The most rewarding experience of my life

[RaymondG]

I've  got a few years up now, certainly enough to have some great experiences...

 

I've been married to a wonderful woman, endured the struggles that such relationships bring, learned the patience necessary to deal with them and then had the heartache of losing that life partner. Not what you would experience in the new system, but an indelible part of this one.

 

Many things have come my way subsequently, but nothing can match what has happened to me as a result of making contact with one of the members here. During the course of a phone conversation she said to me, "It's 20 years today since my mom died." Well, I guess I had to react in some way to that, and as I knew her father had died when she was just a kid I replied, "So you're an orphan then?"

 

"Yeah, I'm an orphan. Will you adopt me?"

 

Neither of us were to know just how involving this would be, how much it would mean to us and to others. Well, I did say it was rewarding, the 'most rewarding' in fact. Would you like me to continue this story?

[Tortuga]

Welcome back.

[RaymondG]

Thank you for that...

 

It really took another eight years for the experience to become 'rewarding' in the way the heading suggests. But between us we worked out a nice plan for an adoption to fit into my itinerary as I got near the end of my 2016 trip to the US and Europe.

 

Ang made all the arrangements and in our discussions we decided to include her older sister in it too. After all, she was also an orphan. Then Leslie's story about the loss of her dad meant she also qualified for adoption, while a younger sister, Summer, who was close to Ang at the time and who was unable to walk unaided had no father in her life. My family was really growing here!

 

But it still was only a half-serious arrangement. We all had our separate lives and although we put on a ceremony and there were many guests who signed the certificates Ang had printed up as witnesses to the event, there may have been nothing more than occasional contact when that July 4 afternoon was over.

 

It was a fun event...

 

 

[RaymondG]

Insert

 

Summer wasn't there for the party, but Shelly, Leslie and Ang were and Kayla - who's been a daughter to Shelly almost all of her life - got added in too.

 

Leslie had to leave a little early and I had to go off and give Summer her certificate before I left town. Leslie phoned me as I drove down the highway and I wouid never have expected that the seven years before I recontacted her would wreak the havoc on her that it did.

 

But, in fact, all of 'my' girls would need me in some way before I saw them again and the adoptions would take on a new and greater meaning than we ever anticipated. 

 

But before all of that could take place a near total communication blackout imposed by my new wife had to be overcome.

[RaymondG]

And so we move forward from 2016...

 

In 2022 my wife left me and I started recontacting the girls. One by one over a few months I phoned to re-establish our relationships and learned that some of them were facing difficult times.

 

Summer, who had always lived with her mother, suffered the loss of her mom. This meant she had to learn a lot of independence and find somewhere else to live, ultimately moving in with the family of her carer.

 

Ang had some serious medical issues to deal with and along with Shelly decided that they needed to help out their sister, Lorie, by moving her across from Nebraska where there was nobody to support her.

 

Lorie, who was to become another of my adoptees when I next visited.

 

As time moved on there was a major shake-up in Shelly's life and she was forced to make some important decisions, I was glad I was able to give her some moral support via phone calls. She and Ang were stressed enough dealing with Lorie's problems, many prayers were shared.

 

And I felt I had to find out if Leslie wanted me to be in touch too. And what a time it was in her life!

 

I sent a text message, she messaged back that I should phone her, then she unloaded all the sad details of what was happening in her life... it was about the same time as she was expressing her pain in this thread: 

 

It seems that when I called Leslie was sitting looking at the adoption certificate and wondering if she would ever hear from me again. She had it on a shelf with the other important things she had. The urn with her husband's ashes among them...

 

 

...and she had written alongside of this picture in a Facebook post how much my support for her on this forum meant. 

 

Just how is a man supposed to feel when he learns that for years this certificate had pride of place and that she hoped to hear from me again?

 

By the way, the final part of the certificate reads: "This certificate shall remain in force up to and including the moment of the resurrection of both parents of the adopted child."

 

All of this was stirring in me. These girls were looking upon me as was intended, as their father, it was no longer as it began - a light-hearted arrangement. It was becoming, I guess, like finding a long lost natural child. I had to start making plans for my next trip to America. 

 

But first I had to make contact once again with Summer...

 

Edited 4 hours ago by RaymondG