chuck Norris funny

[Eve]

I saw this n it left me cracked up!!!!

Chuck Norris doesn't drink

honey,he chews bees!

After eating garlic Chuck Norris

doesn’t smell like garlic but

garlic smells like Chuck Norris.

The only reason you’re

conscious right now is because

Chuck Norris doesn’t want to

carry you.

Chuck Norris can look at your

photo and know you are lying.

Nobody knows what would

happen if Makmende and

Chuck Norris met, but one thing is

for sure: Chuck Norris would still

be standing.

Always look before you leap.

Unless Chuck Norris is chasing

you. Then you had better just

jump.

Chuck Norris refused a syringe at

a blood bank. Instead, he asked

for a gun and a bucket.

Chuck Norris found Bin Laden. Let

him go, and found him again for

his own amusement.

Chuck Norris doesn’t drink honey.

He chews bees.

Chuck Norris doesn’t have

nightmares. Nightmares have

Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris and Superman once

had a fight. They bet that

whoever lost would wear his

underwear outside his pants.

If Chuck Norris was Spartan in the

movie 300, the movie would be

called 1.

Chuck Norris doesn’t need a

translator. Pain sounds the

same in every language...

[Musky]

There are thousands of these and several are actually funny even! LOL

One of my favs:

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you.

If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be seconds away from death!

[Alphaeus]

Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about.

[Musky]

Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about.

That's great! I never heard that one! Kind of dates us, doesn't it Gary? LOL

Chuck Norris does not do push-ups, he pushes the earth down.

[Alphaeus]

Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about.

That's great! I never heard that one! Kind of dates us, doesn't it Gary? LOL

Ahhh, memories... For those who don't know, it's a reference to the TV show "Diff'rent Strokes" which was on for the most part in the 80s (first episode in '78).

I really like the Bin Laden and push-up ones. New ones:

When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water and make it drink.

[Musky]

LOL Gary!

Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas!

When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris

Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic

[Eve]

Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about.

That's great! I never heard that one! Kind of dates us, doesn't it Gary? LOL

Ahhh, memories... For those who don't know, it's a reference to the TV show "Diff'rent Strokes" which was on for the most part in the 80s (first episode in '78).

I really like the Bin Laden and push-up ones. New ones:

When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water and make it drink.

gary I loved different strokes ,a local station aired it like a year or so back.I liked it

[Alphaeus]

gary I loved different strokes ,a local station aired it like a year or so back.I liked it

Hmmm... I haven't seen an episode since probably 1986!

Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is. (Anyone remember that game? )

[nanceebgd46]

Very funny..Chuck Norris..."satirical factoids".....I am sitting at my computer.....cracking up....and I don't just laugh at anything!!

Gary Coleman....video of Different Strokes seems like it was 50 years ago....that's how much the world and T.V. has changed.

[pinkpopcorn]

Chuck Norris jokes are great for my liver! Any more? Keep um coming! I LOVE THEM!

[palmhat]

When Chuck Norris tells YOU "good night" fainting is an option,

passing out is not