British Classified Ads

[Brother_Bliss]

You have to love British humor! These are classified ads, which were actually placed in a U..K. newspaper (or so the story goes):

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FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.

8 years old.

Hateful little beast (Bites!

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FREE PUPPIES.

1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog.

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FREE PUPPIES.

Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.

Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

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COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.

Also 1 gay bull for sale.

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JOINING NUDIST COLONY!

Must sell washer and dryer £100.

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WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE ...

Worn once by mistake.

Call Stephanie.

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FOR SALE BY OWNER.

Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes.

Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.

[Áine]

British humour is great... but the Americans seem to have a good sense of humour as well

·DOG FOR SALE: EATS ANYTHING AND IS FOND OF CHILDREN.

·MIXING BOWL SET DESIGNED TO PLEASE A COOK WITH ROUND BOTTOM FOR EFFICIENT BEATING.

·OUR EXPERIENCED MOM WILL CARE FOR YOUR CHILD. FENCED YARD, MEALS, AND SMACKS INCLUDED.

·MAN WANTED TO WORK IN DYNAMITE FACTORY. MUST BE WILLING TO TRAVEL.

·TIRED OF CLEANING YOURSELF. LET ME DO IT.

·3-YEAR OLD TEACHER NEEDED FOR PRE-SCHOOL. EXPERIENCE PREFERRED.

·FOR SALE: ANTIQUE DESK SUITABLE FOR LADY WITH THICK LEGS AND LARGE DRAWERS.

·DINNER SPECIAL -- TURKEY $2.35; CHICKEN OR BEEF $2.25; CHILDREN $2.00

·MT. KILIMANJARO, THE BREATHTAKING BACKDROP FOR THE SERENA LODGE.

SWIM IN THE LOVELY POOL WHILE YOU DRINK IT ALL IN.

[retroHelen]

I have a genuine job advert cut from the 1970's local newspaper pinned up on my cupboard door it reads:

CEMENT OPERATIVE - to cover the West Cumbria area.

Someone doesn't like the Lake District!!!

[sweetwillow58]

These were funny, thanks!

[Spydar]

I am laughing so Hard

Loving the British Ads

FOR SALE BY OWNER.

Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes.

Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.

FREE PUPPIES.

Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.

Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

American Ads

TIRED OF CLEANING YOURSELF. LET ME DO IT

FOR SALE: ANTIQUE DESK SUITABLE FOR LADY WITH THICK LEGS AND LARGE DRAWERS.