Poetry by A Cluttered Mind

[normadenardo]

We live with the

consequences

of our

choices

and sometimes

the

sadness

eats us alive

and sometimes

the sadness

spills out

onto

others we love

and

it makes us

regret

everything

 

(I just get to keep paying for my mistakes over and over and over again.)

[normadenardo]

Safely tucked away

 

And so she put her

needs away

and put her

dreams on hold,

she keeps them

safely hidden in

a place where

no ones told.

and the life

that she had

hoped for,

her tears have

swept away.

time has

long forgotten it,

how long

she couldn't say.

and she really

can't remember

when she last

truly smiled,

or the last time she

felt giddy,

her heartbeat

running wild.

and she cannot

see tomorrow

as a place where love

flows free.

and if you haven't

guessed it yet

the name of her

is me.

Edited March 4, 2019 by normaclutter

[normadenardo]

You will not see

My aching

You will not see

My pain

I keep it

Fairly hidden

And tight

I hold

The rein

If it were

Somehow

Set free

To do It's

Bidding well

The temporary

Madness

No one could

E're quell

And yet

Sometimes

Thoughts

Leak through

Upon the pages

White

And stain with

Hopes

And memories

That never

Turned out right.

Edited March 4, 2019 by normaclutter

[normadenardo]

incomplete

 

I am a puzzle missing pieces

Not entirely complete

A portrait of a mother

With a face of bittersweet

A flood of raw emotion

A dam cannot contain

A hurricane a brewing

From a single drop of rain

A sunset missing color

A cake that's missing sweet

A heart that's full of happy

With sadness tucked in neat

A strong will sometimes broken

But patched with hope again

Remembered voices spoken

In daydreams now and then

A head that's full of letters

Forming words of how I feel

Sharing them with others

It seems to help me deal

And another year has vanished

He was nowhere to be seen

'cept every other thought I had

Intwined with that saline

And so I beg my Maker

Get me through just one more day

Let all my missing pieces

Please convince my faith to stay

So one day I will feel it

One day I will see

That God has healed my broken heart

And brought him back to me.

 

Looking forward to future days

Job 14:15

Revelation 21:4

Philippians 4:6&7

Acts 24:15

[normadenardo]

Back from the Brink

 

A solemn promise

Pushed aside

But not forgotten.

It was not guilt

That brought me

Back to Jehovah,

But Love and

Belief in His promise.

It was loss

Of parents

And the hope

And trust

Of a young child

And the loss

Of a son

A young man

Full of life

And love

But broken and lost

For many years

That will

Always

Help me remember

How important

I am to Jehovah

And the Son

He gave

So one day

I can see mine

Again.

 

[normadenardo]

You asked what I was thinking

But you didn't want to know

Where all my thoughts were going

But you knew you wouldn't go

You knew you were invited

You were always welcome there

You used to visit sometimes

Now you really just don't care

You think I can displace them

And think of only now

This day, this hour and minute

Should be what I allow

But what you do not understand

What you cannot see

That all these thoughts I'm thinking

If they're gone

Then I lose Me.

[normadenardo]

Message preach

Truth teace

World signs

Unspeakable crimes

Critical times

Great Babylon fall

Affects all

Turn on us

Big fuss

Message alter

Never falter

Angels wait

Anticipate

Change course

Gather force

Jesus leads

No more pleads

Jehovah backs

Nothing lacks

Fair and square

Done with flair

All united

All excited

One

[normadenardo]

Some days

I just can't shake the

Melancholy

[normadenardo]

I tried to sift

Through bits and

Pieces

Of an incomplete

Life

A belt

A knife

Drumsticks and

Guitar picks

A wooden box

Trinkets inside

Baby clothes

A teddy bear

With a singed leg

A file box

Filled with papers

Ball caps

And beanies.

And tears

Returned

As sadness

Draped over me.

And only

Hope

In God's promise

Of a new life

And resurrection

To come

Helped me

Breathe

Again.

[normadenardo]

A poem never given

 

Did you let your spirit harden,

Did you let your love grow cold

Did you lose hope on the promise,

the prophecy foretold.

Did you listen to the doubters,

did you let the lies sink in,

forget all that he taught you,

did you broaden out your sin.

Did you put it all behind you,

did you cover up your eyes,

did you bury all the knowledge,

and forget about the prize.

Did you let someone deceive you,

he does his job so well

Did his freedom and rebellion

for a large price to you sell.

Did another cause your stumble,

did you fall and not get up.

Did your stomach for sin rumble,

did your pureness it corrupt.

Did you think "It's just to strict for me"

"I don't like any rules",

Would you die for so called freedom,

this world, you it fools.

Does your selfish pride prevent you,

from looking past your nose.

Will you dig your heels in deeper,

as this system starts to close.

When every church has fallen

but God's Witnesses still stand,

will you think you mad the right choice,

will you let go of my hand.

When i stand with all the others,

will you then just walk away,

or will this poem I wrote for you,

touch your heart today.

 

[normadenardo]

I wrote this to my sons father when my son died. He lives in another state. I never sent the letter.

His death certificate says cause of death:

Complications of chronic alcoholism.

What a sad inheritance.

 

 

A legacy passed

from father to son

and father to son

to celebrate the pain of loss,

or the gain of victory

any excuse.

celebration with inebriation.

They live on,

but he paid

the ultimate sacrifice.

They sit in their homes

Misers in their old age.

My son paid

the price.

For following in

their example.

The men

who should have taught

him strength and love

and purpose.

They taught him

how to turn

not to his family,

but his bottle.

They taught him

not love,

but drunken love

and drunken anger,

and now

in his prime

his broken body

and broken mind

finally broke his spirit.

The son that loved to live

and give

could not survive.

I must wait

to see him again.

I will never

receive an apology

for years taken from me.

And this will be the same.

Guilt never admitted.

one more thing

taken from me

and him

Time and life.

 

 

[Friends just call me Ross]

Wow!  Awesome bit of poetry, Sister Norma!  I am looking forward to reading more of your work.

Very moving.  I was able to identify with so much of what you had expressed.  Thanks for sharing YOU. ❤️  ((((Sister Norma))))

[normadenardo]

forgotten verses

inside my head

of unspoken words

thought when i’m

in bed

i wake in the morning

and find they

are gone

why didn’t i write them

down when they

were strong

keep meaning to leave

a notepad by my bed

but fear i’d forget it

where it could be read

then what would i

do then

you’d know how i feel

and i just don’t know

if you’d ever heal

so most of the

good stuff

stays right where it

started

cause when morning

comes

the verse has

departed

[normadenardo]

What could have been

What should have been

Rarely is what is.

What sight I had

What might I had

Would always slowly fizz.

I lost my head

I made my bed

With this in mind I live.

I lost it then

I gain it now

the power he can give.

My life I give

My soul will live

within His loving hands.

Renew my vow

from this day now

my future with him lands.

So if you read

Please take my lead

and you will not regret.

Just take his hand

His purpose grand

He will not you forget.

It will be soon

Morn' night or noon

Though day we do not know.

But nothing lost

can pay the cost

if time can't make us grow.

So keep in mind

and you will find

it's right around the bend.

His promise grand

the promised land

and life without an end.

 

 

Edited March 6, 2019 by normaclutter
two seperate poems. didn't want them merged

[normadenardo]

if we are to be pawns

in a game

of life

and death

i prefer

to be

on the side

of truth

of good

of life

if we are to be pawns

of angels

and demons

and gods

and desires

i choose light

over dark

pure

over filth

i choose knowledge

over ignorance

kindness

over apathy

i choose love

over hate

if we are to be pawns

i give myself

to the one

who designed

and created

all things.

i chose my side

whats yours?

[normadenardo]

disconnected

truth rejected

faith neglected

eyes turned blind

can not see it

can not be it

do not need it

then you find

all that chatter

doesn’t matter

his heart tatter

him remind

that he lost you

it will cost you

what you learned

all left behind

he’ll patient wait

sealed not fate

soon or late

you will find

this world cold

getting old

his hand just hold

and you’ll be fine

in his direction

seek protection

self correction

not a grind

do it for you

we adore you

we implore you

hit rewind

[normadenardo]

Broken promises

taste like lies

vague excuses

alibis

living clean

is just too hard

so you pull

the free will card

shun my feelings

it don't matter

all i hear

is chatter chatter

[normadenardo]

Sit in silence

Speak your mind

Only in your head

 

Print the words

On the paper

Never to be read

 

Silence gold

Truth be told

No one wants to hear

 

Your opinion

What you need

Even what you fear

 

Maybe someday

One will listen

But until that time

 

Keep it shut

Zip it up

Because you undermine

 

Words unspoken

Embers burning

Soon they'll disappear

 

You won't hear me

Quiet I'll be

You won't know i'm here

[normadenardo]

Roads are traveled

Dirt or graveled

Twisting, turning

Direction yearning

Sometimes leading

Sometimes follow

Over hills and

Through the hollow

Sometimes barely

See the path

Check the compass

Do the math

Take a wrong turn

Re-adjust

To make it through

This is a must

But it's your choice

Which road to take

Or you can sit

And no choice make

I choose the narrow

Some choose the wide

And other... they

Just want to hide

But either way

Just 'round the bend

All

Roads

End.

[normadenardo]

lonely woman

sad and blue

lonely woman

jokes on you

thought you had him

but you don't

thought he'd love you

but he won't

he won't let you

in his heart

show his feelings

won't even start

leads you on

but won't deliver

not a taker

not a giver

never gone

he's always home

but you still

are all alone

crawl in bed

and go to sleep

all emotions

inside keep

in the morning

wake and then

choke back tears

fake smile again

understand

he never will

it's so sad

it makes you ill

tried to fix it

it won't change

so your feelings

rearrange

make believe it's

all okay

hide your heart

another day

never question

never ask

be a good wife

stay on task

close your eyes

and do not peek

another lover

do not seek

lonely woman

sad and blue

lonely woman

jokes on you

 

[Friends just call me Ross]

So much emotion expressed in so few words.

It truly is quality, not quantity, that counts. 

[normadenardo]

open my eyes

and look in the mirror

and tell me what i see

who is that woman

standing there

looking back at me

i've felt her pain

her secrets kept

i've even cried her tears

but yet she hides

her heart from me

through all our common years

at times i'm close

to knowing her

i look into her eyes

the clearest blue i've

ever seen

but it's a good disguise

she's not sure

'bout who she is

or who she wants to be

as silent tears

roll down her face

she wipes them on my sleeve

and then she turns

to walk away

but turns and says to me

just be patient

you'll be fine...

and i know

so will she

 

 

[normadenardo]

The blows were dealt

The sorrows felt

The past is far behind me

 

Yet still the scars

The dings and mars

Rise up and sometimes find me

 

A sleepless night

A dreamful fright

A memory forgotten

 

Will find me still

Will bind me still

The stench of it is rotten

 

So here I sit

By night phone lit

Recording words so sadly

 

But this I know

I did my best

Though others it hurt badly

 

But God forgives

And I try too

And pray for peace and healing

 

And one day hope

I will not wake

To thoughts that send me reeling

[normadenardo]

Together (but not really)

 

Together

But separate

Isn't it odd

You turned

To the world

And I

Turned to God

You used to

Support it

You said

You believed

But something

Removed it

You asked it

To leave

I can't live

Without it

You can't

With it live

So here we

Live parallel

And neither

Will give -

Up the things

That make them

The person

They are

The hardness

The softness

The healing

The scar.

We can't share

What we have

Down deep

In our heart

Cause

Those things

That hold us

Just keep us

Apart.

[normadenardo]

I received

A box of ashes

I'll place it on a shelf

My son he is asleep now

But not his former self

It wasn't s'posed

To happen,

Life wasn't meant to end,

It shouldn't have been

Painful

We shouldn't break

Just bend.

And though my heart

Is ripped now

And feels beyond repair

Jehovah will help heal it

With all His tender care.

And when He raises

Andrew,

And earth's

a peaceful place,

All these scars

Within me

Jehovah will erase

Until then

I'll be patient

Though tears of loss

I'll cry,

Because Jehovah's

Promised me

On Him I can rely.

Edited March 6, 2019 by normaclutter