Joke - Why did....

[New World Explorer]

Q: Do you know why the new football stadium they built in Warsaw could not be used?

A: No matter where you sat you were behind a Pole.

 

[pnutts]

 

Q: Do you know why the new football stadium they built in Warsaw could not be used?

A: No matter where you sat you were behind a Pole.

 

 

Groan, double (td) groan

[Pabo]

There was builder who went to a pet shop to buy himself a bird. Upon looking at the various types of birds the pet shop had to offer he noticed this big cockatoo who was who has a price of "Take me home and you'll get $500!". He asked the pet shop owner, why is this cockatoo had a cash offer also with it? The pet shop owner said that this bird is very troublesome and didn't want him in his shop anymore. The builder thought to himself, "Hey, an easy $500 and I also get a pet. What can a cockatoo do to be so troublesome?" So he decided to take the cockatoo home and he sets up the bird to sit in his office at home.

 

the following day, the builder was in his office placing orders for concrete for one of his jobs that he was doing the next day. After doing his paperwork, he leaves his office with the cockatoo left behind in the office whilst he goes out on the building site. The cockatoo opens the latch that secures the door to his cage, flies onto the desk, knocks the telephone receiver off the phone, hits the redial button and the person on the other end of the line answers the phone.

 

"Bilford Concrete, what can we do for you?" says the person on the other end of the line.

 

The cockatoo says "This is Bob Brown from Brown Constructions, I want 20 cubic meters of concrete to be delivered to 10 Smith Way Doonside tomorrow morning, and charge it to my account".

 

"20 cubic meters of concrete to 10 Smith Way Doonside tomorrow morning Bob?" repeated the person of the other side.

 

"Yes" said the cockatoo.

 

"No problem Bob, we'll see you tomorrow." and the person on the other side hangs up. The cockatoo puts the receiver back on the telephone and flies back into his cage and closes the door.

 

The next day, Bob goes out to the job at Doonside, where he receives twice as much of concrete that he ordered. He rang the concrete company on his mobile and asks him did they get his order wrong? They replied, "No, we have 2 orders for 20 cubic meters of concrete that was ordered yesterday". Bob starts getting furious and says that he only ordered one load of 20 cubic meters of concrete.  There was a bit of to and fro over the phone about what when on with the order.

 

A couple of days later, Bob orders some concrete from his home office again, and when he leaves the cockatoo leaves his cage, uses the phone and hits redial and repeats the order Bob did earlier that day. Next day, Bob when he is on the job site gets double the amount of concrete again. This happens a couple of more times and Bob thought to himself, this has only happened ever since he got that cockatoo. So he goes back to the pet shop and has words with the owner to find out what the cockatoo had done previously. The pet shop owner says that the cockatoo escapes from his cage and it uses the telephone by hitting the redial button on the phone and orders the last thing you had ordered. It had happened to him plenty of times himself, and the same too with the previous owners, hence the reason why he paid anyone to get rid of it. Now armed with this knowledge, Bob knew what he needed to do.

 

The next day, when he did his ordering from his home office, he pretended to leave the office and waited until the cockatoo did it's trick. Whilst the cockatoo was repeating Bob's last order, Bob went into his office, caught the cockatoo and using a couple of nails that he had in his tool pouch and also grabbing his hammer, nailed the cockatoo to the wall by its wings spread apart and said "Now try and get yourself out of that situation you pesky bird!". Bob redials the last number and cancels that order that was done by the cockatoo and leaves the office.

 

Now with the cockatoo being nailed to the wall, feeling sorry for itself, he notices a statue of Jesus on a cross which he had never seen before. He looks at the statue and notices Jesus with his face weary and looking down. The cockatoo then says to the statue of Jesus, "Hey mate, how long have you been hanging on that cross for?"

 

The statue of Jesus replied, "I have been hanging here on this cross for nearly 2,000 years."

 

"Stone the crows! 2,000 years!!! How many meters of concrete did you order?"

Edited November 1, 2022 by Pabo

[Tortuga]

It's interesting that we are discussing resurrection in the MWM this week. This thread is proof there are modern day resurrections. It was brought back to life after being dead for 7 years!