Parenting

[surfergirl]

I am a little soft perhaps when it comes to parenting, I find it hard to be a stronger person when it comes to disciplining the kids. I think its a little to how I was raised. Don;t get me wrong My parents were awesome. But when it comes to being more on the tougher side, I find it not that easy. I love my kids totally & I do what I can to follow the principles in the bible & also the mags. I was wanting to know without becoming over bearing. How any parents here found they had to toughen up?

thus gaining respect from kids. & keeping the peace with them. I totally am into having a warm loving & secure environment for them, I have been told I am too soft.

Thanks for any Ideas.

[GrumpysWife]

Parenting is an awesome responsibility. How other people view our children, good or bad, depends on how we accept that responsibility. If we don't teach them to behave, especially when in public, they will carry a tag of "brat", and no one will want to be around them. If we expect them to behave in public, then we have to discipline them when they act up.

[Joey]

I am a big softy with my son,so guess who he runs to for everything...I had to toughen up because I do love him and it's not good to give in to all your kids wants....like if they wanted to eat chocolate bars all the time,you going to let them? No,it is unhealthy.Well moms need to have 'law' to...remember the scriptures say "...do not forsake the law of your mother."

You need to set them and stick to them ....lay down the 'law' so to speak.

Some good laws for moms to set involve cleanliness.....baths,brushing teeth,picking up after themselves,having only one toy out at a time....then assigning little chores...clearing the table,then helping with dishes,then mowing the lawn....thats our sons big chore now he mows and trims,boy am I glad.He doesn't even complain...and I never have to tell him.He just does it.

I never ever yell at him,I hate yelling.....he knows I am serious if I say his entire name very slowly....no need to yell...sometimes I look at him and he says."Sorry."...haha,no yelling. His dad is extremely loud and passionate about everything...very vocal.Sam and I are very quiet...excessively.Our house is very very quiet until my husband gets home...lol....then it's all this yelling and banging around.Thats why I am up at 4 am every morning because he makes so much noise,turns on all the lights and wakes me up when he's getting ready for work.So I have been up since 4.

I am so happy Sam's like me.

[surfergirl]

He sounds like my Hubby. Lol. Thanks for the advice Sisters. I got to get tough, I don't like yelling. I like the expression Mother's Law. That's going to be my new in. I am always concerned with their behavior & what others see. XoXO

[pinkpopcorn]

Remember that our children are our inheritance. We must treat them appropriately and cherish them. But, they need correcting and when this takes place we must recall that we are their superiors. We are their mothers not their friends. Friendship is for when our kids are grown, after they themselves are older and accomplished enough to make their own personal decisions.

I have always had to be the disciplinarian while my husband watched from the sidelines. Why? My hubby does not have any parenting skills. He is much like a teenager himself. And he told me years ago that he never wanted his kids to hate him. What he was really saying is that his father was the mean guy in his life and he did not want to be thought of like that to his children. My kids loved and respected me and I loved and disciplined them! But they did not respect him. DUH!

Parents have to make hard life and death decisions. I have always felt that I need to show my children by example. I had to be hard on myself at time to show them how life is handled properly. Yes, there are times that I look back and regret that I made this or that decision. But, for the most part I am proud of the fact that I was strict when I needed to be.

One thing that helped me was this point. I said YES to my kids when there was no reason not to. There are so many times we must say NO. Saying yes when there is no real issue at stake showed that I loved my children and wanted to be yielding when I could. I see how they have raised their own children and know that my input made a difference. My kids were not brats and they are and have raised grandchildren that I am proud of. They are fine humans and that is the important thing.

[GrumpysWife]

One thing that helped me was this point. I said YES to my kids when there was no reason not to. There are so many times we must say NO. Saying yes when there is no real issue at stake showed that I loved my children and wanted to be yielding when I could. I see how they have raised their own children and know that my input made a difference. My kids were not brats and they are and have raised grandchildren that I am proud of. They are fine humans and that is the important thing.

This is just how I felt too, Chris. I was also the one to discipline and sometimes it is very hard to do, but necessary. I had my own 4 boys and then Grumpy's brothers 4 boys for a few years. We had to run a tight ship because it would have been crazy if we didn't. Whenever we went to visit, everyone would remark about how well behaved the boys all were. When they were at home there were lots of liberty's taken but they all knew when they were pushing my buttons too far. I was not a yeller either. I just expected them to behave and they usually did. And the results were the same as your's Chris. At least with my own children and grandchildren. Sad to say, none of my brother-in-law's children accepted the truth.

[DLM]

Do not scream or yell at your kids. It changes who they are because it takes away their self esteem especially if the child is very tender hearted. Remember Eph 4: 31.