Cat Diary

[pnutts]

Subject: Cat Diary(REALLY CUTE)  ( was sent to me in late 90's )

 

DAY 752

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. 

 

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.

 

The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild

satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.

Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

 

DAY 761

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while

they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the

stairs. 

 

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I

once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try

this on their bed.

 

DAY 762

Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving,

incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.

 

DAY 765

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to

make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into

their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little

cat I was...Hmmm.  Not working according to plan.

 

DAY 768

I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was

chosen for the water torture. 

This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." 

What sick minds  could invent such a liquid.

My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my

teeth.

 

DAY 771

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in

solitary  throughout the event. 

However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor

of the glass tubes they call "beer."

More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of

"allergies." 

Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

 

DAY 774

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. 

The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. 

He is obviously,  a half-wit. 

The Bird on the other hand has got to be an informant 

He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to

mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. 

I am certain he reports my every move. 

Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety

is assured. 

But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.

Edited August 1, 2013 by pnutts