Limericks

[clez]

Thank-you for joining us Nancy I loved your limerick . Hope you won't stop at one. Its funny we have brother just like Jake in our cong he is so lovely but he just flogs the blocks.

11am it is time for a break.

Bring out the coffee and cake.

Now refreshed we are ready to go.

Seeds of truth to spread and sow.

Hurry up now lives are at stake.

[Joey]

I am trying to figure out flogs the blocks....lol.....this is a new one to me.....nice limerick.

[Joey]

The friends are sometimes a trial

They hug you and kiss you and smile

You want to me mad:X

At some spat that you had

But they already deleted the file.

[Ms. Piffle]

ok. I'll give it a try . . .

There was a sister called Little Fly

Who wrote a limerick to her surprise

She wrote then erased

Every word she replace

Till her limerick was unseen to the eyes

[Joey]

I sorta messed up my last one...I'll try again.....

I forgot to study my Watchtower

and the meetings in less than an hour

so I scanned it real quick

made highlights lickety split

but the lesson lacked some of it's power.

[Catalyst]

I sorta messed up my last one...I'll try again.....

I forgot to study my Watchtower

and the meetings in less than an hour

so I scanned it real quick

made highlights lickety split

but the lesson lacked some of it's power.

Ah.. you went to the meeting with a live chicken!

It is interesting what can be said in just 5 lines.

I know a brother called Ray

Who likes to get his own way

If you tell him he's wrong

you'd better be strong

'cause he'll fight you the rest of the day.

[surfergirl]

I once knew a brother who owned a moat.

He said quick get the boat its time to go.

Throw the nets & make some fishers of men

So of they did go & boy did they land them.

[Catalyst]

There was a brother named Ken

who never had on him a pen

He often would borrow

to everyone's sorrow

as they never would see it ag'in

( liberties with the last word....)

[Catalyst]

Do you know a brother like Paul

Who thinks he is really so cool

He'll wear his dark glasses

and make lot's of passes

at the sisters who come to the hall

[clez]

Hi Vicki thanks for joining us loved your limerick hope it won't be your last:welcome:

Steve how did you know that was me. I'm notorious for losing not only my pens and everyone else's but Bibles song books

I don't know how it happens its like a black hole follows me around. If anyone in the cong loses anything they come up to me.

[Catalyst]

Hi Vicki thanks for joining us loved your limerick hope it won't be your last:welcome:

Steve how did you know that was me. I'm notorious for losing not only my pens and everyone else's but Bibles song books

I don't know how it happens its like a black hole follows me around. If anyone in the cong loses anything they come up to me.

Ha .. I like that

a black hole follows me around

Would make a good blues song line .....

[clez]

Hi Nancy I have been thinking and thinking how to explain flog the blocks. I suppose it is just an Aussie saying.

When you are flogging something you are working hard at it:deadhorse: we don't do streets when we witness we go all around the entire block.

It is a bone of contention that some bros and sis. are more concerned over finishing the blocks then the people in the territory.

Instead of saying Oh I had a great morning and showed someone a lot of Bible scriptures. I might get a study. They will say oh I had a great morning and finished 2 maps.

Sometimes we have a little chat on the street corner for a few minutes and they (the block floggers) will say hurry hurry up hurry up we have to finish the block.

In my mothers Cong they always have coffee at 11 for 10min but in other Cong's they will say oh I can't stop for 10min I have to finish the block.

Hence the slang block floggers.

Hope I haven't confused you more.

In our Cong we have the block floggers.

Racing around the territory in their joggers

Never ever slowing down to walk

At the doors they would never talk

We still love'em them block sloggers

Sloggers is a word we use all the time not in spell check it means you keep at it, enduring.

[clez]

Do you know a brother like Paul

Who thinks he is really so cool

He'll wear his dark glasses

and make lot's of passes

at the sisters who come to the hall

The Elders came to talk to brother Paul.

And really made him feel quite small.

With all the girls he was not to chat.

Because it made him like a dirty rat.

It did him good 'cause now he's on the ball.

[Catalyst]

Do you know a brother like Paul

Who thinks he is really so cool

He'll wear his dark glasses

and make lot's of passes

at the sisters who come to the hall

The Elders came to talk to brother Paul.

And really made him feel quite small.

With all the girls he was not to chat.

Because it made him like a dirty rat.

It did him good 'cause now he's on the ball.

touché.....

[Catalyst]

There is a sister called Joan

Who is always using her phone

Even in the meeting

she is often tweeting

should we leave her alone?

[clez]

Beep beep beep what is that sound?

Half the Kingdom hall turned around.

oh no!!!!! Its Joans' phone off again.

Its just not on, the rules we can't bend.

Out went the phone now we all sit without a frown.

When Old brother X gave a talk some found it boring

In fact some of the audience gave way to snoring

The points he made were so deep

Those spiritually weak went fast to sleep

Those spiritually strong found it quite absorbing

[Catalyst]

A sister had talk number three

She thought "oh no, why choose me"

She went over time

and muffed her best line

And then just wanted to flee

A brother had talk number four

He said my talks are real poor

I have no great skill

and I feel quite ill

then he collapsed on the floor

Hmmm ...my limericks are getting negative recently

I'll try to come up with some positve ones

[Catalyst]

There was a brother called Jim

who was remarkably thin

When he got on the stage

most were amazed

as all they could see was a pin

[Catalyst]

A watchtower conductor called Scott

forgot brothers names quite a lot

so they wore a name badge

but with no advantage

as they found out his eyesight was shot

[Catalyst]

The car groups in earnest did meet

and assigned each person a seat

along came late sister

but everyone missed her

so she ended up left on the street.

[Catalyst]

There is a brother called Ron

whose voice is remarkably strong.

When he sings at the hall

your skin starts to crawl

as he hits those high notes all wrong

(Well, I'm enjoying the limericks )

[clez]

I am enjoying them too. Been away for the long weekend to visit family.

Ode to Vincent

Masterpieces that never sold

Yellow sunflowers big and bold

Starry Starry nights

Shadows and lights

In the New World the truth will be told

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Steve had cotton wool stuffed in his ears

He was made fun of by all of his peers

Well at least my skin is not crawling

With all of Rons' loud bawling

In the cong. he now sits without any fears

[clez]

No one is writing limericks

Is everyone watching the flicks

Or is it you have no time

Is it you can't find a rhyme

I'll give you a beating with some sticks:deadhorse:

oops thats nothing about the truth:peace:

Cless had a bad relation

because she wasn't patient

She kept praying and praying and praying

For her impatience to keep decaying

In the end she had to go on vacation:boating:

[Catalyst]

No one is writing limericks

Is everyone watching the flicks

Or is it you have no time

Is it you can't find a rhyme

I'll give you a beating with some sticks:deadhorse:

oops thats nothing about the truth:peace:

Cless had a bad relation

because she wasn't patient

She kept praying and praying and praying

For her impatience to keep decaying

In the end she had to go on vacation:boating:

I wanted to make a limerick thread

to express the thoughts that are in my head

some others tried too

but there were too few

so now I declare this thread is dead

Thanks for trying Clez

[surfergirl]

Dead said Said Fred.

What the. do you mean.

Are you Afraid.

You might find the Maid.

Who would dig you into

with a spade.

So shouted said Fred.

For the Psalmist also cried

he wasn't the calmist after he lost

his cool.