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In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity


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In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.

(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

(the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap,"

(and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."

(but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."

(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."

(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."

(but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."

(and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."

(as opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."

(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."

(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."

(Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)

On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."

(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

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