Screeching babies and clueless parents

[LizzyJo]

We have babies and cry and talk loud and yell. I can think of two sets of parents that seem to care. The rest let them yell or go into the lobby area (tile floors wood panels, lots of marble counters--in effect an echo chamber) and walk around or just stand the jiggling the squaller. We have a library, a mothers' room, a door that opens to a courtyard, but they seem to want to let us all share the their darling babies.

We have talked to the elders. It was the topic for local needs, We commend the parents that take care of their children. There are still these few that plain don't care or worse yet think their baby is cute doing this. What with one baby after another the problem has been going on for years.

Some brothers and sisters handle the noise better than others, but all are annoyed. One of the elders told me that we are here to upbuild one another and we don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

I can really understand how people snap.

What to do?

[Elijahsmama]

Really. I am sure the parents are not. "Clueless" I have a four year old (almost). This has been the hardest three years ever. At tonight's meeting he was lovingly brought to me because we was slamming the second school door. Yea! You can't muzzle you can only train. They are trained by being taken to every meeting. I wanted to stay home many many many meetings but forced myself because it was for the greater good. Just ignore, it we are there to encourage one another. Time flies and soon those Babies will be sitting quietly. I am so glad we are not Christendom, where children are separated from their parents. I am sure when Moses instructed Jehovah's people (all of them children included) it wasn't quiet. I am sure you love the little ones in congregation and their hardworking parents. So take heart it will be over soon.

[destiny]

Yes indeed, they help us to learn to be patient, let there be noise!

[ava]

We have babies and cry and talk loud and yell. I can think of two sets of parents that seem to care. The rest let them yell or go into the lobby area (tile floors wood panels, lots of marble counters--in effect an echo chamber) and walk around or just stand the jiggling the squaller. We have a library, a mothers' room, a door that opens to a courtyard, but they seem to want to let us all share the their darling babies.

We have talked to the elders. It was the topic for local needs, We commend the parents that take care of their children. There are still these few that plain don't care or worse yet think their baby is cute doing this. What with one baby after another the problem has been going on for years.

Some brothers and sisters handle the noise better than others, but all are annoyed. One of the elders told me that we are here to upbuild one another and we don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

I can really understand how people snap.

What to do?

First off, babies cry, alot. And if you say to a 6 month old baby "stop crying" the baby is going to have no clue what you are saying, lol.

Second, speaking from my own experience, I had two babies, 19 months apart. Over time I learned to just tune them out. Being a stay at home mom, and dealing with this, tuning them out is something I learned to do. I know other mothers who have done the same, think it's something just natural that happens after you have a baby. You realize that babies cry, and there is only so much you can do. You also learn to not let the baby crying get to you, cause if the baby knows mom is stressed, that will make the baby cry more. So I doubt the parents just "don't care". Also, if the baby is young enough, often the mom is just soooo tired, and barely got to the KH for the meeting, and now she is dealing with a crying baby who won't stop, and people at the hall who are mad at her cause her baby is crying. Try to think of her feelings and what she must be dealing with and how hard it probably was for her to go to the meeting, and try to be a bit more understanding and happy she is there. The first 6 months after my second child was born, I was a total zombie. I often walked around in a daze totally unaware of what my son's crying was doing to others. He had colic, so I didn't sleep much in the beginning. I was just happy I made it to the KH with matching shoes, lol. I can't begin to tell you how tired I was with my son. All day long I thought of was sleep. I craved it like something I had never craved before. Between me being sooooo tired and the non stop crying I was doing cause I was so tired cause my son wouldn't sleep, the last thing I was concerned with was how my son's crying was bothering others. That may seem selfish, but when you are that tired, you just don't care about others. That is just how I felt. I can't really describe it, you have to experience it to understand. Since I have been there, a baby crying doesn't bother me anymore. Before I had kids, I hated hearing babies cry, it got on my nerves. Now though, I have alot more understanding and alot of empathy for the parents, cause babies are alot of work.

Finally, I do agree that if there is a room with a door that closes, that is really the best place for the parents to go if there child is making a fuss. If it is a real problem, then I think the elders should talk to these ones privately rather then a bunch of people in the congregation complaining to the parents. I always took my babies to the mothers room that was in the sisters restroom, and at our hall, that is where the two moms who have babies go.

Hang in there, and remember, they are only babies for a while, they do eventually grow up and stop the non stop crying, lol.

Every once in awhile, a sister would take my crying son for me and go to the back so I could sit and actually listen to the meeting. Sometimes it was only for 30 minutes, but those sisters were wonderful for doing that. I wanted to cry cause I was so happy that I didn't have to hold a crying baby for a brief time at the KH, lol. Maybe you can offer to do that. Help them out once in a while, give them a break, take their baby to the mother's room. Some mom's probably won't let you, but there are others who will be incredibly thankful.

[retroHelen]

I can tune out the babies - I'm just glad the Mom's can make it. I remember when my sister and I were little ones and Mother would start getting me ready, then after me, my baby sister, while I did something and got all dirty again and she'd have to deal with me and then my sister would sick up or something and Mother would wonder if she would ever get out of the front door!

Our problem at the Hall is that all the dear old sister's sit together. I'ts known as Crinkly Corner. Most of them are deaf. They often don't realise the brother is trying to start the meeting and are still loudly gossiping when he announces the song number.During the meeting they shout to each other "what was that scripture? I didn't hear him." Even the CO has joined in with shouting his scripture references again for their benefit. But then one of them loudly asks if the others want a sweet and there's rattling toffee bags and paper-wrappers. They've been told not to, but they forget and the toffees come out a few weeks later again! The kids know where to form a queue after the meeting!

Well at least it's not as bad as at one Hall where an old lady used to pop out to take a nip of whiskey from a flask in her purse/handbag! Or the boy who was worried about his pet and brought his his sick pup in his book-bag and it started whimpering! Or the time there were lots of industrial strikes that cut the electricity and we sat through parts of the meeting with candles and torches. Or the time we were temporarily in a dilapidated hired Hall and the ceiling in the foyer came down during the meeting narrowly missing a sister who'd popped out to the tatty restroom!

We'll hopefully look back in a few hundred years and laugh at the rich tapestry of life at the Hall!

[LizzyJo]

So I doubt the parents just "don't care".

I disagree. There are two parents in all these cases--at least one could be aware.

. . . the last thing I was concerned with was how my son's crying was bothering others.

Yes that's how they are. But I'm not talking about tiny babies. These kids are 1-3 years old.

That may seem selfish . . . you just don't care about others.

Ipsa loquitur.

Before I had kids, I hated hearing babies cry, it got on my nerves.

I have had kids. They are in their 30s and 40s now and have finally stopped crying. But when they were little and cried or otherwise were disruptive in the meetings I got up and took them to a place where they could calm down. Only then would I bring them back into the main hall. If you read my post that's all I'm asking. I spent two or three years never hearing a talk or study all the way through. I didn't have a husband to help me either.

I do agree that if there is a room with a door that closes' date=' that is really the best place for the parents to go if there child is making a fuss. If it is a real problem, then I think the elders should talk to these ones privately rather then a bunch of people in the congregation complaining to the parents. I always took my babies to the mothers room that was in the sisters restroom, and at our hall, that is where the two moms who have babies go.[/quote']

Thank you, we reach agreement. As far as the elders go, the term "lily-livered" comes to mind. None want to talk to them personally. It is almost time for vigilante action. No violence, but talking to some of the mothers privately by some in the congregation who are REALLY bothered.

[Elijahsmama]

Well I guess today's text January 5 can be applied here. So we would want to follow the slaves council to keep peace. Pursuing peace sometimes means we need to keep to ourselves and show humility even when we are right.

[Sunshine234]

Personally I don't mind the crying I am just happy the family made it to the meeting but do dislike the coughing without hands over mouths or sneezing without a hanky from adults that should know better lol that's what distracts me as I will then be searching in my bag for antibacterial hand gel

[trottigy]

Lizzy, i don't thik i would call the elders "lily-livered" i seem to recall another sister who did something similar and was struck with leprosy her name was Miriam.

But to this topic - i hear ya honey! !!! I am not one to just complain though. I am a FIRM believer in - don't just talk DO. i have talked with more than one parent and offered my services to spank their children. If they don't like it - they don't sit near me, because after the 2nd time and they don't move - i ask again during the meeting and the point is made. Surprisingly, i actually had a sister (whose husband was conducting) take me up on my offer. I NEVER have had him disrupt things since - he was 5 and they say he has asperurgers (how ever u spell it). Well a good spanking is long remembered no matter the memtal "issue".

Many however appreciatte the kind and loving assistance. I regularly have a few single moms sit near Deb and i to provide assistance ;)

I encourage you - offer your assistance!!!!

[ava]

So I doubt the parents just "don't care".

I disagree. There are two parents in all these cases--at least one could be aware.

. . . the last thing I was concerned with was how my son's crying was bothering others.

Yes that's how they are. But I'm not talking about tiny babies. These kids are 1-3 years old.

That may seem selfish . . . you just don't care about others.

Ipsa loquitur.

Before I had kids, I hated hearing babies cry, it got on my nerves.

I have had kids. They are in their 30s and 40s now and have finally stopped crying. But when they were little and cried or otherwise were disruptive in the meetings I got up and took them to a place where they could calm down. Only then would I bring them back into the main hall. If you read my post that's all I'm asking. I spent two or three years never hearing a talk or study all the way through. I didn't have a husband to help me either.

I do agree that if there is a room with a door that closes' date=' that is really the best place for the parents to go if there child is making a fuss. If it is a real problem, then I think the elders should talk to these ones privately rather then a bunch of people in the congregation complaining to the parents. I always took my babies to the mothers room that was in the sisters restroom, and at our hall, that is where the two moms who have babies go.[/quote']

Thank you, we reach agreement. As far as the elders go, the term "lily-livered" comes to mind. None want to talk to them personally. It is almost time for vigilante action. No violence, but talking to some of the mothers privately by some in the congregation who are REALLY bothered.

In your opening post, you refer to these ones as "babies", now you say they are between 1-3 yrs old. A one year old is still a baby, 2-3 year old's are toddlers and are probably wearing diapers still, so you are talking about babies, and very, very young kids.

As to calling your elders "lily livered" well, that's a bit harsh. The elders are there to overseer and shepherd the congregation and are appointed, we want to be careful in the words we use to describe them.

As to your original comment that the parents "don't care" and the second comment that "at least one should be aware of", unless you are living in the home with these parents and are 100% positive on what's going on in their marriage and home life, making comments that "they don't care" is probably not appropriate.

As to ones in your congregation who are really bothered by this, I really don't know what to say. I have been to many congregations in my 40+ years, and while some babies can be annoying, I personally have never encountered any of the friends who were so bothered by it that they wanted to engage in "vigilante action" towards them, lol.

As I said in original post, try learning to tune them out and be happy that they made it to the meeting. The world we live in now is much more stressful then 20, 30, 40 yrs ago. We are all barely hanging on, and getting to the meetings is becoming harder and harder for all of us. Instead of being bothered by a little kid or baby crying, let's be happy that the parents made the meeting and their kids are growing up in a home of parents who love and want to serve Jehovah.

One other suggestion, I sit in the first row, all the parents sit in the last row, I never hear anything. Try sitting up front, you'd be surprised how little distraction there is at the hall.

[Elijahsmama]

Jerry I am not one to ever argue with a brother. BUT... Sometimes "help " is just opposite. I am not a weak sister i pioneered a long time until recently, my husband serves in the congregation. However I am tired and stressed out and sometimes all I get out of the meetings is the exercise back and forth from my seat the bathroom to discipline my loud child. Who promises me every time he will be quiet. Recently i had a melt down when a well meaning brother wanted to help out. I literally ran out of the main hall to cry in the bathroom. And then vented to his wife. I felt awful and in the end he felt awful. So I guess my message is we just never know how close to the edge our friends are.

And I am one who has given "belt privileges" to brothers that I pioneered with. They never used it but everyone knew the privileges were there. This helped me long days of service. One day hopefully not too far I will have a well behaved child, get to hear the entire meeting and sit up front were I prefer to sit.

[GrumpysWife]

Well I guess today's text January 5 can be applied here. So we would want to follow the slaves council to keep peace. Pursuing peace sometimes means we need to keep to ourselves and show humility even when we are right.

Totally agree with you.

[Buttons]

Oh! retro Helen, you have a wonderful sense of humor.

I laughed out loud when I read about the "Crinkly Corner". I guess I'm in that corner now and yes I have become hard of hearing. (I'm 76) Then the older sister who took a nip of whiskey from her purse/handbag--that was just too much. Also the boy who brought his sick pup in his bookbag and the pup started whimpering. Your are right, these are memories to treasure.

I really do believe the young mothers would appreciate help with their young ones. If we could just hold the young ones for awhile, it would give the mothers time to listen.

[Elijahsmama]

Thanks. I guess this topic currently sits way to close to home:glare:l

[trottigy]

Heather :grouphugs: we love you. Keep up the hard work.

[GrumpysWife]

As you all must know by now, I had 4 boys, and when we went to meetings, 3 of them were the best little kids in the hall. Then came Derrick. He was the most difficult child I have ever had to deal with. And it wasn't that I didn't try to get control of him, I just couldn't figure out how. It got so bad that as soon as we got near the seats to sit down, he would start. I would take him out and spank, settle down and as soon as I walked back into the main hall, he would start up again. Grumpy just washed his hands of him. We were at our wits end.

But the friends at the KH were so good to me and helped out as best they could. We need to help our young mothers as much as we can. A suggestion was to take one of the children for the parents for a while. Awesome idea. 1st of all it gives you an opportunity to get to know the child better and to understand where the parents are comming from.

2nd we get to help and maybe give the parents a rest. At our KH they are mostly older and then very young. But we are all like a family and have children sitting on our laps and beside us all the time. Being a parent is not easy these days. Everyone is scared to death to discipline at home or in public. If there is one mark on a child, the authorities can just come in and take them.

I know of one case where the child lied to the school and got her parents in so much trouble, they had to go to counseling and parenting classes. Another mother was put on probation for 6 years and had to go before a Judge every couple of months, while he asked the child if she was behaving herself. Instead of getting upset with people we need to do our best to help one another out.

These are difficult times, lets not make it harder than it needs to be. If you get distracted by the kids, sit in the front as has been suggested.

[javhair]

Our CO said we was all babies once that cried and made noise.

[LizzyJo]

Our CO said we was all babies once that cried and made noise.

True, but what has that got to do with the current crop of parents and babies? My mother tried to control me and if that didn't work I got to take a walk with her--not a stroll in the park.

[LizzyJo]

Well I guess today's text January 5 can be applied here. So we would want to follow the slaves council to keep peace. Pursuing peace sometimes means we need to keep to ourselves and show humility even when we are right.

The point of today's text is not to make stumbling blocks for others. Don't you think that street runs both ways? Peace is nice, I'd like to be able to sit in a meeting and have some.

[LizzyJo]

Well at least it's not as bad as at one Hall where an old lady used to pop out to take a nip of whiskey from a flask in her purse/handbag!

Now there's an idea. I think it would calm me right down!

[LeslieDean]

What a post to be treasured Vernalee. I never had the esperience of dealing with unruly children at a meeting because my were grown when I learned the Truth. My son, Travis and his wife Jane came for a visit from Shenzen, China in August and brought my two granddaughters (age 3 and 14months) that I had never seen before. They are not in the Truth. Their experience flying was a learning experience for them. They baby--which they say never cries could not keep quiet the entire 32 hour flight (with laysovers in Dubia then home to LA). Traivs said Marcy started crying as soon as the plane took off and screamed bloody murder the whole time. He said it was a marathon of a cry. The international flight was full of many different languages and he said they would rattle in their native tongue then in perfect Englis you could hear them say "crying baby". He said they were aware of the hostility onboard and were taken off guard since Marcy had never behaved this way. He said Jane took turns trying to walk and soothe her tokeep her quiet and not one single person spoke a kind word to them. After a nine hour flight to Dubia, upon landing she quit crying for the 1 1/2 hrs and slept the sleep of the dead. Once returning onbaord she immediately woke again and screamed again all the way to LA. When they landed and got to their hotel room he called me to say they had arrived safely. He said not to call them because they were all going to go to sleep and wanted to sleep uninteruted for as long as they could. I reminded him that Jane needed her rest to so please take good care of her. I asked him how Jane was managing and he replied "I don't really know. We are barely talking to each other." So this put an exorbitant amount of pressure on their relationship and when people are tired and besides theirself it is hard to even help one another.

My daughter had colic when she was a baby and no one expect my mother could handle her and soothe her in the way that she responded to. My motherinlaw was the polar opposite. My inlaws had a house with a hugh picture window in the living room and when we would drive up she would see us and get up and pull the blinds to the window. (Like we did not see her) She would then come to the fron door and open it two inches--with the chain lock in place--and tell us that we better not come inside because she was sick and she did not want to expose the baby. All the time she was fake coughing doing this. I was devastated. A young mother that needed just a listening ear or a kind word or better yet a short nap. I could get nothing from this woman. My sisterinlaw even told me I would need to find another baby sitter because she could not stand the constant crying. After 4 months she stopped the crying on her own and slept all night. The first time it happend I remember waking up so scared because I thought she would be dead when I went in to check on her in her crib. But she was still sleeping!

I feel for all the young parents and even us older ones. I know what they go through from having had a crying baby and now being on the other end of the spectrum. I'll take this end anytime.

[trottigy]

Lizzy - you crack me up. Any chance you could move to Vegas?

Well at least it's not as bad as at one Hall where an old lady used to pop out to take a nip of whiskey from a flask in her purse/handbag!

Now there's an idea. I think it would calm me right down!

[ava]

Well I guess today's text January 5 can be applied here. So we would want to follow the slaves council to keep peace. Pursuing peace sometimes means we need to keep to ourselves and show humility even when we are right.

The point of today's text is not to make stumbling blocks for others. Don't you think that street runs both ways? Peace is nice, I'd like to be able to sit in a meeting and have some.

Are you suggesting that these parents whose babies are crying are causing stumbling blocks for you? Really?

[ava]

As you all must know by now, I had 4 boys, and when we went to meetings, 3 of them were the best little kids in the hall. Then came Derrick. He was the most difficult child I have ever had to deal with. And it wasn't that I didn't try to get control of him, I just couldn't figure out how. It got so bad that as soon as we got near the seats to sit down, he would start. I would take him out and spank, settle down and as soon as I walked back into the main hall, he would start up again. Grumpy just washed his hands of him. We were at our wits end.

But the friends at the KH were so good to me and helped out as best they could. We need to help our young mothers as much as we can. A suggestion was to take one of the children for the parents for a while. Awesome idea. 1st of all it gives you an opportunity to get to know the child better and to understand where the parents are comming from.

2nd we get to help and maybe give the parents a rest. At our KH they are mostly older and then very young. But we are all like a family and have children sitting on our laps and beside us all the time. Being a parent is not easy these days. Everyone is scared to death to discipline at home or in public. If there is one mark on a child, the authorities can just come in and take them.

I know of one case where the child lied to the school and got her parents in so much trouble, they had to go to counseling and parenting classes. Another mother was put on probation for 6 years and had to go before a Judge every couple of months, while he asked the child if she was behaving herself. Instead of getting upset with people we need to do our best to help one another out.

These are difficult times, lets not make it harder than it needs to be. If you get distracted by the kids, sit in the front as has been suggested.

Thank you for these wonderful comments, especially the last sentence.

"These are difficult times, lets not make it harder than it needs to be"

[LizzyJo]

Lizzy, i don't thik i would call the elders "lily-livered" i seem to recall another sister who did something similar and was struck with leprosy her name was Miriam.

I have asked two or three (as have others) to say something to the miscreants and to a man they say something like,"Oh. I don't want to get involved in that--uhh-uh" John Wayne would call thay "lily livered".

But to this topic - i hear ya honey! !!! I am not one to just complain though. I am a FIRM believer in - don't just talk DO. i have talked with more than one parent and offered my services to spank their children. If they don't like it - they don't sit near me, because after the 2nd time and they don't move - i ask again during the meeting and the point is made. Surprisingly, i actually had a sister (whose husband was conducting) take me up on my offer. I NEVER have had him disrupt things since - he was 5 and they say he has asperurgers (how ever u spell it). Well a good spanking is long remembered no matter the memtal "issue".

That's one I haven't tried yet, maybe tomorrow. Do you have to ask first or can you just grabs the screamer and take it away and leave it in the courtyard area?