with apologies to the Aussies....

[bohemian]

What is the difference between Australia and a glass of milk?

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you leave a glass of milk in the sun for 200 years you expect it to have developed some sort of culture.

Edited October 29, 2013 by bohemian

[surfergirl]

To my fellow cousin accross the sea.

 

When I saw milk I thought

 

 

 

But many thanks for sending us down under.lols 

 

Guess we don't have to complain about the weatherLols

 

 

 

I do love a good High Tea with proper dainty China Lols  

[Lilac Isosceles]

No need for an apology. I do like a bit of good-humoured banter.

 

Why do they bury English folk 30 feet under the ground?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Because deep down they are nice people. 

Edited October 29, 2013 by Purple Triangle

[surfergirl]

Good comback Ashley..

I thought it was cause they maybe stinky & don't take baths for 7 days.. LOLS

[Lilac Isosceles]

The differences between Americans, Australians, Canadians and Brits.

 

Aussies: Believe you should look out for your mates.
Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who belong to your club.
Americans: Believe that people should look out for and take care of themselves.
Canadians: Believe that that is the government's job.

 

Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad.
Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad.
Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.
Brits: Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.

Canadians: Endure bitterly cold winters and are proud of it.
Brits: Endure oppressively wet and dreary winters and are proud of it.
Americans: Don't have to do either, and couldn't care less.
Aussies: Don't understand what inclement weather means.

 

Americans: Seem to think that poverty and failure are morally suspect.
Canadians: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect.
Brits: Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success, and failure are inherited.
Aussies: Seem to think that none of this matters after several beers.

Brits: Have produced many great comedians, celebrated by Canadians, ignored by Americans, and therefore not rich.
Aussies: Have produced comedians like Paul Hogan and Yahoo Serious.
Canadians: Have produced many great comedians such as John Candy, Martin Short, Jim Carrey, Dan Akroyd, and all the rest at SCTV.
Americans: Think that these people are American!

Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.
Canadians: Don't, but only because they can't get more American channels.
Brits: Pay a tax just so they can watch 4 channels.
Aussies: Export all their crappy programs, which no one there watches, to Britain, where everybody loves them.

Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball and basketball.
Brits: Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer and rugby.
Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey, and how they beat the Americans twice, playing baseball.
Aussies: Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms in every sport they played them in.

Aussies: Are extremely patriotic about their beer.
Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to the point of blindness.
Canadians: Can't agree on the words to their anthem, in either language, when they can be bothered to sing them.
Brits: Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform the anthem.

Brits: Are justifiably proud of the accomplishments of their past citizens.
Americans: Are justifiably proud of the accomplishments of their present citizens.
Canadians: Prattle on about how some of those great Americans were once Canadian.
Aussies: Waffle on about how some of their past citizens were once Outlaw Pommies, but none of that matters after several beers.

[surfergirl]

Outrageous Ashely....

[Lilac Isosceles]

This is just to prove we Aussies can laugh at ourselves.

 

An Englishman wants to marry an Irish girl and is told he needs to become Irish before he can do so. It is a very simple operation where they remove 5% of your brain.
Anyway the Englishman wakes up after the operation and the doctor comes up to him looking all worried and say "I am terribly sorry, there's been a mistake to be sure, we accidentally removed 50% of your brain instead of 5%!"
 

The Englishman sits up and simply says "She'll be right, mate"    

Edited October 29, 2013 by Purple Triangle

[pnutts]

<Canadians: Prattle on about how some of those great Americans were once Canadian.>

Oh how true, ehh.

But it is also true that many *great Americans* were once Canadian. Even the telephone inventor

A.G.Bell, who actually was a Scot living in Nova Scotia most of the time,- 1st long distance call was from downtown Paris, ON, Canada ( my hometown )

to his father's place in Brantford, ON ( Bell Homestead ).  Was not taught, it was the father's homestead, in school.

 

<Canadians: Are rather indignant   about being mistaken for Americans when abroad.> You bet your booties We don't have as many guns

[rocket]

I was wondering, is Australia still a penal colony?

[surfergirl]

Not since Captain James Cook days. LOLS

 

Is  America still refered to the land of the free,, Is Wyatt Urp still a Myth LOLS..

[ReadYourBible]

 

Canadian Hockey Temperature Conversion Table

50° Fahrenheit (10° C)

• New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.
• Canadians plant gardens.

40° Fahrenheit (4.4° C)

• Californians shiver uncontrollably.
• Canadians Sunbathe.

35° Fahrenheit (1.6° C)

• Italian Cars won't start
• Canadians drive with the windows down

32° Fahrenheit (0 ° C)

• Distilled water freezes
• Canadian water gets thicker.

0° Fahrenheit (-17.9° C)

• New York City landlords finally turn on the heat.
• Canadians have the last cookout of the season.

-40° Fahrenheit (-40° C)

• Hollywood disintegrates.
• Canadians rent some videos.

-60° Fahrenheit (-51° C)

• Mt. St. Helens freezes.
• Canadian Girl Guides sell cookies door-to-door.

-100° Fahrenheit (-73° C)

• Canadians pull down their ear flaps.

-173° Fahrenheit (-114° C)

• Ethyl alcohol Freezes.
• Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.

-460° Fahrenheit (-273° C)

• Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops.
• Canadians start saying "cold, eh?"

-500° Fahrenheit (-295° C)

• Hell freezes over.
• The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup.  

[pnutts]

Sorry but don't believe everything someone from Edmonton says about Canadians ehh.She would have you believe that Vulcan is hot as 'Bones said in a trek show " -Now I know where the term "Hot as Vulcan comes from"'. Vulcan is in Sasketwan and it is not hot there.

I live in the Banana belt in Ontariarario. We don't get that cold here. Did get a tad cool when I lived in cottage country about -58 F out in the boonies but if there was enough snow cover you could till your garden if you were quick enough once you removed the snow. ;-) ehh

1 more thing Toronto has won the Stanley Cup before - but I don't rember when. Will they win again? When Hell which doesn't exist freezes over.

Edited October 31, 2013 by pnutts

[Lilac Isosceles]

 If it takes an IQ of 60 to tie shoelaces, why do so many Australians wear thongs?

 

To save any confusion in translation find a picture below of a pair of thongs.

 

[surfergirl]

Here's one thing Aussies like to do when they have been to Emerald Beach.

By the way Ashley nice pair. LOLS

 

http://claudiaowen.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/thong-tree-1.jpg?w=490

Edited October 31, 2013 by surfergirl

[ReadYourBible]

*sighs*  Dreaming of thongs, as I lace up my SNOW BOOTS.

[pnutts]

*sighs*  Dreaming of thongs, as I lace up my SNOW BOOTS.

I was thinkin' of gettin' my rain gear out - it is mild and wet . This storm goes from Mexico up to James Bay. Maybe my ark would be a better bet.

[GrumpysWife]

 If it takes an IQ of 60 to tie shoelaces, why do so many Australians wear thongs?

 

To save any confusion in translation find a picture below of a pair of thongs.

 

thongs.jpg'

I'm sure glad you cleared that up, here thongs are also underware.

[surfergirl]

I'm sure glad you cleared that up, here thongs are also underware.[/qu

Don't worry Vernalee. We call them G-strings

..English language aye!!!!! g

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