My GPS is My Wife

[Willow]

Sent this to some friends and they suggested I post here. Hope you enjoy! 

 

I have a little GPS

 I've had it most of my life

It's better than the normal ones

My GPS is my wife
 

 

 It gives me full instructions

 Especially how to drive

 "It's thirty miles an hour", it says

 "You're doing thirty five"

 

 It tells me when to stop and start

 And when to use the brake

And tells me that it's never ever

 Safe to overtake
 

 

It tells me when a light is red

 And when it goes to green

It seems to know instinctively

 Just when to intervene

 

 It lists the vehicles just in front

 And all those to the rear

 And taking this into account

It specifies my gear.
 

 

 I'm sure no other driver

 Has so helpful a device

 For when we leave and lock the car

 It still gives its advice
 

 It fills me up with counseling

 Each journey's pretty fraught

 So why don't I exchange it

 And get a quieter sort?
 

 

 Ah well, you see, it cleans the house, Makes sure I'm properly fed, It

 washes all my shirts and things And - keeps me warm in bed!
 

 Despite all these advantages

And my tendency to scoff,

 I do wish that once in a while

 I could turn the damned thing off.

 

 

 

[GrumpysWife]

Grumpy thought you wrote it about me.

[Willow]

No wonder he is called "Grumpy"! HA! Actually, I POSTED it because of you!   (Meaning - your suggestion.)

[GrumpysWife]

See I told you it would be appreciated!

[trottigy]

 All I can say is - DEAD ON!!!