When is the last time you lost your temper?

[LeslieDean]

I never knew I had a temper until I married my husband. Honestly. Had always been on a pretty even plateau but Rick can really bring it out. I feel that since becoming a witness I have improved immensely-I can still lose it but it is much more milder and less frequently. This is something I am very proud of but I am puzzled because my husband will not admit it. We spent many years in day to day combat-I always trying to control his drinking. Now I have relinquished that control and he his drinking. Peaceful times now.

[Iksplorer]

It's been a few years since I've lost my temper with someone. A neighbor came over to my house to hang out with my adult son and stole my albuterol inhaler for my asthma while she was waiting for my son to come into the room. I had used it just before she came over and I noticed that it was missing right after she walked out the door. She denied taking it at the time, which was a lie. Even though I told her that I couldn't afford to replace it because I didn't have the sixty dollars that it cost to buy another one, she still wouldn't give it back. Later she admitted to taking it to give to her mom because her mom didn't have insurance. I have really bad asthma myself and have to use my inhaler every 4-6 hours, so it really upset me that she took my inhaler to give to her mother who smoked at the time. The only reason I made it through that month is because my three sons had asthma too, and theirs wasn't as bad as mine and they didn't need to use their inhalers as much as I did. I finished off their inhalers to get by that month.

The only reason I lost my temper with her is because I told her that she wasn't allowed in my house anymore or on my property and she wouldn't stay away. A couple of days after she stole my inhaler, she came knocking on my door, instead of calling, to see if my son was home. She should have stayed away a little longer. I was still upset about my asthma inhaler being stolen. I feel bad to this day for raising my voice to her. I would have apologized, but she and her family moved away shortly thereafter and the few times that she called to talk to my son, I forgot all about it. Someday, if I remember to, I'm going to apologize to her if I get the chance. I shouldn't have raised my voice to her.

[GrumpysWife]

It takes a lot to get my dander up, but when it get up, watch out. I usually run things that upset me past Grumpy. He tells me what he thinks and I usually listen to him. Like you, Leslie, I am pretty much on an even plateau, but sometimes I feel the need to explode so I rant at Grumpy when I'm upset. He listens and then I get over it. My sister is the one who really pushes my buttons.

[stuagu]

"When is the last time you lost your temper?"

well.. what time is it now? !!!!!!

[Greenfield]

I try not to do it but if you want me to....

X( ARRRRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! X(

How was that?

[betlee]

"When is the last time you lost your temper?"

well.. what time is it now? !!!!!!

[betlee]

I think that it's been 13 years since my husband & I divorced. He kept me on an emotional roller coaster & pushed my buttons until I lost my temper. Then he would stand back & smile! Shame on me But it taught me some lessons. I'm pretty easy going now thanks to Jehovah!

[carribbeangrl01]

Like Leslie I have pretty much always been easy going until I got married. If things were bad, I would just go pout in a corner for awhile.

Even then I still kept it in check, but sometimes when my husband is having one of his 2 yr old tantrums and starts throwing things around and blaming me for everything that goes wrong, it is extremely super difficult to not to start throwing things right back at him.

I've learned that I absolutely cannot be angry and sad at the same time. He doesn't understand that unless I am sad and crying I would be going completely postal on him. Postal probably not the best solution. The last time I completely lost it was when we were in the car and I was driving. He didn't have anything to throw at the time and hit my leg instead. I lost it started hitting at him anyway anyhow. Did I mention I was driving. Definitely not good. Crossed over 3 lanes in few seconds. Quickly realized i had lost control and went back to driving. I think I scared the daylights out of him not to mention myself.

Its a scary thing to lose your temper and not be in control, so generally if hes upset I keep to myself and don't say anything and pray for self control. It is very hard to maintain sometimes when it never used to be

I did have a CO wife tell me that while I couldnt throw anything hard or hit him over the head with a frying pan, I could hit over the head with a bible. He might absorb something. LOL

[destiny]

Today, when my relief staff came 2 hours late, and I had a bible study I had to cancel. so I had a good reason...

[Blueyedchanel]

January 28th, 2012. About 6:15pm. Is that specific enough?

The next day was my wedding anniversary and my husband had been very distant and not very nice the days leading up. I was asking him if he wanted to to dinner for our anniversary, that my parents would babysit, or they offered to pay for a sitter and wanted to take us out to dinner. He was dodging the question and just shrugging, acting indifferent and I pushed the issue and said "Will you please stop ignoring me and answer my question?". To which he replied, in the most hateful tone of voice, "Why should I acknowledge our anniversary if YOU won't celebrate MY birthday?"

Unfortunately I lost if for a bit but then calmed down enough to remember my goal to remain calm and "win without a word". My (not JW) husband can be a bit controlling and intimidates me greatly, but I'm a strong willed person and sadly I let things bottle up, afraid to speak my mind until I bust. The birthday comment sent me over the edge, but I collected myself enough (with lots of silent in my mind prayers in the moment) to say things to him that NEEDED to be said.

I felt bad for losing my temper and cried all night long, with a 9am meeting I woke up 2 hours early to put ice on my eyes to reduce the swelling because I didn't want the brothers to know I was upset. I didn't do a very good job and barley made it through the first song and ran to the back in tears, his comments hurt so bad. Another sister in the hall followed me back and didn't say a word, didn't ask a question, just held mt hand while I cried. By the Watchtower study I felt much better and by the time I got him my husbands guilt was evident. Both kids were bathed, dressed, beds were made, clothes were in the washer, all toys put away and the dishes were done!!!

[ReadYourBible]

Go take a read of this thread......

http://www.jwtalk.net/forum/read.php?10,93372,93724#msg-93724

It describes a nameless husband and a nameless wife.....and the issue of anger.

[LizzyJo]

I can't remember the last time I lost my temper, but I get annoyed a lot.

One thing I have learned is that if someone upsets me at the Kingdom Hall I can't come home and tell my non-believing husband about it to get sympathy. I've done that twice. What happens is that I've forgotten the whole thing in a couple of days; he never forgets.

[Blueyedchanel]

I can't remember the last time I lost my temper, but I get annoyed a lot.

One thing I have learned is that if someone upsets me at the Kingdom Hall I can't come home and tell my non-believing husband about it to get sympathy. I've done that twice. What happens is that I've forgotten the whole thing in a couple of days; he never forgets.

Oh yeah I never say anything negative about the brothers, organization, or anything pertaining to being a JW in front of my husband. He already has a negative view of religion, the last thing I need to be doing is giving him a reason to have a negative feeling towards Jehovah's Witnesses.

[Alphaeus]

Go take a read of this thread......

http://www.jwtalk.net/forum/read.php?10,93372,93724#msg-93724

It describes a nameless husband and a nameless wife.....and the issue of anger.

Well... that was an interesting read...

[Poly Ester]

Yesterday I'm ashamed to say... when my youngest daughter (20) annoyed me beyond belief !!!

[LeslieDean]

Oh Boy! I had to learn this the hard way too!!! I do not want to ask any brothers to do work for us because my husband is a perfectionist---when brothers and sisters have needed help he has donated his expertise on the matter (fireplace and chimney problems) and has even bought materials to do the job and not charged them. We have had four brothers do work for us and it was not up to par--not to my husbands standards but even to my standards--which I make excuses for their lack of professionalism--and it causes so much trouble between us. I will never ask a brother to do work again. One was a contractor that I recommended to my sister (also a JW) and he did a terrible job on her fence. He did a roofing job on a rent house for us when we lived in LA (the house was in OK) and our renters said that he still had not done the job after we had paid him in advance---this was two months before I could get him to return my call. He apologized and said his wife had been sick and he had the DC to attend and was really busy then their was the ministry on the weekends. We foiund out that he had subcontracted the job to another roofer just to get it done. We hired him--he was not even the cheapest bid but my husband siad that he would rather give the job to someone I knew and trusted. We found out that there were three other sisters in the KH having problems with him also on jobs they hired him to do. He was an elder. No one talked about it to the other elders and we did not say anything to our brothers and sisters except the ones that had already hired him to do work for them. We see him from time to time at DC's but he never says anything to us. This especially hurts but we did not want to cause problems because he did have a sick wife but we felt he was always using the ministry as an excuse to why it took so long for him to do anything. Then you can not reply because you know that is important also and you feel like you are taking away from Jehovah and then you remember scriptures about not suing your brother. I think it is best to hire outside of the KH has been not just my experience but many of the brothers and sisters. I get this thrown up to me whenever my husband gets upset with AYNTHING!

[ReadYourBible]

Go take a read of this thread......

http://www.jwtalk.net/forum/read.php?10,93372,93724#msg-93724

It describes a nameless husband and a nameless wife.....and the issue of anger.

Well... that was an interesting read...

Isn't it.....LOL and it's also the last time I was truly angry. I tend to hold a lot of things in, because when I get upset it's like a bomb goes off. There is no self-control, it's explosive and as a Christian that's not recommended because in the heat of a moment that's how people die. I learned one really good trick too, angry - count to 10, there's been times I've counted to 100, or 1000.

He who angers you, controls you is another good saying I like too.

[Blueyedchanel]

Go take a read of this thread......

http://www.jwtalk.net/forum/read.php?10,93372,93724#msg-93724

It describes a nameless husband and a nameless wife.....and the issue of anger.

Well... that was an interesting read...

Isn't it.....LOL and it's also the last time I was truly angry. I tend to hold a lot of things in, because when I get upset it's like a bomb goes off. There is no self-control, it's explosive and as a Christian that's not recommended because in the heat of a moment that's how people die. I learned one really good trick too, angry - count to 10, there's been times I've counted to 100, or 1000.

He who angers you, controls you is another good saying I like too.

I'm the same way, hold it in until I explode. I'm working on that. I have found, and know its probably not the best but it works for me, that if I have something to discuss with my husband I will wait until his not home and text message him. I am able to think before I speak, so to say, because I am writing my responses out. The past 2 situations that COULD have gotten ugly, didn't, because I addressed them over text messages. My husband has a way of twisting what you say and talking in circles so you don't know up from down by the end. In the text messages there is proof as to what I said exactly and being able to refer him back to it has proved very helpful. The results turned out so well the last time my husband actually attended the Memorial with me this year. I am able to keep a level head, stay calm, and actually make the points I am trying to make if I do it in writing. Email or writing a letter works also.

[Taneisha]

It has not been long since I lost my temper. I never lose my temper until someone pushes my buttons and when I do lose my temper I blow up like a bomb.

[Alphaeus]

The last time I lost my temper I think was a month ago. My daughter was being a bit disrespectful, and I kind of went off a bit. I came back later with my tail between my legs and apologized.

I was on a new anti-anxiety med at the time, and I think it contributed to it. I said bye-bye to that med. Thank you, but I'll do better without.

[Alphaeus]

I think it is best to hire outside of the KH has been not just my experience but many of the brothers and sisters.

I don't blame you. It's awkward when you aren't satisfied with a job but are afraid to say anything, not wanting there to be hard feelings.