I've Tried And I've TRIED...But I Keep Coming Up Empty!

[Timl1980]

Why do I keep trying?

 

Over and over again, I keep beating myself up with this question. No matter how many different ways I try to work things out, I always keep coming back to the same conclusion: there simply are no answers.

 

Recently I bought a package of very strong magnets for my eBay business, using them to hold posters and pictures open so I can take pictures of them without the posters rolling back up on themselves.

 

Yesterday afternoon I sat at my desk, idly playing with two of the magnets. Placed far enough apart, they are simply two small circular pieces of metal...tiny and insignificant...but as soon as I begin to creep one of them a few inches toward the other...the laws of physics take over and instantly they snap together, sometimes with such force that it actually stings my fingers.

 

The amount of work that it takes to force those two tiny magnets apart is unreal, it almost feels like they're glued together.

 

And I guess that's a fitting metaphor for how I feel about my wife.

 

Apart, we're just two tiny insignificant specks...both of us lost and alone...fighting against forces that neither one of us truly understand or fully comprehend.

 

But the other day we were able to have our first real conversation in several months...and during that magical hour and 40 minute conversation...I remembered WHY I had chosen this woman to be my wife.

 

It took a few minutes for the conversation to really start to flow...but once we hit our groove...we snapped together in a way that only two of Jehovah's servants who have that threefold cord ever COULD.

 

We were both exhausted: mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually...we were both worn out.

 

And yet, as soon as the "comfortableness" took over...we started to laugh and joke a little, the conversation grew and blossomed right in front of our eyes until suddenly it BECAME something else...something that neither one of us had expected.

 

It became our comfort...and it was almost as if I could feel Jehovah's presence settle in...bridging the gap of all those miles between us...like two magnets snapping together...like two sparks combining to become a raging fire.

 

The conversation dipped and darted...disappearing around corners only to peek back out at us and suddenly come roaring back into the room.

 

It felt nostalgic in a way...like slipping into that old comfortable pair of slippers that look beat up and worn out...but feel incredibly warm and soft as soon as they touch your feet.

 

The conversation was a beautiful thing, but eventually it came to an end. We said our goodbyes and hung up...two tiny insignificant pieces cruelly being ripped apart once again.

 

That was Saturday evening...and early Sunday morning I was sitting at my desk at 4 am...my steaming mug of Maxwell House coffee nearly gone...engulfed by the soft glow of my computer screen as my personal research project sat staring glumly back at me...when suddenly a few familiar words reached out from the paragraph I was reading and hooked me instantly, although not for the reason I was expecting.

 

Grasping the mouse, I started clicking on various scriptures, growing more and more attentive as an idea sprouted inside my head and began to take shape.

 

Throwing caution to the wind, I opened up to the chapter of the Bible that I had been perusing and just simply started to read from verse 1...my memories of the account forming in real time in my head as the words danced off the page and started swirling around inside my brain.

 

Finishing the chapter, I started opening up multiple tabs in my browser, pulling up article after article about the person, the place, the time, and the words that had originally captivated my mind.

 

Another 30 minutes later found me pulling out my private notes regarding the account...and yet over and over again I kept coming back to a point I had never seen, something I had never noticed before...something that somehow changed the landscape of this entire account in my brain...yet AGAIN!!

 

First, please allow me to share the verse that ALL of us know, the verse that will more than likely have every single one of us punching the air in utter joy and excitement...and anticipation:

 

2 Chronicles 20:17: "You will not need to fight this battle. Take your position, stand still, and see the salvation of Jehovah in your behalf. O Judah and Jerusalem, do not be afraid or be terrified. Tomorrow go out against them, and Jehovah will be with you."

 

How well we know this account...how many times has this verse stirred our hearts and minds because we KNOW what is coming...we KNOW what Jehovah will soon do.

 

But what did it take for Jehoshaphat to hear these words from Jehovah? What did he have to do FIRST?

 

That's the part I hadn't noticed...that's the part which had escaped my attention until now.

 

To find out, please join me in rewinding a few verses back to:

 

2 Chronicles 20:12: "O our God, will you not execute judgment on them? For we are powerless before this large crowd that is coming against us; and we do not know what we should do, but our eyes are toward you."

 

LOOK at that phrase: "WE DO NOT KNOW WHAT WE SHOULD DO."

 

Jehoshaphat didn't whisper that in a private prayer. He said it in front of the entire nation. He stood there...a king, a commander, a man surrounded by seasoned fighters...and he openly admitted that he had dug deep inside himself...and found absolutely nothing!! No strategy...no instinct...no courage...no big final plan. 

 

Just...emptiness!!

 

And that’s the part that really hit home with me. Because it was only after he said that...only after he stopped pretending he had answers, (or that he could find them)...that Jehovah stepped in. Only then did Jehovah say, “Don’t worry about this. Just stand still, keep your head up, and watch what I do.”

 

So I guess the whole reason I made this post was simply to say that I surrender...that I am going to do my best from here on out to STOP looking for answers, for solutions...because there might not BE any in this system.

 

And maybe if I say it loudly enough...maybe if I say it publicly enough...maybe Jehovah will be moved to do something for us in the short amount of time we have left in this system of things.

 

But even if he doesn't...I'm striving hard to be okay with that...because I know it won't be long until Jehovah says those words for all of us...and THAT'S when my wife and I will finally be united again...only this time NOTHING will be able to pry us apart ever again.

 

[DLJBSP]

Sometimes the greatest act of faith isn't finding the answer—it's trusting Jehovah when there isn't one. -- Ps 55:22 - "NEVER fall."

YB

Edited September 9 by DLJBSP

[former_member_n]

Judas trusted in Jehovah but when it came time to prove it, he chose selfishness and materialism. 

Same with King Saul, and Hymenaeus too with Alexander his colleague.

Jesus put trust in Jehovah and when it was time to prove it he took it in faith believing that even if he died Jehovah never lies.

The widow of Zarephath put trust in Jehovah that she was ready to brave hunger since Jehovah cannot lie.

Be the latter and not the former. How?

By making sure that Joy, that comfortableness is not a one off affair. Jehovah has given you everything you need to be consistent and rebuild your family.

Will you grab it?

That's when you will really determine if you really trusted.

See, the trials will come. What caused the separation will come again. It's like a parasite feeding on your family happiness. You are the one, you and sister, that will defeat it. Together. With Jehovah. Are you ready? The decisions you make, that statement that caused the separation, the angst, stress, they will come back. When both of you take the decision to make Jehovah win, then you don't have to do anything else.

The organization, the Holy Spirit, the Bible, the elders, the brotherhood and even the angels they want your family to win. See how much help you have. 

When you and sister make use of this help you don't need to do anything else. Like Jehoshaphat, just stand still and see Jehovah in action. 

But you should be ready to prove your trust. That's your only contribution. We are all cheering you happy you both want to begin the process. Please don't stop and never give up.

[Miss Bea]

My brother, you are priceless. Thank you for allowing us to be a part of your angst. We love you, and your dear wife all the more. We need updates. They remind me to go to Jehovah, and have a heart to heart, reminding Jehovah how much we love the both of you! And ask him to continue to care for the both of you…

Edited September 9 by Miss Bea

[Beggar for the Spirit]

Quote

...and during that magical hour and 40 minute conversation...I remembered WHY I had chosen this woman to be my wife.

 

Hi Tim, 

As I read your post, I thought of the many accounts/stories we have read about in the Bible or heard about in our modern day concerning various brothers/sisters going through very difficult trials.  And it seems that some or many of them were able to find something "good" in the disaster that had impacted their life.

 

So is there any "good" that can be found for you in this disaster?

 

Yes it seems so!

Look at your words above in bold!

 

There are a number of married couples today, who are living together, who have not been torn part like you and your wife.  Yet, while you would give anything to be able to bring your wife back home, there are some who take their wife or spouse for granted.

Why? 

 

Because they see each other everyday, so they may take their spouse for granted.

All that some see in their spouse now is their everyday mistakes and flaws . 

And so as a sad result, some have even become sort of "tired" of their spouse.  

 

But look at you!

Do your expressions above show a deeper warmth and strong yearning for your wife?

 

Do your expressions show how you "see" more of your wife's wonderful qualities like you did when you first married her compared to those who are now tired of their spouse?

We would never want a tragedy or disaster to strike any couple.

But if a husband or wife who is inside such a "Tornado"  like you, is now able to see their spouse in a much better light and to have their flame of love ignited even hotter, then to me, now you have found at least something "good" in this disaster 

Edited September 9 by Beggar for the Spirit

[Timl1980]

2 minutes ago, Beggar for the Spirit said:

So is there any "good" that can be found for you in this disaster?

 

Yes it seems so!

Look at your words above in bold!

 

 

Very true, I thought of that myself after re reading my post. It's very true that sometimes we take our spouses for granted, but it's also true that absence makes the heart grow fonder!! 

 

But everything else being said, I would still prefer her being over here. I'm just trying to see the positive in this situation, and you're right...I am finding blessings in this. I just keep praying to Jehovah for the strength to keep going each day.

[former_member_n]

When the reunion comes, as it's approaching, invite us through zoom, for the brethren that are distant so we can share in your joy 😹 😹 😹