When no one is around...

[LeslieDean]

do you ever swear? I use to think this was a given. That as witnesses, we do not swear. But during a public talk once the speaker said (the subject was not to judge our brothers) that most of our brothers and sisters work with worldly individuals and language can wear off on us and we have to fight this at times. He used an example of being on a RBC project someone got hurt--banged their finger with a hammer) and let a foul word slip out. He said most just overlooked it but several could not. He said that if we have the tendancy to use swear words when by ourself they WILL come out and we will not be aware. But he said from time to time the cited occassion happens and it whould not even be brought up. We do have a sister in our hall who will get flustered and let a swear word fly and sometimes she is aware but other times she is not. I just giggle to myself as I watch the looks on the others faces. How do you respond if this has happened to you?

[destiny]

I swear a lot in my mind. (Especially when driving), hope that is not a sin or ill be going to hell!

[Qapla]

I sometimes work with a brother I have know for 40+ years. He was "raised" with the Truth since he was a young boy but not since birth. His Dad served as an Elder for many years and he also serves as an Elder - has for any years.

One day while we were on a job and I was working in front of a rather large and very expensive house along with the brother's one full-time employee we heard some raised voices, yelling and an astounding amount of cursing and profanity coming from inside the house. There were multiple voices involved in this shouting match. The language was littered with most of the words people usually associate with profane cursing.

We realized that one of the voices was the boss - this brother - and yes, he was yelling and cursing just like the other guys he was arguing with.

We just looked at each other and kept on working. Keep in mind the full-time guy is NOT a witness but he knows we are and has known many other witnesses.

After a couple minutes went by I felt I had to go in and drag my brother out of there and started to head for the house when the yelling stopped and guys came out from different doors. When he got closer we asked what was wrong - he was still quite red in the face. It seems something had happened or was about to happen that would have cost him close to $5,000 because on of the other contractors didn't care if he messed someone else's work or stuff up and the cost to us would have been at least that much. They did come to an arrangement when the owner of the house finally understood that all these overrun costs would fall back on him.

Anyway, I later talked to the brother about his language since I had never heard him talk that way before. The full-time guy told me he had heard the boss "lose it" a couple times but that it was rare. The brother told me that since he has been working on construction jobs/sites most of his working life and hears that sort of language everyday it is hard not to have it affect you. In this case, it did. He apologized for his indiscretion and I have never heard him use language like that since.

Now, I will also add that I too have worked around that kind of language most of my working life. However, when I cut myself with a power circular saw, I grabbed my hand and said "Oh No!". and then looked to see what the damage was.

The point is, we are all imperfect. Some of us are subject to one type of influence while others of us are subject to another. Some of will react with calmness others will "fall apart" ... and yes, some will let an inappropriate word rip while others will not.

As long as it is not the usual way someone talks it is not really any different than some of the other mistakes we make - it is when we "practice" such things we have a problem.

[Iksplorer]

I didn't swear before I became a Jehovah's Witness so it's never been a problem for me. I have occasionally heard brothers swear. I do bring it to the brother's attention in case he didn't realize he swore. Most of the time these brothers were not even aware of the language they had used while talking to me.

[JudyO]

I don't swear in my mind, but I do think some pretty mean things about people I work with, and some of my clients/customers at work. I am working on that mainly because of the scripture in 2 Cor 10:5 that indicates that one day every thought will be "obedient to the Christ". I struggle every day... and really look forward to that time!

[surfergirl]

I never use to. If I did swear My folks would punish me. I was 17.

Now I have develop a bad habit. Under my breath. Especially at are drivers. I had an incident last week I was at a shop and in the car park. I had my door wide open & 3 kids with me I was loading up the car. I asked one of my daughters if she could please shut the door she was a little slow. A driver started to come in. I said hang on. Asked my daughter again. She wasn't helping & this driver was impatient. She continued to drive in. I went to shut the door &as I did. She continued right on thru. She wanted to use the spot as a short cut to get out of the shops. She almost took my door. I am a little slow. Taken medicine. Boy did I under my brearh.

There has been alot of drivers that for one reason or another around my area have just about caused an accident.

I have been so scared I've let it out. Its not good & I do feel yuck after. I suppose self control is a good ingredient. In not swearing.

[destiny]

I am working on that mainly because of the scripture in 2 Cor 10:5 that indicates that one day every thought will be "obedient to the Christ". I struggle every day... and really look forward to that time!

me too.....the mind is such a battlefield!!

[carribbeangrl01]

Not me. I've always found the words associated with swearing pretty much deplorable. Not that I haven't slipped like 3times in my life. I've got plenty of other issues so I'm not going to be self righteous and say it never happens or I don't think it once in awhile, but generally I despise swearing.

[destiny]

Not me. I've always found the words associated with swearing pretty much deplorable. Not that I haven't slipped like 3times in my life. I've got plenty of other issues so I'm not going to be self righteous and say it never happens or I don't think it once in awhile, but generally I despise swearing.

you must have never driven in NYC. lol

[carribbeangrl01]

Correction on that statement. I have and it was the worst experience ever!!!!.

I started out with a nervous breakdown and cried. That was in the 1st less than 10 minutes. I was telling my husband. I can't do this. These people are out to kill me. People were cutting me off and honking and just being typical rude new yorkers. So within 30 minutes of this craziness,we found somewhere to park ,eat and let me get my bearings. When we got on the road again, I didn't swear but I was just as bad as all the other drivers basically saying get out of my way. I didnt break down quite as much with that mentality, but it was still horrible and I hated it. The next year my husband wanted to go, I flat out refused until he found that I could drive in next to the water and woulnt have all the craziness. That was tolerable, not too bad.

So long story short while I would definitely understand and not judge anyone for swearing in some situations such as that, I still didn't. I just cried a lot instead. Lol.

Not me. I've always found the words associated with swearing pretty much deplorable. Not that I haven't slipped like 3times in my life. I've got plenty of other issues so I'm not going to be self righteous and say it never happens or I don't think it once in awhile, but generally I despise swearing.

you must have never driven in NYC. lol

[destiny]

Correction on that statement. I have and it was the worst experience ever!!!!.

I started out with a nervous breakdown and cried. That was in the 1st less than 10 minutes. I was telling my husband. I can't do this. These people are out to kill me. People were cutting me off and honking and just being typical rude new yorkers. So within 30 minutes of this craziness,we found somewhere to park ,eat and let me get my bearings. When we got on the road again, I didn't swear but I was just as bad as all the other drivers basically saying get out of my way. I didnt break down quite as much with that mentality, but it was still horrible and I hated it. The next year my husband wanted to go, I flat out refused until he found that I could drive in next to the water and woulnt have all the craziness. That was tolerable, not too bad.

So long story short while I would definitely understand and not judge anyone for swearing in some situations such as that, I still didn't. I just cried a lot instead. Lol.

Not me. I've always found the words associated with swearing pretty much deplorable. Not that I haven't slipped like 3times in my life. I've got plenty of other issues so I'm not going to be self righteous and say it never happens or I don't think it once in awhile, but generally I despise swearing.

you must have never driven in NYC. lol

some swear to avoid the nervous breakdown? ;)

[carribbeangrl01]

Could be I guess.

[DarinS]

If we think - we'll eventually SAY IT

if we say it privately we'll eventually SAY IT PUBLICLY

whether this be curses - belligerent speech - or harsh words in general

knowing Jehovah hates this 'talk' should be enough motivation for us to WANT to stop....

had a Bible Student who faced this problem....

only way he eventually overcame...

1) self-exam of why he felt the need to use poor language and curse words.

2) keeping in the FRONT of his mind his desire to live/Speak in a way that is acceptable to Jehovah

[ava]

When I was inactive, I swore alot. I stopped though when I had kids, then I got back to the meetings. I don't swear anymore. I hear it all day at work, and I just have no desire to do that.

[destiny]

maybe we need to clarify----

cursing and swearing......what is the difference?

[Qapla]

I ran into this once when we had to give counsel to someone about their language - the person insisted that they "Did NOT swear!!!"

The one brother continued to ask about some things that had been reported and the person was adamant that they "Did NOT swear!!!"

I finally asked what they thought we meant - to them what was "swearing" and they replied "Giving or taking OATHS!" And they had quit doing that when they had come into the Truth.

When I explained that we were talking about the use of "profanity" not oaths they exclaimed, "OH! You mean Cussing" - after that was cleared up there was easy progress.

So, since the OP mentioned "swearing" then said "foul language" I took it to mean the "swearing" in this thread was about the use of profanity - cursing (cussing), not oath making/taking (swearing) regardless of the term used.

Is this understanding correct?

[NSSewer]

Oh Leslie I use to swear with curse words when I was younger but I don't anymore...until TODAY! Oh my word I had a tough day! I was called an a hole because he couldn't get his way. I replied you will not call me an a hole and expect for me to help you and then I set him straight! I caught myself but I was so angry. It really was a MAD MAD Monday! I remember years ago, there was a deaf sister who was having trouble with the microphone, it did not work at first but suddenly it worked and out came a curse word and sometimes the speech is usually louder with the deaf and adding the microphone...she was reproved publicly the way it was done then. I think swearing and cursing might have to do with geography...similar to soda and pop...

Unfortunately, though under my breath and in my head, I do use derogatory terms to describe people and not just one nationality but any who are acting distastefully. I'm working on it. I really am. I AM! One brother said that this dust is no better than that dust, so I have something to work on in my head instead of bad words to describe poorly acting people.

[Myree]

I sometimes work with a brother I have know for 40+ years. He was "raised" with the Truth since he was a young boy but not since birth. His Dad served as an Elder for many years and he also serves as an Elder - has for any years.

One day while we were on a job and I was working in front of a rather large and very expensive house along with the brother's one full-time employee we heard some raised voices, yelling and an astounding amount of cursing and profanity coming from inside the house. There were multiple voices involved in this shouting match. The language was littered with most of the words people usually associate with profane cursing.

We realized that one of the voices was the boss - this brother - and yes, he was yelling and cursing just like the other guys he was arguing with.

We just looked at each other and kept on working. Keep in mind the full-time guy is NOT a witness but he knows we are and has known many other witnesses.

After a couple minutes went by I felt I had to go in and drag my brother out of there and started to head for the house when the yelling stopped and guys came out from different doors. When he got closer we asked what was wrong - he was still quite red in the face. It seems something had happened or was about to happen that would have cost him close to $5,000 because on of the other contractors didn't care if he messed someone else's work or stuff up and the cost to us would have been at least that much. They did come to an arrangement when the owner of the house finally understood that all these overrun costs would fall back on him.

Anyway, I later talked to the brother about his language since I had never heard him talk that way before. The full-time guy told me he had heard the boss "lose it" a couple times but that it was rare. The brother told me that since he has been working on construction jobs/sites most of his working life and hears that sort of language everyday it is hard not to have it affect you. In this case, it did. He apologized for his indiscretion and I have never heard him use language like that since.

Now, I will also add that I too have worked around that kind of language most of my working life. However, when I cut myself with a power circular saw, I grabbed my hand and said "Oh No!". and then looked to see what the damage was.

The point is, we are all imperfect. Some of us are subject to one type of influence while others of us are subject to another. Some of will react with calmness others will "fall apart" ... and yes, some will let an inappropriate word rip while others will not.

As long as it is not the usual way someone talks it is not really any different than some of the other mistakes we make - it is when we "practice" such things we have a problem.

I'm not judging but I would think letting a swear word fly out in an extreme situation like a near car accident or a painful injury is a little different than a screaming match with multiple profanities. His environment must have been influencing him in a major way. What if he did this at home?

We're all imperfect but so long as we don't make a practice of it, we can forgive ourselves and others for letting a choice word fly in extreme circumstances.

[boodles]

It's been my experience that we cannot go easy on ourselves as regards to swearing or cursing. Once we start to slip, even in private, it gets easier and easier to keep slipping and it brings so much reproach to Jehovah. How can we praise him with clean speech and then let the most filthy words come out due to lack of self control? I used to cuss a lot as a teenager and I still battle with it in my head (I think I have mild OCD) so I really try to not let my mind go there and definitely not let anything come out. I think it falls under being faithful in what is least. I've seen my Pentecostal aunt lose her temper and swear, and I always figured she needed a little more holy spirit. Well, maybe a lot more!!

There's a great article in g 3/08 pp.19-21 that can help us to examine why we might swear and gives good reasons not to. It also gives the illustration that "You wouldn't abuse a valued gift. Why abuse the gift of speech?"

[Qapla]

... I'm not judging but I would think letting a swear word fly out in an extreme situation like a near car accident or a painful injury is a little different than a screaming match with multiple profanities. His environment must have been influencing him in a major way....

Not that this is an excuse and I'm not sure that a near accident or even an actual accident is anymore of a reason to "let one fly" as is this situation. I will add that this job was quite physical demanding and he had been working all morning. There were some other things that had happened when we first arrived and as the day continued some of the other subs on the job were becoming quite antagonistic because they all thought their job was THE most important and they wanted to be parked where we were working. (Parking was a real problem) I should also mention that it was about 100 degrees out and we had a heat index around 115. I'm sure some of this added to his slip.

[MeelyB]

There's a great article in g 3/08 pp.19-21 that can help us to examine why we might swear and gives good reasons not to. It also gives the illustration that "You wouldn't abuse a valued gift. Why abuse the gift of speech?"

Thankyou everyone of you and to Jehovah for this topic... Phew I've been struggling with this a lot lately.

I used to have a fowl mouth mainly in anger but still...

Had lots of habits contrary to Jehovah's ways. Lately I've found myself using some words some would say they not that bad but even sooo it's how and when i come out with em.

It's been said here that to Jehovah swearing or cursing is an equal level with other things he hates. Reading these posts makes me more determined to watch my speech whether in private or and public.

Where is that scripture in James that talks about the tongue?

[tucker]

I just read the most interesting article in the 1981 WT about Peter swearing when he was accused of being one of Jesus disciples. (Matt. 26: 74) It said that the original Hebrew and Greek words refer to calling down evil on some one or some thing So Peter was not using profanity but was fearfully trying to convince those around him that his denials were truthful. That was a falsehood for which he had to repent. ( WT 1981 Nov. 15, pg 31)

[LeslieDean]

I remember this point being covered in several public talks over the years. I found that very interesting because I always imagined him cussing these people out. It changed my thought line then.