I need your advice

[Lori]

Sorry I haven't posted lately. 

 

My estranged daughter is pregnant and moving in the same building as me.   Five apartments down.  

Her dad is my ex husband who was very abusive when we were married.  (Non JW)  

My estranged daughter calls me Lori, not mom.    

I can't handle living by her because my abusive ex husband will be visiting here.    I'm so afraid of what he will do. 

I emailed the landlord about the situation. 

 

We've had applications for housing in other cities since January 2025 with no openings.   

 

 

[Lance]

Well if he gets violent or abusive phone the police and get a restraining order.

If you can move.. move .. let your congregation know you are looking for alternative housing.

Also be peaceable with everyone as far as depends on you…,

[Nnaemeka]

Shrewd is the one who foresees a potentially dangerous situation and conceals herself. 

[Ishaya]

Im getting the idea that you have probably been hiding from your ex-husband,it's really a difficult situation to be in my sister.but for how long can you really keep hiding from him.you need to have your freedom.

 

I think the best thing would be to get a restraining order from the court,but that should only be if he tries to cause trouble for you.

 

About your estranged daughter calling you by your name instead of Mom,I think I'm abit  confused why it worries you, here in Africa we get the idea that its normal in Western culture for children to call their parents by their first name,is this practice changing?

[Ishaya]

4 hours ago, Lance said:

 

Also be peaceable with everyone as far as depends on you…,

 

I will like to reinforce this approach.

 

I'm sure that apart from the worry about your ex-husband finding you out,there is also the concern about you always encountering your daughter and her father,you probably don't like that experience,

but instead of trying to avoid them completely why not try to see if you can be more peaceable and friendly with them when you encounter them.

Im not sure how you feel about your estranged daughter but she is still your child even if you don't approve of her way of life,the father of the prodigal son never gave up on him,that is Jehovah's approach of things.

 

Please make yourself available to your daughter,and let her know that she still has a place in your heart as her mother.

[LeslieDean]

Landlord follow-up — a written record matters a lot here. If you have not already,  ask for a written response to conversation, not just a verbal answer, in case you need it later.
Documentation of the abuse — if there's any history (police reports, a past protective order, anything), now's the time to gather it. If there's no protective order and the fear is well-founded, this might be worth looking into, especially since he'll be a regular presence in the building.
Elders/congregation support — since she's a sister, this could be something she'd want to loop in an elder on, both for practical support and for spiritual encouragement through it. Sounds like you might already be one of the people she's leaning on.
The pregnancy angle — worth remembering this is also just a lot for her emotionally: an estranged daughter, a strained relationship (being called "Lori" instead of "Mom" says a lot), and now proximity to an abusive ex all landing at once. She may need as much emotional support as practical help right now.

Does the building have any policies in effect that may help you re first established residency and ones seeking accomodations if a history of problems exist? 

 

I asked chatgpt to see what guidelines it may have and above is what it spit out 

Edited 56 minutes ago by LeslieDean