aa5ea390e2df.gif

Macaw.gif.7e20ee7c5468da0c38cc5ef24b9d0f6d.gifRoss

Nobody has to DRIVE me crazy.5a5e0e53285e2_Nogrinning.gif.d89ec5b2e7a22c9f5ca954867b135e7b.gif  I'm close enough to WALK. 5a5e0e77dc7a9_YESGrinning.gif.e5056e95328247b6b6b3ba90ddccae77.gif

 

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