Odds and Ends

[Friends just call me Ross]

Clearing out old files on my PC to make room on the hard drive.

This is a place to post some of the interesting stuff I've collected over the years.

 

George Phillips of Meridian Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and he said no. Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available. George said "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again. "Hello. I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've just shot them all." Then he hung up. Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips residence. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed. One of the policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!" George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

[Friends just call me Ross]

Two friends were walking through the desert. In a specific point of the journey, they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one in the face. The one who got slapped was hurt, but...without saying anything, wrote in the sand: 

TODAY MY FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.

They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who got slapped and hurt started drowning, and the other friend saved him. When he recovered from the fright, he wrote on a stone:
TODAY MY FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE.

The friend who saved and slapped his friend, asked him "Why, after I hurt you, did you write in the sand, and now you write on a stone?"

The other friend, smiling, replied, "When a friend hurts us, we should write it down in the sand, where the winds of forgiveness get in charge of erasing it away, and when something great happens, we should  engrave it in the stone of the memory of the heart, where no wind can erase it."

Learn when to write in the sand;
And when to write on stone.

[➕👇 ꓤꓱꓷꓠꓵ🎵Tone]

Just a reminder, text files and documents take up very little space on a hard drive.

(The old rule of thumb was 1,000 characters per page =1k bytes. Therefore, 1,000 FULL pages equates to about 1MB. One average picture these days would be 5-10MBytes, or approx 7,500 pages of text.)

Pictures, videos and uncompressed music - these are the ones you want to remove.

Of course, anecdotal stories like the ones above can add a lot of clutter. You can always archive them to a cheap flash drive or the like. (Hide them with your secret stash of literature, for many hours of entertaining reading. )

 

Just Older

 

 

 

 

[Friends just call me Ross]

 Hebrew Explained?

Aoccdrnig to rscheearchres at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht

oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist

and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you

can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not

raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig , huh????

[➕👇 ꓤꓱꓷꓠꓵ🎵Tone]

 Hebrew Explained?
Aoccdrnig to rscheearchres at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht
oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist
and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you
can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not
raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig , huh????

Trouble for me is, this is how I write!

Just Older

[Friends just call me Ross]

Most of an iceberg is underwater and usually out of sight...

unless someone has an underwater camera and the H2O happens to be calm and crystal clear. 

 

[dove]

24 minutes ago, Friends just call me Ross said:

Most of an iceberg is underwater and usually out of sight...

unless someone has an underwater camera and the H2O happens to be calm and crystal clear. 

 

Scary..😲

[Tortuga]

28 minutes ago, Friends just call me Ross said:

Most of an iceberg is underwater and usually out of sight...

unless someone has an underwater camera and the H2O happens to be calm and crystal clear. 

 

That's the biggest Alaska Ice Tea I've ever seen. 

https://makemeacocktail.com/cocktail/708/alaska-ice-tea/

[Friends just call me Ross]

9 minutes ago, Tortuga said:

That's the biggest Alaska Ice Tea I've ever seen. 

https://makemeacocktail.com/cocktail/708/alaska-ice-tea/

I was willing to bet big bucks that our resident punster would say, " Yup.  What we see is just the tip of the iceberg." 

🤓

[pnutts]

28 minutes ago, Friends just call me Ross said:

I was willing to bet big bucks that our resident punster would say, " Yup.  What we see is just the tip of the iceberg." 

2nd ( or 3rd, whatever ) punster says 

 

"What a Titanic chunk of ice. "   Now where did I put that Big Tumbler for Ginger Ale & Vodka ( or Canadian Club Whiskey, etc? )

Can't have the ice alone - makes one tipsy.

Edited May 3, 2019 by pnutts
added

[pnutts]

Belongs in 2 different spots -so I put it in a 3rd.

[Tortuga]

14 hours ago, Friends just call me Ross said:

I was willing to bet big bucks that our resident punster would say, " Yup.  What we see is just the tip of the iceberg." 

🤓

Pay up!

You owe me big bucks and it's just the tip of the iceber....er....

 

Nevermind...

[pnutts]

Gives a new meaning to goat head.

 

What is the fat rodent? ( Give you a hint. Got loose from T.O. Zoo last year and had a jolly time of it dodging the trappers )

[pnutts]

No one guessed the fat creature up above.  Bye the way - sometimers struck again - it was 2 years ago.

Toronto's infamous capybara couple, who gained fame when they broke free from the High Park Zoo last spring, are expanding their family. Mayor John Tory announced that the capybaras, nicknamed Bonnie and Clyde after they spent weeks on the lam from authorities, have had three "capybabies."

[Good-O]

From Farmers Almanac: 

WHO INVENTED TOILET PAPER AND WHEN?

The first commercially packaged bathroom tissue was produced in the United States in 1857 by Joseph Gayetty. It didn't catch on, probably because it was sold in single sheets and people seemed quite happy to continue using their old catalogs and newspapers for this purpose. Another inventor in England created the first rolled toilet paper, but the English were such prudes that the product failed due to lack of advertising. Finally, Edward and Clarence Scott figured out the marketing and the roll concept, and in the 1880s ScotTissue was born.

[pnutts]

This guy said he only wanted a smooch. I Swear He Had Eight Arms

[pnutts]

The House that Jack Built -err designed, whatever. 🙃

[pnutts]

Slide down here & come out the Otter side

[pnutts]

Wild Ride.

[pnutts]

This place was left hangin', or was it right hangin'

[Tortuga]

I thought this thread was about a proctologist at a mental institution...

[➕👇 ꓤꓱꓷꓠꓵ🎵Tone]

I thought this thread was about a proctologist at a mental institution...

But.... which is which... ?

Just Older

[pnutts]

13 hours ago, Tortuga said:

proctologist at a mental institution.

He just w-recked-um

[pnutts]

Reminds me of the Bounty paper towel ad.

[pnutts]

Matthew 9:30 

Nobody is what I named my old decrepit laptop which I just put on win 10  1903 ( got early public release of May 2019 win 10 )