Geriatric Jokes

[Friends just call me Ross]

Resurrecting really OLD jokes...

 

For all of us baby-boomers who hate 'today's music',

some of our favorites have been re-released with new lyrics to accommodate their
aging audience:  

 

The Bee Gees - "How Can You Mend A Broken Hip"

 

Herman's Hermits - "Mrs. Brown, You've Got A Lovely Walker"
 

The Temptations - "Papa's Got a Kidney Stone"
 

Nancy Sinatra - "These Boots Aren't Made for Bunions"
 

The Beatles - "I Get By With A Little Help From Depends"
 

Marvin Gaye - "I Heard It Through The Grape Nuts"
 

The Rolling Stones - "You Can't Always Pee When You Want"
 

Paul Simon - "Fifty Ways To Lose Your Liver"
 

Roberta Flack - "The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face"
 

ABBA - "Denture Queen"
 

Leo Sayer - "You Make Me Feel Like Napping"

 

Commodores - "Once, Twice, Three Times To The Bathroom"
 

Johnny Nash - "I Can't See Clearly Now"
 

Procol Harem - "A Whiter Shade of Hair"
 

[Old]

In our house we have renamed our toilet. We call it the 'Jim' not the 'John'.

Phone rings:

"Hi there, whacha been doing?"

 "I just got back from the JIM." 

"Oh, I never go to the JIM.]. I suppose I should."

"Try it, you will feel much better."

[Pabo]

23 hours ago, Old said:

In our house we have renamed our toilet. We call it the 'Jim' not the 'John'.

Phone rings:

"Hi there, whacha been doing?"

 "I just got back from the JIM." 

"Oh, I never go to the JIM.]. I suppose I should."

"Try it, you will feel much better."

 

 

 

I usually call our toilet Mary Lou.

 

I even sing a song to the tune of Ricky Nelson's "Hello Mary Lou". But I will leave it to your imagination of what I lines I have changed to the lyrics.