How are you dealing with singleness?

[vern]

marriage is the freedom to love someone.

But a ball and chain if its the wrong person and they aren't loving; they just use.

[Barbllm]

I've not heard the term "ball and chain" used outside of dated comedy shows, but it persists as a  metaphor for how men are "chained" to a woman in marriage. 

 

I guess it persists because women (wives) become the most visible reminder of responsibility. Men who refer to their wives this way aren't showing them love or respect, and seem to be resentful of having to behave like a grown up. They might complain about having to do household chores ("women's work") but there's a better word for that: adulting. 

 

I also think this terminology persists because many people get married because they think they're supposed to, and not because they actually like the person they're marrying enough to live in the same house for 80 years.

[Kunlesky]

On 12/31/2025 at 12:10 PM, Barbllm said:

I've not heard the term "ball and chain" used outside of dated comedy shows, but it persists as a  metaphor for how men are "chained" to a woman in marriage. 

 

I guess it persists because women (wives) become the most visible reminder of responsibility. Men who refer to their wives this way aren't showing them love or respect, and seem to be resentful of having to behave like a grown up. They might complain about having to do household chores ("women's work") but there's a better word for that: adulting. 

 

I also think this terminology persists because many people get married because they think they're supposed to, and not because they actually like the person they're marrying enough to live in the same house for 80 years.

 

Selecting a marriage partner is, we all know, a serious and heavy responsibility. I have had it referred to as a blind market. It is a good thing the organization is delving deeper into the intricacies of making sound decisions in those areas. After trying to do everything right (almost impossible for an imperfect human), it is still possible to end up in a marriage where you think you haven't made the right choice. There is a particular treachery in giving human minds multiple choice. Sometimes it is a case of mistakenly thinking (or believing) that the grass is always greener on the other side of our situation. In the past, what has helped relationships and marriages stabilize is the extended family network. The weight of expectations and family examples is daunting. It is imperative to humbly seek wisdom from above when making vital, life-changing decisions such as this.

[Hope]

Either person can be the "ball and chain" if they are ill-suited, don't carry their own weight, or prove to be a burden rather than a partner.