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You might be one of Jehovah's Witnesses if...


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This was copied from Ministry Ideaz on Facebook wih permission

If you clean windows or homes for a living and own five suits.

You don't consider a two door car really a car.

You know the convenient store clerks on a first name basis.

You have tennis elbow from turning the pages in the Bible.

A Buy One Get One Free coupon makes your day.

An RV is not a Recreational Vehicle.

You consider your priorities in buying a car to be cup holders, gas mileage and air conditioning.

While walking thought the Door Department at Home Depot, you feel compelled to starting knocking.

The Food Pyramid you follow had Coffee at the top.

While on vacation you first find the Kingdom Hall and then your Hotel.

At work you introduce a co-worker as Brother so and so. (No, they are easy to tell apart from brothers)

You can calculate the time to the Last Days, but can't balance your checkbook.

The abbreviation CO has nothing to do with the word Company.

Magazines found on your nightstand and coffee table consist of the Watchtower, the Awake a Ministry Ideaz catalog.

You know that the term THE LIGHT GETS BRIGHTER AND BRIGHTER has nothing to do with the dimmer switch on the wall.

The Holiday Season excites you only for the store sales.

You think Pioneer is not a stereo.

You think NEW LIGHT has nothing to do with the Lighting section at Home Depot.

You think TRACT has nothing to do with a piece of land.

You know when Nisan 14 of the Jewish calendar lands in the Gregorian calendar from year to year, and yet you commonly forget your own birthday.

Memorial Day isn't in May.

You spent days in a baseball stadium, never saw a ball and didn't have a beer.

You feel Formal Clothing and Civic Center belong in the same sentence. (I didn't get this one)

You think nothing of letting your friends stop by to use your bathroom.

You know the cleanliness of every coffee shop for four towns around.

You can't buy a pair of shoes without thinking about how comfortable they will need to be while walking residential streets in 95 degree heat.

You have a tendency to refer to books by color instead of names.

You can't pick a book or anything else to read without grabbing a Highlighter or pen to underline something.

You think it is complimentary to refer to someone as a study.

You have Get Togethers in stead of Parties.

After a Get Together in your home, your house is still clean and you have more food than what you started with

Any others?

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You feel Formal Clothing and Civic Center belong in the same sentence. (I didn't get this one)

Assemblies and conventions may be held in Civic Centers, for which you would of course be wearing formal clothing.

As for any others, I have this one:

If "circuit assembly" has nothing to do with electronics manufacturing.

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When someone asks what you do for a living and you reply "I'm a pioneer'.

I heard a brother was baptized for five years before he realized he didn't have to wear a mustache nor did he have to be a janitor !!!

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When someone asks what you do for a living and you reply "I'm a pioneer'.

I heard a brother was baptized for five years before he realized he didn't have to wear a mustache nor did he have to be a janitor !!!

Don't understand that one?

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You might be one of Jehovah's Witnesses if:

You have driven down every street in your town and the surrounding area, and know who lives in just about every house.

You leave a tip for the hotel maid.

You've gone to "church" nearly every Sunday of your life, yet you've never seen a stained glass window, a pew, an altar, or a holy water font; and you have no idea of the difference between an apse, a nave, and a narthex.

Your ears perk up if you hear the numbers "twenty four - fourteen" or "eighty three - eighteen."

You know exactly how many years, months, and (possibly) even days have elapsed since 1914.

You've ever held a glass of wine in your hand, looked at it, and passed it to the person next to you... without even considering drinking it.

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You might be one of Jehovah's Witnesses if...

(this goes back to the days when the mags and literature had prices)

... if you've ever bartered with someone... "Ok, I'll give you this book if you'll give me some canned food."

(I grew up in a poor rural area and transactions like this were pretty common when I was a kid in the 70s.)

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