It's What's INSIDE That Counts!

[Timl1980]

I am so broken.

 

There...that's it...I said it😔

 

Some days I wake up and literally just want to shut my eyes and fall back to sleep...waking up ONLY on the other side.

 

I don't want to be here anymore...it's just too hard...it's just too much.

 

I am so tired…I'm so worn out...my body is beginning to hurt in ways that I know are only going to get worse...can't Jehovah see that I've had enough already??

 

Why is he allowing me to go through all of this? What did I ever do to him?? Why can't I just stop "feeling"? Why make me go through this...day after day...hour after hour...minute by minute? What purpose does it serve making me cry...every single day? 

 

I get it...Satan sucks...sin SUCKS…but please...I'm begging you...just...leave...me...alone!!

 

And yet...here I sit...day after day....struggling to carry on...even if it's literally just for one more day...one more hour...please Jehovah, just let me make it one more minute!!

 

The tears flow...the prayers ascend...and yet here I sit...STILL going through the same things...why?

 

I received my answer...and once again...as always seems to be the case with myself...it came from the lips of a loving shepherd...a brother who reached through the phone...gripped my shoulder tightly...and led me straight under the protective shelter of the nearest crag...all in the form of a single scripture...and the explanation that followed...wow...all I can literally say right now is wow…because I felt Jehovah's presence in this man's words...suddenly I felt the winds lessen...I felt Jehovah wipe away my tears...telling me that everything was going to be okay.

 

My heart hurts so much right now...even though I was comforted beyond measure...my heart hurts…because this single scripture, (and the explanation that followed)…a verse I have read so many times before...suddenly took on a whole different light for me personally...and suddenly I got a single glimpse of what the rest of you are going through...all of you who have so many more years and so much more experience in Jehovah's service than I do.

 

Please hear me...and please make no mistake...even though I am not with each of you as you are reading these words...I am still very much with you!

 

The verse?

 

2 Corinthians 4:7 "However, we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the power beyond what is normal may be God’s and not from us."

 

Please don't make fun of my ignorance...but for some reason...I have always attributed this verse to our precious elders...and while it may still apply to them...the research material for this verse actually paints a very different picture...and that is what this dear brother shared with me!

 

This dear elder asked me what I noticed in this verse that could apply to myself. After my initial moment of blank thought...I finally said something about nhow I guess Jehovah could consider us as being precious?

 

He said yes...but why??

 

I didn't know...my heart was still hurting...and then he proceeded to explain:

 

Jehovah has never pretended...(nor does he ask us to pretend)…that we are somehow "invulnerable".

 

He, more than anyone else who has ever existed...fully understands that we are fragile, imperfect, chipped...dented...need I go on??

 

But...and this is a massive "but", my dear brothers and sisters...BUT what's INSIDE US…what's inside us is something so precious, something so integral to human survival...that he simply cannot allow it to go to waste.

 

What is it?

 

It's treasure...it's the truth!

 

Think of the contrast of this...something so absolutely perfect...is contained within people that are so imperfect...so broken...that it begins to beg the question...how long can they contain it before...as ALL earthenware vessels do...they completely break down and become utterly useless?

 

This dear brother asked me if I truly saw how amazing this really was: Jehovah put something so precious in beings that were so vulnerable...what does that say about what he sees in me...in US??

 

He ended by saying that Jehovah could have chosen angels to give this life saving message to all humankind...and then he asked me the following question: If you had to guess, what kind of vessel would the angels be...compared to humans?

 

Silver? Gold? Diamond??

 

No matter what kind of vessel they might be...Jehovah prefers clay vessels!!

 

But...WHY???

 

Why would Jehovah prefer clay vessels...mere imperfect stupid humans who so often want to give in...to simply give up...over perfect spirit beings who could do the job SOOOO much better than you or I?

 

This is what the brother said: "Because Tim...when simple clay holds up under pressure and STILL delivers the one message that can save lives...absolutely NO ONE can ever say that it's beyond Jehovah's power to use ANYONE...no matter how broken they may THINK they are!"

 

My friends...please never allow anyone to tell you that you are worthless...because the creator of the universe sees fit to use you and I...simple plain earthenware vessels...to spread the most important message in human history!

 

Yes…we're broken...yes...we're worn out...but Jehovah's help...we will hold together...even if it is...just for one more day!

[dljbsp]

Thank you for letting us sit beside you in that moment. You helped me feel seen—and reminded me why we keep going, even when everything hurts.

[Ahuvah]

I just want to say, if you don't get many answers, it's because maybe we digesting this, or simply in my case I don't have the right words. I so appreciate not only your time to type this out, but your journey and your discovery. These are special moments that one will store in their hearts forever. May you have many more, and may you endure, not just with tears (they are precious to Jehovah), but also with smiles and comfort as you see Jehovahs hand on your behalf.  I'm am sure you are going to make it,

[Dolce vita]

Thank you, Amanda @Ahuvah, for saying it so simply and so accurately. Some posts do indeed leave us speechless, but they move within us and go straight to our hearts, filling them with deep brotherly love and faith, too. Thank you very much, Brother @Timl1980

[franceml]

It´s interesting ... many of us are connected by the same thought, the same spirit. When I got up this morning I meditate in how Jehovah sees us, how well He knows about our imperfection (He remembers we are just dust) but He knows as well we can cope with difficulties and the raison is simple: He made us. He put inside us the strength we need in any situation we may face. He did His job it is up to us to use the treasure He put into us. Come, let ´s go, all do our part with the willpower we have - and where ours falls short, Jehovah´s strength carries us through. 

 

Don’t Give Up

(attributed to Mario Benedetti)

 

Don’t give up, you still have time

to reach out and start anew,

accept your shadows,

bury your fears,

free your burdens,

fly again.

 

Don’t give up because life is that—

continuing the journey,

chasing your dreams,

unbinding time,

running through the ruins,

and uncovering the sky.

 

Don’t give up, please don’t give way,

even if the cold burns,

even if fear bites,

even if the sun hides,

and the wind is silent.

 

There is still fire in your soul,

there is still life in your dreams.

Because every day is a new beginning,

because this is the time and the best moment,

because you are not alone—

because He loves you. 

[Timl1980]

A big thank you to everyone who has left comments so far. 

 

To be honest, I didn't expect nor do I ever expect a lot of comments on any of my posts, I'm just grateful that I have an outlet like this to express what's going on in my own head and in my own heart. 

 

And I just wanted to clarify that I don't always feel this way, usually I'm more upbeat and able to handle things. But sometimes, my own faulty thinking and my own inner sense of fear brings things like this bubbling to the surface...and when that happens, I sit down and get my thoughts out...either on paper or on here. 

 

Also, to be very upfront, I'm also channeling the feelings and thoughts of someone very close to me...it's never easy to hear someone you love and care about express sentiments like these...but sometimes honesty can be brutal, and sometimes even those who seem the strongest among Us might be feeling similar to what I've expressed even if they would never utter the words out loud. 

 

I find that there is a certain sense of relief in getting all of this out in the open, no matter how uncomfortable it may be to hear it or to think about it. 

 

We are so very close to the end and we never know, truly know, what our brothers and sisters maybe thinking or feeling underneath the surface.

 

While it may not be to this extreme, I was certain that nearly everyone on this site has experienced thoughts or feelings that could connect to this post...and seeing as how some people would never be able to summon the courage to speak these ideas out loud, I thought I would express freely how sometimes my own anxieties and fears cause reactions like those I expressed. 

 

The truth is, we all need each other. The truth is, we all depend on each other...whether we actually know each other in real life or not. The more interconnected we are, the more enmeshed and entangled spiritually that we become...the higher chance we all have of being together on the other side of this system. 

 

This is why, from time to time, I go back and review the talk entitled, the plague of your heart. Each of us knows where we are vulnerable, each of us is fully aware of the areas in which we fall short in our service to Jehovah. 

 

Instead of attempting to gloss over such things, we should use them not only as building blocks instead of stumbling stones, but also as genuine encouragement...because if Jehovah can see all of our errors and all the cracks and blemishes that are threatening break us apart each day, then we should be able to recognize that it is only by his holy spirit, his mercy and his love that we are still being held together. 

 

Again, thank you for the comments...and may Jehovah continue to bless each of you.

Edited Thursday at 01:35 PM by Timl1980

[computerwiz]

THE CRACKED POT

 

 

A water bearer in India had two large pots hung on each end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master's house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

 

For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots of water to his master's house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of it's accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of it's own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do. After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream.

 

"I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you." "Why?" asked the bearer. “What are you ashamed of?" "I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master's house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts", the pot said. The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the master's house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path."

 

Indeed as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the end of the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad, because it had leaked out half it's load, and so again it apologized to the bearer for it's failure.

 

The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side? That is because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them. For two years, I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my Master's table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house." Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots. But if we will allow it, the Lord will use our flaws to grace His Father's table. In God's great economy, nothing goes to waste.

 

So, as we seek ways to minister together, and as God calls you to the tasks he has appointed for you, don't be afraid of your flaws. Acknowledge them, and allow Him to take advantage of them, and you too, can be the cause of beauty in His pathway. Go out boldly, knowing that in our weakness, we find His strength, and that “In him, every one of God's promises is a “Yes.””

 

 

 

Spoiler

 

 

^^^ my terrible attempt at drawing this illustration.    But I think it fits quite nicely with your scripture & situation.

 

And believe me @Timl1980 when I say you have certainly watered a lot of "plants" around here.  And you are very much loved & appreciated!  

 

[Roxessence]

Quote

16 hours ago, Timl1980 said:

This dear brother asked me if I truly saw how amazing this really was: Jehovah put something so precious in beings that were so vulnerable...what does that say about what he sees in me...in US??

 

He ended by saying that Jehovah could have chosen angels to give this life saving message to all humankind...and then he asked me the following question: If you had to guess, what kind of vessel would the angels be...compared to humans?

 

Silver? Gold? Diamond??

 

No matter what kind of vessel they might be...Jehovah prefers clay vessels!!

 

But...WHY???

 

Why would Jehovah prefer clay vessels...mere imperfect stupid humans who so often want to give in...to simply give up...over perfect spirit beings who could do the job SOOOO much better than you or I?

 

This is what the brother said: "Because Tim...when simple clay holds up under pressure and STILL delivers the one message that can save lives...absolutely NO ONE can ever say that it's beyond Jehovah's power to use ANYONE...no matter how broken they may THINK they are!"

 

My friends...please never allow anyone to tell you that you are worthless...because the creator of the universe sees fit to use you and I...simple plain earthenware vessels...to spread the most important message in human history!

 

Yes…we're broken...yes...we're worn out...but Jehovah's help...we will hold together...even if it is...just for one more day!

 

Dear Brother Tim, your original post here shook me to my depths & I was left without any words to respond.  Seeing my own thoughts voiced so eloquently by your hand brought home the Truth of Jehovah's wisdom in creation...He built within us all a basic connection of recognition & understanding that our imperfection attempts to mask.   Your words, so beautifully expressed, rekindled that awareness & I thank Jehovah for helping you formulate those thoughts.

Yesterday marked one year since my husband passed away & try as I might, I couldn't avoid or ignore that shadow.  I'm Positive of his reality in Jehovah's memory, even as unrighteous as he was, but the heart hurt continues to echo.   To know, without a doubt, that Jehovah SEES thru these "imperfect stupid" clay vessels & still loves the good that we're capable of is such refreshment to the soul.

I hope to never forget our potential - now & into forever!

 

[Abigail]

17 hours ago, Timl1980 said:

I am so broken.

 

There...that's it...I said it😔

 

Some days I wake up and literally just want to shut my eyes and fall back to sleep...waking up ONLY on the other side.

 

I don't want to be here anymore...it's just too hard...it's just too much.

 

I am so tired…I'm so worn out...my body is beginning to hurt in ways that I know are only going to get worse...can't Jehovah see that I've had enough already??

 

Why is he allowing me to go through all of this? What did I ever do to him?? Why can't I just stop "feeling"? Why make me go through this...day after day...hour after hour...minute by minute? What purpose does it serve making me cry...every single day? 

 

I get it...Satan sucks...sin SUCKS…but please...I'm begging you...just...leave...me...alone!!

 

And yet...here I sit...day after day....struggling to carry on...even if it's literally just for one more day...one more hour...please Jehovah, just let me make it one more minute!!

 

The tears flow...the prayers ascend...and yet here I sit...STILL going through the same things...why?

 

I received my answer...and once again...as always seems to be the case with myself...it came from the lips of a loving shepherd...a brother who reached through the phone...gripped my shoulder tightly...and led me straight under the protective shelter of the nearest crag...all in the form of a single scripture...and the explanation that followed...wow...all I can literally say right now is wow…because I felt Jehovah's presence in this man's words...suddenly I felt the winds lessen...I felt Jehovah wipe away my tears...telling me that everything was going to be okay.

 

My heart hurts so much right now...even though I was comforted beyond measure...my heart hurts…because this single scripture, (and the explanation that followed)…a verse I have read so many times before...suddenly took on a whole different light for me personally...and suddenly I got a single glimpse of what the rest of you are going through...all of you who have so many more years and so much more experience in Jehovah's service than I do.

 

Please hear me...and please make no mistake...even though I am not with each of you as you are reading these words...I am still very much with you!

 

The verse?

 

2 Corinthians 4:7 "However, we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the power beyond what is normal may be God’s and not from us."

 

Please don't make fun of my ignorance...but for some reason...I have always attributed this verse to our precious elders...and while it may still apply to them...the research material for this verse actually paints a very different picture...and that is what this dear brother shared with me!

 

This dear elder asked me what I noticed in this verse that could apply to myself. After my initial moment of blank thought...I finally said something about nhow I guess Jehovah could consider us as being precious?

 

He said yes...but why??

 

I didn't know...my heart was still hurting...and then he proceeded to explain:

 

Jehovah has never pretended...(nor does he ask us to pretend)…that we are somehow "invulnerable".

 

He, more than anyone else who has ever existed...fully understands that we are fragile, imperfect, chipped...dented...need I go on??

 

But...and this is a massive "but", my dear brothers and sisters...BUT what's INSIDE US…what's inside us is something so precious, something so integral to human survival...that he simply cannot allow it to go to waste.

 

What is it?

 

It's treasure...it's the truth!

 

Think of the contrast of this...something so absolutely perfect...is contained within people that are so imperfect...so broken...that it begins to beg the question...how long can they contain it before...as ALL earthenware vessels do...they completely break down and become utterly useless?

 

This dear brother asked me if I truly saw how amazing this really was: Jehovah put something so precious in beings that were so vulnerable...what does that say about what he sees in me...in US??

 

He ended by saying that Jehovah could have chosen angels to give this life saving message to all humankind...and then he asked me the following question: If you had to guess, what kind of vessel would the angels be...compared to humans?

 

Silver? Gold? Diamond??

 

No matter what kind of vessel they might be...Jehovah prefers clay vessels!!

 

But...WHY???

 

Why would Jehovah prefer clay vessels...mere imperfect stupid humans who so often want to give in...to simply give up...over perfect spirit beings who could do the job SOOOO much better than you or I?

 

This is what the brother said: "Because Tim...when simple clay holds up under pressure and STILL delivers the one message that can save lives...absolutely NO ONE can ever say that it's beyond Jehovah's power to use ANYONE...no matter how broken they may THINK they are!"

 

My friends...please never allow anyone to tell you that you are worthless...because the creator of the universe sees fit to use you and I...simple plain earthenware vessels...to spread the most important message in human history!

 

Yes…we're broken...yes...we're worn out...but Jehovah's help...we will hold together...even if it is...just for one more day!

 

Do you think we will always be earthen? Perfect but still clay? 

[Timl1980]

1 minute ago, Abigail said:

Do you think we will always be earthen? Perfect but still clay? 

Excellent question, seeing as how our original composition wouldn't change, (made from the earth), I would think yes. But we won't have any cracks, that's for sure!

[Abigail]

This post ties in beautifully with the final talk on Friday from the convention. What does Jesus see in you?

[Ahuvah]

3 hours ago, Timl1980 said:

To be honest, I didn't expect nor do I ever expect a lot of comments on any of my posts, I'm just grateful that I have an outlet like this to express what's going on in my own head and in my own heart. 

Here,is why you will make it. Jehovah absolutely loves humble people. ❤️ 💙 💜 

[Ahuvah]

13 minutes ago, Abigail said:

 

Do you think we will always be earthen? Perfect but still clay? 

The cracked pot illustration above is your answer, at least in line with the knowledge we have now. We are earthen now, but with cracks and stones, makes us functional via holy spirit,  but in the new world we will be the finest clay.

[Timl1980]

3 hours ago, Roxessence said:

Dear Brother Tim, your original post here shook me to my depths & I was left without any words to respond.  Seeing my own thoughts voiced so eloquently by your hand brought home the Truth of Jehovah's wisdom in creation...He built within us all a basic connection of recognition & understanding that our imperfection attempts to mask.   Your words, so beautifully expressed, rekindled that awareness & I thank Jehovah for helping you formulate those thoughts.

 

Thank you very much for your kind words, if it wasn't for that elder answering my phone call and taking the time to listen and then to help where help was needed, I would not have been able to come up with anything that encouraging to say. 

 

The brothers who have been kind enough to take my phone calls almost at any given time when I need to speak have helped me in more ways than I can count, and the amount of times that they have taken my thoughts and rearranged them into some semblance of coherence encourages me greatly and lets me know that Jehovah really is listening and that he does care and that he will help in many different ways, some that we might never expect. 

 

My goal of posting yesterday was simply to share my own personal thoughts and then his encouragement, and it makes me very happy that I have managed to encourage others with what he took the time and effort to share with me. 

 

I'm very sorry about the loss of your husband, I can only Imagine the nagging hurt and pain that won't let go of your heart, but rest assured that Jehovah sees it too and sometimes we all get help in very unexpected ways. 

 

The sheer amount of brothers and sisters that I see across the state because of my job lets me know that we have to be very close to the end, because the vast majority of them are only holding themselves together through prayers and pills. 

 

While I say that partly in jest, it's also sadly partially true. I see the strain on their faces and hear the worry in their voices, usually it's worry for someone else, not even themselves. And often, that kind of worry can't even be harsher on a person's system simply because there is often very little we can do to stop another's pain.

 

But, we can be there for each other, we can commiserate with one another, and we can pray for one another...powerful ways to show our Christian love and an excellent way to move Jehovah into action on their behalf!

 

So my prayers are with all of you...and whoever reads this just know Jehovah has found you precious enough to carry his words to others, even though we are damaged and cracked and feel like we're falling apart!