Talking to Boys the Way We Talk to Girls

[carlos]

On 17/6/2017 at 0:49 PM, Thesauron said:

I was visiting and elder and his young family some weeks ago. The 3 year old son suddenly comes into the living room dressed in pink high heels, lipstick, necklaces and a colourful t-shirt. We said nothing about it. It doesn't matter much. Does his parents encourage it? I doubt they're forcing the boy, they're just letting him examine what he feels he has to. The next day he'll dress up as a fireman, policeman, nurse, or doctor.

I wouldn't say anything because he's not my child, but I certainly wouldn't let my boy (if I had one) play that way. I would teach him that there's boys' clothes and girls' clothes. I find the idea of a boy dressed in girls clothes and with lipstick disgusting. The same goes for being effeminate. I don't think that's ok if there's a way to change it. I know some brothers who are very effeminate and they are not respected by the congregation.

 

So we'll have to agree to disagree on this one.

Edited June 18, 2017 by carlos

[Old]

2 minutes ago, carlos said:

I wouldn't say anything because he's not my child, but I certainly wouldn't let my boy (if I had one) play that way. I would teach him that there's boys' clothes and girls' clothes. I find the idea of a boy dressed in girls clothes and with lipstick disgusting. The same goes for being effeminate. I don't think that's ok if there's a way to change it. I know some brothers who are very effeminate and they are not respected by the congregation.

 

So we'll have to agree to disagree on this one.

 

Some times Dad has to take the lead. If dad drinks tea with an extended pinkie finger, be assured the young man will follow suit. My son potty trained very early, that is he learned use the potty. He could not stand up to pee, period.

I hadn't notice, but it bugged my Wife, she expressed her concerns, so one day I took him aside and said this is the way men do it, and proceeded to show him! His eyes bugged out of his head, but from that point on he was mucho macho. 

[tekmantwo]

On 6/17/2017 at 5:10 AM, Qapla said:

 

What does this have to do with anything? Since we all eat, we should all know how to cook - so we can feed ourselves.

 

Besides ... where did the idea that "men don't cook" come from? Most of the World's Great Chefs - are men! It has only been recently that women chefs have become noteworthy.

 

Cooking and cross-dressing have nothing to do with each other. Teaching your son to be a "girl" or teaching your daughter to be a "boy" is not consistent with Biblical admonition. 

 

If a girl wants to wear pants .... fine, but they could be girl's/women's pants not "men's" pants (there is a difference). If a boy wants to wear a dress/skirt - let them wear a "kilt".

 

Like I mentioned, I have all daughters. I taught them how to install flooring, drive a tractor and a few other "boy things". However, they also wear high heels, earrings, etc.

I have 3 daughters as well.  Nobody could possibly look at them and mistake them for a man...but I certainly did teach them certain things that could be called gender specific,  like working on cars and a few other things.  I felt that there are things that are basic to living in this world,  that everyone should know or at least have a general knowledge of. 

One thing that I repeated quite often to them was that they could do anything a man could do, and, in addition, could have babies..

I never did tell them that they couldn't do something because only boys could do it,  I wanted them to be strong independent women and that's what they are now...and I am quite proud of them. 

[Thesauron]

Some times Dad has to take the lead. If dad drinks tea with an extended pinkie finger, be assured the young man will follow suit. My son potty trained very early, that is he learned use the potty. He could not stand up to pee, period.
I hadn't notice, but it bugged my Wife, she expressed her concerns, so one day I took him aside and said this is the way men do it, and proceeded to show him! His eyes bugged out of his head, but from that point on he was mucho macho. 

Why is macho and standing up when peeping important? Many men don't.


Johan

[Thesauron]

I wouldn't say anything because he's not my child, but I certainly wouldn't let my boy (if I had one) play that way. I would teach him that there's boys' clothes and girls' clothes. I find the idea of a boy dressed in girls clothes and with lipstick disgusting. The same goes for being effeminate. I don't think that's ok if there's a way to change it. I know some brothers who are very effeminate and they are not respected by the congregation.
 
So we'll have to agree to disagree on this one.

On the other hand, plenty of fine men used by the organisation would probably be considered 'effeminate' by such standards.

The boy's father is a well respected elder. His son's exploration didn't bother him much. I'm sure that if it turned out to be a problem for the boy or based in some kind of confusion, he'd kindly help him out.


Johan

I have 3 daughters as well.  Nobody could possibly look at them and mistake them for a man...but I certainly did teach them certain things that could be called gender specific,  like working on cars and a few other things.  I felt that there are things that are basic to living in this world,  that everyone should know or at least have a general knowledge of. 
One thing that I repeated quite often to them was that they could do anything a man could do, and, in addition, could have babies..
I never did tell them that they couldn't do something because only boys could do it,  I wanted them to be strong independent women and that's what they are now...and I am quite proud of them. 

It would probably be good if more boys would hear it's ok to do things commonly considered 'girly' as well.


Johan

[Old]

31 minutes ago, Thesauron said:

On the other hand, plenty of fine men used by the organisation would probably be considered 'effeminate' by such standards.

The boy's father is a well respected elder. His son's exploration didn't bother him much. I'm sure that if it turned out to be a problem for the boy or based in some kind of confusion, he'd kindly help him out.


Johan
It would probably be good if more boys would hear it's ok to do things commonly considered 'girly' as well.


Johan

Girly things might be okay, but if you have had your grandson lean toward the girly side and then take a stand on the dark side. When you see him post on Facebook that he has found the husband he always wanted it is a little disconcerting. DFd of course. He was the most pleasant of our grandchildren

I am not saying that boys shouldn't play with dolls, but when they move into the teenage years and the problems continue it is agonizing. Where it starts I do not know, perhaps just outside the Garden? 

Many of my JW friends have experienced the same trials in their families.  Very theocratic families.