Encouraging inner beauty article

[Nnaemeka]

There's this beautiful young sister in my congregation that's into tiktok, frequent postings and all that. Am looking for a video or article that can help a young person to ask: where will my beauty be 20 years from now? Am I going for lasting beauty or the temporary fading one? Something that doesn't make a young lively lady think of, there's straw in your eye why disturb me about the rafter in my eyes? You know that sort of carefully young reframing. Thanks

 

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[careful]

does she have  parents???

[Nnaemeka]

does she have  parents???

No. Lives alone and far from parents. Second generation immigrants. Going towards 30ish I believe.

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[Dolce vita]

There are quite a few articles aimed at teenagers, but if the sister is approaching her thirties, she might not respond well to that approach; she might not feel that the tone of those articles applies to her.

 

Perhaps portraits of remarkable women who have developed a remarkable faith in Jehovah would resonate with her more.

“Imitate Their Faith” profiles some of them.

Just in case:

https://www.jw.org/en/library/magazines/awake-no4-2016-august/bible-says-about-beauty/

https://www.jw.org/en/library/videos/Imitate-Their-Faith/rebekah/

https://www.jw.org/en/library/magazines/watchtower-no3-2017-may/sarah-bible/

 

Some of these women faced serious problems because of their physical appearance: Tamar, David's daughter, Dinah, Sarah... food for thought!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[AYMA]

So... I am reminded of the video we saw at the "Pursue Peace!" Convention in 2022. "Put away Peace Wreckers" about 2 sisters, Haley and Emily. Haley had a social media account. 

 

https://www.jw.org/finder?srcid=jwlshare&wtlocale=E&lank=pub-jwbcov22_14_VIDEO

 

Lesson: Let's not be Emily 😁 

Not saying you are my brother but yeah, may want to ask yourself: Is it really necessary to broach this subject with her? Only you can say. May Jehovah guide you in the right direction. 💙

 

 

[LeolaRootStew]

Are you an elder/have you informed the elders so they can handle this? 

[careful]

8 minutes ago, LeolaRootStew said:

handle this? 

is it just me????why does this need to be "handled"???????

[LeolaRootStew]

2 hours ago, careful said:

is it just me????why does this need to be "handled"???????

 

It's not just you - I don't see what the problem is. This is general advice for when you think there is a problem.

[BLEmom]

Unless she’s doing something immoral, I would mind my own business.  If she has mature spiritual sisters, they could possibly address if there’s a need. But yeah, a random person, especially a brother, doesn’t need to be worrying about how many times a day she posts on tik tok. 

[dljbsp]

18 hours ago, Nnaemeka said:

There's this beautiful young sister in my congregation that's into tiktok, frequent postings and all that. Am looking for a video or article that can help a young person to ask: where will my beauty be 20 years from now? Am I going for lasting beauty or the temporary fading one? Something that doesn't make a young lively lady think of, there's straw in your eye why disturb me about the rafter in my eyes? You know that sort of carefully young reframing. Thanks

As I read the question, I found myself wondering if you first established that there's actually a spiritual issue to address. Sometimes our concern for someone is genuine, but before looking for counsel, it's good to ask whether Jehovah has drawn a line there or whether He has left the matter to individual conscience. — Romans 14:4, 10-13.
 

It almost seems that the conclusion has already been reached that something needs to be corrected, and the next step is simply to find material that supports that conclusion. But have we first established that there is actually a Scriptural issue here?— Proverbs 18:13, 17.
 

Could it be that this is simply a matter of personal judgment? If so, then perhaps we should be careful not to draw a line where Jehovah has not. — Romans 14:1-5; Colossians 2:20-23.

 

If there were clear Scriptural principles being violated, then the direction would be obvious. But if not, perhaps our first question should be whether this is something Jehovah has actually asked us to correct. — Micah 6:8; 1 Thessalonians 4:11.

[Friend of Peace]

Brother, “Rejoice with those who rejoice.” (Rom. 12:15)
 

The sister enjoys taking appropriate photos of herself.
 

Always look for the good she does, don’t tear her down over perceived non issues. Queen Esther was beautiful and focused on her beauty for a whole year. That didn’t affect her relationship with God.
 

The sister is obviously looking after herself, rejoice in that with her!  

[Nnaemeka]

Am not looking for counseling. That's the problem. I am trying to like help one appreciate the contrast between 2 actions.
For example, if a father notices his son watching TV excessively and the father enjoys watching TV, if the father tells the son be careful of your TV watching what will the son do? Daddy you also watch TV. But what if the father knows the TV watching is becoming like a snare but because he watches TV the son would not realize it?
That's the problem many authorities faced in regulating games, social media etc. It's like what an older experience person sees sitting down a young person might not climbing a tree but how to make one aware of it without it being a counsel. Just like a friendly word between friends. Or a humorous anecdote. That's what beats me.
It's like walking a fine between not counseling one but making one aware of something.
Okay a nice line I can remember:
If you live in a glass house don't throw stones.
It's not counseling anyone but someone living in a glass house if he picks up stones and remember that refrain would drop the stones or change location.
It's the closest I can get in my head.

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[Nnaemeka]

As I read the question, I found myself wondering if you first established that there's actually a spiritual issue to address. Sometimes our concern for someone is genuine, but before looking for counsel, it's good to ask whether Jehovah has drawn a line there or whether He has left the matter to individual conscience. — Romans 14:4, 10-13.
 
It almost seems that the conclusion has already been reached that something needs to be corrected, and the next step is simply to find material that supports that conclusion. But have we first established that there is actually a Scriptural issue here?— Proverbs 18:13, 17.
 
Could it be that this is simply a matter of personal judgment? If so, then perhaps we should be careful not to draw a line where Jehovah has not. — Romans 14:1-5; Colossians 2:20-23.
 
If there were clear Scriptural principles being violated, then the direction would be obvious. But if not, perhaps our first question should be whether this is something Jehovah has actually asked us to correct. — Micah 6:8; 1 Thessalonians 4:11.

Yeah. That's the problem. It's because the unique way humans were created. A loves playing football and goes to the world cup. B plays for a season but stopped because he ended in a wheelchair. Does that mean playing football is the best career or a career to avoid? That's the uniqueness of the human situation why Jehovah decides to give us principles.
That's why we are careful not to give counsel where personal choices are involved but would love others to have foresight into a situation especially if one has been there before.
It's a balancing act. How to do it?

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[LeolaRootStew]

4 hours ago, Nnaemeka said:

Am not looking for counseling. That's the problem. I am trying to like help one appreciate the contrast between 2 actions.
For example, if a father notices his son watching TV excessively and the father enjoys watching TV, if the father tells the son be careful of your TV watching what will the son do? Daddy you also watch TV. But what if the father knows the TV watching is becoming like a snare but because he watches TV the son would not realize it?
That's the problem many authorities faced in regulating games, social media etc. It's like what an older experience person sees sitting down a young person might not climbing a tree but how to make one aware of it without it being a counsel. Just like a friendly word between friends. Or a humorous anecdote. That's what beats me.
It's like walking a fine between not counseling one but making one aware of something.
Okay a nice line I can remember:
If you live in a glass house don't throw stones.
It's not counseling anyone but someone living in a glass house if he picks up stones and remember that refrain would drop the stones or change location.
It's the closest I can get in my head.

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I think if you are trying to counsel someone on spending less time on social media, giving them an article on vanity is not going to get that message across.

[BLEmom]

I think what some have wondered is what is your relation to this young lady?  Are you an elder?  Are you family? Are you physically attracted to her?  What are your motives in even knowing how much she is doing on TikTok?  

[dljbsp]

• Cultivating the secret person of the heart rather than focusing primarily on outward appearance. (1 Peter 3:3, 4)
  
  There's the principle. 
  
  To apply that principle to this sister, you are implicitly making a judgment that she is not cultivating the secret person of the heart.
   

  I'm not sure we have enough information to reach that conclusion.

   

  Do we know how regular she is in the ministry?

  Do we know how meaningful her personal study is?

  Do we know whether she comments at the meetings?

  Do we know whether she prepares for the meetings?

  Do we know whether she has a close relationship with Jehovah?

  Do we know whether she is known for her kindness?

  Do we know whether she encourages others?

  Do we know whether she assists elderly ones?

  Do we know whether she is hospitable?

  Do we know whether she reaches out spiritually?

  Do we know whether she has a fine reputation in the congregation?

  Do we know whether she is exemplary in Christian conduct?

  Do we know how much time she spends in prayer?

  Do we know how she treats her family?

  Do we know what sacrifices she makes for Jehovah?

  Do we know what spiritual goals she has?

  Do we know whether mature sisters view her as spiritually minded?

  Do we know whether the elders have concerns about her spirituality?
  
  We don't know any of those things. Yet all of them are far more relevant to whether she is cultivating "the secret person of the heart" than the simple fact that she posts frequently on TikTok.
  
  Do not answer those questions for us.
  
  This is public social media. (Think before you post) Imagine how you would feel if you discovered a discussion like this was about you. I suspect she would have some 'Scriptural principles' for all of us to consider as well.

Edited 2 hours ago by dljbsp
typo

[careful]

was it the apostle paul who said.....mind yur business?