Glad Grads

[kejedo]

             I'm so happy for the families that have been experiencing the benefits of homeschooling. For decades, I have volunteered my time with home school families. I usually tutor math and lead field trips through our neighboring sites of historic and geographic importance. One such family just graduated their two children. They also had a niece live with them, who finished home school graduation a year or two ago. During this family's years of home education, I spent many hours with the students. I would show up weekly at the appointed time. Often the student /parent would be very late, maybe an hour, and sometimes "didn't feel like doing it now."  I studied the expectations for each year's finals and wrote yearly review packets that I personally studied to cover each expected concept. Then I did a finals workshop with each student at their own level. No student I worked with ever failed their finals, and each student told me the finals workshop had helped them pass.

                The mother called me last week to attend their graduation. She had sent out invitations to cell phone numbers, but I only use my cell for emergencies.  From her phone call, my understanding was that I was invited to be in my car in front of their house and the sister would step outside, briefly, to hand the self-issued diplomas to the two students. Time:3:30.

Then there was a zoom meeting planned for 4:30 as part of this graduation. Sis gave me zoom numbers. I made out money cards of respectful denomination for each graduate. I arrived a few minutes late, and the Sis could see me round the corner and yelled "Hi!" The reason that she could see my car is that, although the hedges in front of their residence are taller than I, there is one spot of visibility. Sister's best friend had her car blocking the driveway. 

                I wondered if Sis would maybe show a cake to everyone, in front of the hedges, and offer a piece to the folks in their autos. This didn't happen, and i would have declined anyway (counting carbs). Obviously, I missed the diploma handing. It became apparent that some of the attendees were invited in for the "real party"to follow, at 4:30. There were two signs outside the hedges with the students' pictures.  Some people were bringing in prepared food and beverages. The house has two front lawns, a side barbecue patio and a back yard. It became clear that I was not among the in-crowd. I walked out of the car with gift envelopes and the father directed me to put the envelopes on top of the hedges. Reached up and did so, Then I left as the there was no reason for the 'drive bys" to hang around outside while the A-listers were preparing their entrances. My total time - 15 minutes, and never saw either of the graduates. I did not zoom in at 4:30, because I was not particularly interested in watching the insiders cavort and interact.

                If I am invited to another such bifurcated event, I would probably just mail a card. I did not feel like the "stay in car part" was meaningful to me, because it did not feel like I had attended anything.   To my knowledge, I was the only person who regularly worked with the homeschoolers, since I had been an advanced math (and all other academic subjects) teacher for years, and the parents were not familiar with that content material. I was also tutoring their younger cousin, weekly, at my house.   This boy's mother would always be more than an hour late and It fizzled out. I think I will hold off from free tutoring and teaching now that I am retired from regular school.  Has this set-up become common? I was wondering how I would feel to invite someone to park their car and stay in it, in the street in front of my house, and have them observe the invited insiders file in. I realize this is something I would not consider, personally. Y(never learned the secret hand shake)S

[Ludwika]

I'm sorry you were treated so rudely, Pauline. This just saddened me. 

[nanceebgd46]

Pauline,

  I likewise felt you were treated poorly....such behavior hurts....but, it's like

I told my daughter when she was around five or six years old....she came

home from school and told me some boys were calling her ugly names on

the playground.....and she said..."that wasn't fair Mom" and I told her I know

it wasn't fair......and then I said to her....dear remember what I am going to

tell you....."Life is not fair."    Keep your chin up, you're not alone.

[kejedo]

I am always a bit surprised when "the friends" seem to not even rise to the level of etiquette that most worldlings do. I remember being invited to a bridal shower, and assumed that meant I would be invited to the wedding as well, and got a yard sale find to wear to the wedding reception. Turns out, no, no invitation to the wedding reception. The bride's mother told me later that I could have gone to the wedding at Kingdom Hall, but not to the reception, b/c that was limited.  I thought I had low expectations already, but it seems I have to work on having zero expectations, at least as far as social events among the JW friends.   Y(limbo lower, now)S

Edited August 17, 2020 by kejedo