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Airport Humor

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I got this in an email and thought I'd share some chuckles with you. :ecstatic:

A DC airport

ticket agent offers some examples of 'why' our country is in


1. I had a New Hampshire

Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle seat so that her hair

wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)

2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard

Bauleke), who wanted to go to Cape Town. I started to explain the length of

the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with,

''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts


Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained,

''Cape Cod is in Massachusetts , Cape Town is in Africa. His response,


3. A senior Vermont Congressman

(Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what

was wrong with the vacation in Orlando . He said he was expecting an

ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in

the middle of the state.

He replied, 'don't lie to me, I looked on the

map and Florida is a very thin state!'' (OMG)

4. I got a

call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ''Is it possible to see

England from Canada ?''

I said, ''No.'' She said, ''But they look

so close on the map.'' (OMG, again!)

5. An aide for a

cabinet member(Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if he could rent a car

in Dallas . I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour

layover in Dallas . When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ''I

heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates

to save time.'' (Aghhhh)

6. An Illinois Congresswoman

(Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She needed to know how it was

possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at

8:33 a.m.

I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but

she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the

plane went fast, and she bought that.

7. A New York

lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do airlines put your physical

description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?'' I said,

'No, why do you ask?'

He replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the

airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I

think that's very rude!''

After putting him on hold for a minute, while

I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city

code for Fresno , Ca. is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just

putting a destination tag on his luggage.

8. A Senator

John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip package to

Hawaii . After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper

to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?''

9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby

Bright (D) from Ala who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get


I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was

told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.''

10. Senator Dianne Feinstein (D) called and said, ''I

need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little

computer planes?''

I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola , FL on a

commuter plane. She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''


Mary Landrieu (D) La. Senator called and had a question about the documents

she needed in order to fly to China . After a lengthy discussion about

passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. 'Oh, no I don't. I've been

to China many times and never had to have one of those.''

I double

checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her this she

said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted

my American Express!''

12. A New Jersey Congressman (John

Adler) called to make reservations, ''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New

York .''

I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure

that's the name of the town?''

'Yes, what flights do you have?''

replied the man.

After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry,

sir, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino


''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows

where it is. Check your map!''

So I scoured a map of the state of New

York and finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo , do you?''


reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''

Now you know why the

Government is in the shape that it's in!

Could anyone be this




I don't write it, I just

offer it for your consideration. Like manure, you just gotta spread it


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