Limericks

[Catalyst]

Making a limerick is not as easy as you think

Copied from http://www.gigglepoetry.com/poetryclass/limerickcontesthelp.html

Here is a very famous limerick. Notice both the rhyme and rhythm patterns.

1.

There was an old man from Peru, (A)

da DUM da da DUM da da DUM (3 DUMS)

2.

who dreamed he was eating his shoe. (A)

da DUM da da DUM da da DUM (3 DUMS)

3.

He awoke in the night (

da DUM da da DUM (2 DUMS)

4.

with a terrible fright, (

da da DUM da da DUM (2 DUMS)

5.

and found out that it was quite true. (A)

da DUM da da DUM da da DUM (3 DUMS)

When you write a limerick, make sure that it has the same AABBA rhyme pattern. Make sure it also has the same 3 DUMS, 3 DUMS, 2 DUMS, 2 DUMS, 3 DUMS rhythm pattern, too. To be sure, recite the poem, substituting “da” for all unaccented or unstressed syllables and “DUM” for all accented or stressed syllables, as I have done above. If your poem doesn’t have a similar rhythm pattern, then you need to make some adjustments.

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I thought it might be interesting to try to write some witness related limericks

(of course not offensive)

Here is my ( admitedly poor ) effort.......

There was a young witness called Pete

Who had such extremely large feet

One day at a door

A big man gave a roar

Then went flying out into the street.

How 'bout yours ...

I'm sure you can do better than me..

[Catalyst]

No takers yet?

Ok... here is another one I came up with

There was an old brother called Steve

Whose talks made most people heave

When he got up to speak

The seats started to creak

As everyone got up to leave

( self deprication?)

[surfergirl]

I will have ago.

There was a Man who was a walking Down the Street.

He was a shuffling his feet to a beat.

He look good he looked fine & I nearly lost my Mind

There he was justa standing next to me.

He smiled at me & then walked a mile away from me.

I felt so down and looked like a clown

He waved good bye & I started to cry..

[clez]

There was a young lady from Niger

Who smiled when riding on a tiger

When they returned with the lady inside

And a smile on the face of the tiger

Ask your mother for sixpence to see the tall giraffe

With whiskers on his nostrils ... and

pimples on his ar..ask your mother for sixpence...

There was a man named Michael Finegan

who grew whiskers on his chinegan

The wind came down and blew them off again

Poor old Michael Finnegan Chinegan

Arty farty had a party

and all the farts were there

Tutti Fruiti did a beauty

and they all ran out for air

[surfergirl]

There was a young lady from Niger

Who smiled when riding on a tiger

When they returned with the lady inside

And a smile on the face of the tiger

Ask your mother for sixpence to see the tall giraffe

With whiskers on his nostrils ... and

pimples on his ar..ask your mother for sixpence...

There was a man named Michael Finegan

who grew whiskers on his chinegan

The wind came down and blew them off again

Poor old Michael Finnegan Chinegan

Arty farty had a party

and all the farts were there

Tutti Fruiti did a beauty

and they all ran out for air

>< I love it Clez.

[clez]

I am so happy you did. I was ahh I hope someone isn't going to get offended and deactivate me . I love it so much here you can be you. xx

[Catalyst]

I am so happy you did. I was ahh I hope someone isn't going to get offended and deactivate me . I love it so much here you can be you. xx

Hey.. thanks for trying but don't forget a limerick has to follow the pattern in the first post

You have to do the da da Dum Dum thing..and 5 lines....and it needs to be something connected with witnesses

here is another I just thought of ( I admit pretty feeble attempt but notice it fits the pattern)

There was a young brother called Ted

who was often caught lying in bed

on field service day

he just hit the hay

and the brothers they often saw red

keep trying...

[clez]

sorry I'll try again I think The last line isn't right:crackwhip:

I once knew a man

who lived in Japan

Field service he would go

seeds of truth he would sow

Taking the old in his van

[Catalyst]

sorry I'll try again I think The last line isn't right:crackwhip:

I once knew a man

who lived in Japan

Field service he would go

seeds of truth he would sow

Taking the old in his van

Nice job!

Here is my next try

There was a big brother called Clyde

you could say was on the "large" side

when he got in a car

it went down too far

so he was rarely offered a ride.

[clez]

There a young man who sat in the pews

From the Bible he learnt the good news

After having once learnt his fate

He resigned from Babylon the great

The way of the truth he did choose

[surfergirl]

There once was a Sister name Stella.

she thought she was a Bella.

But she would give them hella. when it came

to the scriptures.

She used her wit, with a spit in the eye.

She would say'' to the fields we must go.

For they are ready to be harvested. So she

would as she should .invested her time.

Teaching & preaching.To alsorts of Fellas.

[Catalyst]

There once was a Sister name Stella.

she thought she was a Bella.

But she would give them hella. when it came

to the scriptures.

She used her wit, with a spit in the eye.

She would say'' to the fields we must go.

For they are ready to be harvested. So she

would as she should .invested her time.

Teaching & preaching.To alsorts of Fellas.

Nice try.. but not a limerick

To many lines and da da DUM DUM'S

Take a look at the first post again

Keep trying ...

[clez]

da da Dum Dum da da Dum Dum

Jesus says cum cum cum

to my beautiful new earth

beautiful turf, beautiful surf

everyone will be your chum

[Catalyst]

da da Dum Dum da da Dum Dum

Jesus says cum cum cum

to my beautiful new earth

beautiful turf, beautiful surf

everyone will be your chum

Nice one Cyril

Nice one son

Nice one Cyril

Let's have another one

I match yours with this.....

In the new system we'll see

what living can really be

No illness no death

no one takes their last breath

and where nobody charges a fee.

Anyone else going to join in?

[Catalyst]

Thanks for the forum Bob

There is a bright Brother called Bob

whose forum, it does a great job

We can meet Brothers new

and express a view, too

and sometimes can have a big sob

[surfergirl]

I like limerick, riddles & poetry but I get them all mixed up.LOL.

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There once was a man who went to sea.

Tried to escape his assignment.

But he got caught up by a whale.

Everyone thought he told tales.

So he got locked up with nails.

He bailed on the Kale.

[clez]

Steve was as happy as he could be.

writing limericks and poetry

daily reading his Bible.

tolerating no rival

the new world he could really see

[Catalyst]

Steve was as happy as he could be.

writing limericks and poetry

daily reading his Bible.

tolerating no rival

the new world he could really see

I'll have to watch out

You are getting better !

[clez]

Today I'm off to the 3 day convention

where people sit without distension

songs of praise will be sung

one day the old will be young

no more sickness no more pension

yipeee I can't wait for it we must be one of the last to have ours.

I am going to stuff myself silly with a spiritual buffet.

[Catalyst]

Today I'm off to the 3 day convention

where people sit without distension

songs of praise will be sung

one day the old will be young

no more sickness no more pension

yipeee I can't wait for it we must be one of the last to have ours.

I am going to stuff myself silly with a spiritual buffet.

where people sit without distension

I would hope so...

meaning....

the act of distending or the state of being distended especially unduly or abnormally

Symptoms.—There is some distension of the abdomen, but no accumulation of gas.

Did you use the right word?

Anyway.......

There was a brother named Fred

Who blogged all the things in his head

But he started to frown

and he got really down

when not even one thing was read

[clez]

that is too funny I meant dissention ( all sitting in harmony ) spell check says its wrong but I think I got it right this time and I certainly hope they all sat without distension.

we should have a new thread on funny things people say wrong or when they read something wrong..

Then dear brother Fred started to pray

The things in his head he began to say

He'd resolved never to doubt again

To his spirituality he would always tend

He resolved to serve Jah come what may

I always seem to have trouble with the last line I don't mind if you want to correct or change a line of mine.

[Catalyst]

that is too funny I meant dissention ( all sitting in harmony ) spell check says its wrong but I think I got it right this time and I certainly hope they all sat without distension.

we should have a new thread on funny things people say wrong or when they read something wrong..

Then dear brother Fred started to pray

The things in his head he began to say

He'd resolved never to doubt again

To his spirituality he would always tend

He resolved to serve Jah come what may

I always seem to have trouble with the last line I don't mind if you want to correct or change a line of mine.

I guessed that was the case:laugh: (although sitting for a long time might cause other kinds of problems sometimes )

I always seem to have trouble with the last line I don't mind if you want to correct or change a line of mine

Oh no..that's not for me to do

I am not a moderator of people's thoughts

We all have different ways to write and express ourselves

As they say practice makes perfect better.

[clez]

oh how can we improve with no one to tell us what is wrong.

Jonah was sent by Jehovah to the Ninevites

They didn't know their left from their right

They showed great remorse

repenting from their wrong course

returning to Jah with all their might

[Catalyst]

oh how can we improve with no one to tell us what is wrong.

Jonah was sent by Jehovah to the Ninevites

They didn't know their left from their right

They showed great remorse

repenting from their wrong course

returning to Jah with all their might

See..getting better all the time.....sometimes self correction is the best way.

[Joey]

There once was a brother named Jake

He'd never stop for a break

All the children would cry

All the brothers would sigh

And the sisters would say " Go jump in the lake."