The Conversation I Walked Away From

[Timl1980]

I knew it was about to happen...I could feel it coming. I had been standing out in the parking lot of the Hall, my eyes darting nervously back and forth between them. I could feel it building...they had disagreed inside the Hall already...and here they were...back at it again. And suddenly...the dam burst and a flood of emotion spilled out from both of their mouths...angry disbelief written plainly across both of their faces as they both loudly and insistently expressed their opinion.

 

Unbelievably, friends...the conversation revolved around our current President and his current war in Iran...along with a load of other issues regarding the current administration. I had already walked away from the earlier conversation inside the Hall...and here I was again, standing awkwardly off to one side as one brother demanded that the other Brother tell him one single thing that the current President has done that is illegal. (That left the other brother standing in dumbfounded silence...looking at me as if expecting me to jump in.)

 

I sighed, wished them both a good afternoon...and walked away...returning to my car and driving home in a state of saddened silence.

 

Is that the end of the story? Of course not...you know me by now!! (I will now use this as an excuse to waffle on for at least 8 more paragraphs!😅)

 

No...in all seriousness though...those two brothers quickly made up and apologized to each other...BEFORE they left the parking lot. I'm proud of both of them...since that incident...they have both also apologized to me for getting me involved...and have even strived hard to change their thinking to a more neutral stance...from BOTH sides.

 

But this incident has made me very uncomfortable...not because of them...but because, at times during these conversations...I felt my inner head shaking or nodding in various stages of agreement or disagreement.

 

*Sigh*

 

Well, while I may have walked away from the conversation in the parking lot…the truth is...I didn’t walk away from the conversation it started inside myself.

 

As I drove home, I found myself replaying what was said. No, not to argue back...but to sort it all out in my own head.

To decide who made sense...to decide where I "stood". (How stupid does that sound now, looking back on it) 

 

As I drove...my mind replayed their words and began intermingling with all of my own observations from the news...from Google...from any other source I could remember. This time I didn't pull over and call someone...this time I just sat with my thoughts and let them marinate as I drove. It wasn't until after I returned home that I finally went into our computer room, sat down, slid my earbuds into my ears, turned on some 80's Synthwave music...and dived headfirst into some personal research...emerging three hours later tired yet deeply encouraged.

 

You see...I ended up performing an in depth study of Matthew 24 and Luke 21...reminding myself of just how close we are to the end of this old system. It wasn't until I hit on one particular verse, however, that I began to feel my heart grow lighter.

 

The verse? 

 

Luke 21:34: "34 “But pay attention to yourselves that your hearts never become weighed down with overeating and heavy drinking and anxieties of life, and suddenly that day be instantly upon you"

 

How crazy is it that in the context of telling his disciples about the last days...Jesus didn't warn them, (and us), that we would be "confused"  by all the wars and these other signs occurring all around us, nor did he tell us that we would have it all "figured out"...no, but he DID warn us that anxiety would weigh down our hearts, IF we weren't careful!!

 

Suddenly a very stupid question started popped up out of nowhere and started swirling around in my own head: If Jesus warned me about being weighed down, why on earth was I allowing this conversation to sit so heavily inside me?

 

The truth is: Staying alert…doesn't equal staying "stirred up" inside my own head.

 

Shutting off my computer...I moved to join my wife on the couch while shaking my head and gently laughing at myself...because sometimes, the most faithful thing  I can do...is walk away from the conversation happening in my own head.