Joke thread/ funny story

[purplefan]

As i need a bit of cheering up ( it was turn to buy coffee for field service today)

I thought it might be a good idea to post a joke/funny story thread. It can be anything as long as it

is funny and clean.

A man goes to his doctors for a check-up, and tells the doctor he is unwell.

The doctor has a look at him, and tells him to “Go over to the window and stick his tong out”

The man was a bit taken aback by this, and asked the doctor.

“Will the natural light help you see better doctor”?

The doctor said “NO, I just don’t like the greengrocer across the road”

[GrumpysWife]

My niece wants one of these.

[campanula]

This is for Vernalee

This is for everyone here

This is for Vernalee and Ron

This is for me

This is for Nikos and his wife

[GrumpysWife]

Thanks Svetlana, That's nice.

[purplefan]

How many elders dose it take to change a light bulb?

None. They get the ministerial servant to do it.

[purplefan]

Two cows are having a chat by a fence and Doris the cow is saying to Gertrude.

"Gertrude, im really worried about this mad cows disease, I heard there is a case over

on old man Johnston's farm in the next field".

Gertrude Replies. "Im not worried, Dont affect us ducks".

[bohemian]

Two hippopotamuses are wallowing in the mud, and one says to the other:

"I keep thinking it's Tuesday!"

[retroHelen]

Here's the old veteran comedian Ken Dodd on Parkinson's Chat-show many years ago. He had a big store of funny jokes like Ron's at the start of the thread:

[LizzyJo]

Two hippopotamuses are wallowing in the mud, and one says to the other:

"I keep thinking it's Tuesday!"

Huh?

[Musky]

Two hippopotamuses are wallowing in the mud, and one says to the other:

"I keep thinking it's Tuesday!"

Huh?

As in, "What would two Hippopotamuses care what day it was"

[Musky]

[Mrs. Musky]

[Mrs. Musky]

[Mrs. Musky]

[LizzyJo]

As in, "What would two Hippopotamuses care what day it was"

Huh?

[Musky]

As in, "What would two Hippopotamuses care what day it was"

Huh?

Someone else want to try and explain it to her?

[Rajan]

Do Not try to please everyone.

What women want. What men want.....

[Mrs. Musky]

[Mrs. Musky]

[rocket]

As in, "What would two Hippopotamuses care what day it was"

Huh?

Two Hippo's on a two's day (tuesday)

[bohemian]

Two hippopotamuses are wallowing in the mud, and one says to the other:

"I keep thinking it's Tuesday!"

Huh?

As in, "What would two Hippopotamuses care what day it was"

Spot on. Why would one day be any different to another to a hippo?

[LizzyJo]

Oh.

[Mrs. Musky]

[GrumpysWife]

I'm thinking of getting this for Grumpy.

[Musky]

Get him this instead: