Scriptural Misquotes-2

[Rajan]

There was a very shy, fat unmarried brother, with a big belly named John, known for good appetite. An Elder observed that this guy is very shy and leave immediately after the meeting, not even without greeting any brother/sister/elder anytime. He thought, after this meeting I will admonish him to widen out and also ask him to show generosity. So after the meeting this Elder called this fat brother. Both sat together. The Elder asked him to open up his Bible to 2nd Corinthians. By an oversight this brother opened 1st Corinthians, without realising it. As he was a shy guy, he read the scriptures silently and the Elder, knowing his shyness did not force him, as he himself was reading in mind. Both could not hear what the other one is reading. Here is the conversation.

So Bro. John, open the 6th chapter and read what the 13th verse teach us.

(2 Cor. 6:13 - So, as a recompense in return—I speak as to children—YOU, too, widen out.)

John silently reads (1 Cor. 6:13 - Foods for the belly, and the belly for foods; but God will bring both it and them to nothing. ……… )

John realised, the elders knew his big belly problem and want to counsel about his bad eating habit. He said.. Yes Brother… I understand….I will….. (John is so embarrassed so could not speak much)

Elder: Good Br. John, now look at this scripture. (Elder thinks John should not feel embarrassed. ) please go to 7th chapter and read verse 2 B-part.

(2 Cor. 7:2 B– ……, I do not say this to condemn you…)

John reads (1 Cor. 7:2 B …. let each man have his own wife and each woman have her own husband. )

Elder – did you understand the principle behind this scripture…?

John – (thinking that Elder might be asking him to get married to balance his eating problems) nodding his head vehemently..yes.yes...brother, I understand..I understand… A good support will minimize the problems… that is the principle…

Elder – You are clever Bro. John. We, elders are always good support. (Elder thinks, John need to be more generous too…so he says) So John, just see what chapter 8, verse 8 & 9 says…

(2 Cor. 8:8,9 - It is not in the way of commanding you, but in view of the earnestness of others and to make a test of the genuineness of your love, that I am speaking. For you know the undeserved kindness of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich he became poor for your sakes, that you might become rich through his poverty.)

John reads (1 Cor. 8:8,9 - But food will not commend us to God, if we do not eat, we do not fall short, and, if we eat, we have no credit to ourselves. But keep watching that this authority of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to those who are weak.)

Oh..no… again food… - thinks John.. - I need to get married immediately so that my wife can control my food and diet… - so he assures the Elder - Thanks brother. I will apply it immediately…. Please help me in this regard (what John means is that to find out a good sister for him).

Elder – Sure Bro. John. Because I understand what the verse 13 says.. please read

(2 Cor. 8:13 - For I do not mean for it to be easy for others, but hard on you).

John reads (1 Cor. 8:13 - Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never again eat flesh at all, that I may not make my brother stumble.)

Elder – so Bro. John, I know it may be hard for you. But don’t worry we will help you too.

John – Thanks Brother. I never though about this you brothers are so helpful. I missed your association.

Since then John awaited this Elder to bring a sister to him …. He waited…waited… during this time,, he lost his appetite, which in turn controlled his eating habits..he made good health.. lost some pounds… and since the conversation helped him to have good friendship with the Elder, his association also improved in the congregation…

Till date, both never realised what went wrong.. or did something went wrong??

(LOL - joking).

[Joey]

Very funny brother.