Not mad or angry, just frustrated:

[kejedo]

Friends here may remember that I have been having some frustrations with moving back into the family home after the demise of my never-been-baptized husband, who passed away on 09/2022. We were married before I came into the truth and have several sons; no immediate family that are followers of Jah. I have a car and a house, but don't like to drive (and have health limits), so am generally ready to go with someone on quick,local errands, and provide the car, if they do the driving, and if they tell me how long they will be. Too often, a few items has taken them an hour or more (me waiting, car running), and they come out with a month's worth of groceries. B/c of problems with the house, my health and my dog's age, I generally pay someone as home care helper to stay with the dog if I am out to meetings or service. I have recently become friends with a dear sister, and we have done service, studies, and meetings together. I'm very impressed that although on a walker and air tanks, she still gives it a go,and I'm glad to pick her up on time to load all her gear.  One time, myself and another family arrived together to pick her up, no prob. It's not a perfect world. Got her for this morning's meeting and made it on time. We were sitting in the back of KH, and sometimes I use my laptop as I am  between cataract surgeries (complicated due to allergy to all eye drops; have to reschedule again.) I am looking at today's Wtchtwr. and she sees jwtalk net listed on my screen and whispers "Get rid of that, All fake witnesses"and keeps pointing to my X to close out. MOved to a different screen but was distracted and did not get an answer in today. Happy for all who did get called on and for the lesson from Jehovah. Told her I had to go to my bank to get some cash to pay house/dog sitter and she said she had to pick up some candy at Walmart for a grandson's graduation party next week. I could make that work as I have a bank branch in Walmart. 

At Walmart, she sends me to get her a ride-on cart, which I do and bring it to front door, which I do, and says she will meet me back right there. It was 1:40 before we got there and I'm figuring minutes to get our limited items and for me to get home and pay out sitter/house helper. I saw her immediately load up family size candies and said a silent yes, b/c I knew exactly what I needed for house and dog,  quick visit to lady's room; cashed out and was done in minutes. Due to my problem with ulcers and inoperable hernias I have a 20 minute window between rest room visits. This works if I can keep on time.  She was not in the place she told me, so I waited a hot and nervous hour and 45 minutes outside. Noticed one of her oxygen tanks in the car and was worried about a potential health emergency for her, or if she forgot I was waiting and accepted another ride home.  Went back into store and found her stacked to the rafters with groceries, toiletries, and supplies and told her I had to run to the lady's room and maybe to the hospital. I had mentioned far earlier in the morning that I wasn't feeling well: allergies, asthma, anaphylaxis that I have under control and monitor. Mean time, all this is running up my tab to house-helper and I thought I might have to hit the bank again. Sis says, "Well, those things happen," and I say it won't happen to me again.  Does it make sense if next time,I say,"If you're not out in twenty minutes, I'll assume you took another ride and leave." Got home at five instead of two and paid my home care helper, /she said I still owe her another 85 and then came back in saying I still owe her another 185. I will pay her, but she does take advantage of me for time, (being outside talking to neighbors while dog is inside, and not helping me b/c she has to have her coffee, breakfast, smoke breaks, make-and-receive calls, take naps, and watch netflix on her cellphone.) We have agreed I really need the help lifting b/c of major surgery with screws on my right arm and that it is part of her job description, but she seems to bail out on the tasks she is being paid for and has promised to help out with. Yikes, what next?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

g 

[Old]

5 minutes ago, kejedo said:

Friends here may remember that I have been having some frustrations with moving back into the family home after the demise of my never-been-baptized husband, who passed away on 09/2022. We were married before I came into the truth and have several sons; no immediate family that are followers of Jah. I have a car and a house, but don't like to drive (and have health limits), so am generally ready to go with someone on quick,local errands, and provide the car, if they do the driving, and if they tell me how long they will be. Too often, a few items has taken them an hour or more (me waiting, car running), and they come out with a month's worth of groceries. B/c of problems with the house, my health and my dog's age, I generally pay someone as home care helper to stay with the dog if I am out to meetings or service. I have recently become friends with a dear sister, and we have done service, studies, and meetings together. I'm very impressed that although on a walker and air tanks, she still gives it a go,and I'm glad to pick her up on time to load all her gear.  One time, myself and another family arrived together to pick her up, no prob. It's not a perfect world. Got her for this morning's meeting and made it on time. We were sitting in the back of KH, and sometimes I use my laptop as I am  between cataract surgeries (complicated due to allergy to all eye drops; have to reschedule again.) I am looking at today's Wtchtwr. and she sees jwtalk net listed on my screen and whispers "Get rid of that, All fake witnesses"and keeps pointing to my X to close out. MOved to a different screen but was distracted and did not get an answer in today. Happy for all who did get called on and for the lesson from Jehovah. Told her I had to go to my bank to get some cash to pay house/dog sitter and she said she had to pick up some candy at Walmart for a grandson's graduation party next week. I could make that work as I have a bank branch in Walmart. 

At Walmart, she sends me to get her a ride-on cart, which I do and bring it to front door, which I do, and says she will meet me back right there. It was 1:40 before we got there and I'm figuring minutes to get our limited items and for me to get home and pay out sitter/house helper. I saw her immediately load up family size candies and said a silent yes, b/c I knew exactly what I needed for house and dog,  quick visit to lady's room; cashed out and was done in minutes. Due to my problem with ulcers and inoperable hernias I have a 20 minute window between rest room visits. This works if I can keep on time.  She was not in the place she told me, so I waited a hot and nervous hour and 45 minutes outside. Noticed one of her oxygen tanks in the car and was worried about a potential health emergency for her, or if she forgot I was waiting and accepted another ride home.  Went back into store and found her stacked to the rafters with groceries, toiletries, and supplies and told her I had to run to the lady's room and maybe to the hospital. I had mentioned far earlier in the morning that I wasn't feeling well: allergies, asthma, anaphylaxis that I have under control and monitor. Mean time, all this is running up my tab to house-helper and I thought I might have to hit the bank again. Sis says, "Well, those things happen," and I say it won't happen to me again.  Does it make sense if next time,I say,"If you're not out in twenty minutes, I'll assume you took another ride and leave." Got home at five instead of two and paid my home care helper, /she said I still owe her another 85 and then came back in saying I still owe her another 185. I will pay her, but she does take advantage of me for time, (being outside talking to neighbors while dog is inside, and not helping me b/c she has to have her coffee, breakfast, smoke breaks, make-and-receive calls, take naps, and watch netflix on her cellphone.) We have agreed I really need the help lifting b/c of major surgery with screws on my right arm and that it is part of her job description, but she seems to bail out on the tasks she is being paid for and has promised to help out with. Yikes, what next?

 

 

What does the house sitter do for the dog that the dog can't do for itself?

Are those numbers you cite dollars or cents?

[kejedo]

dollars. I have put smoke alarms through out the house for me to get myself and dog out in emergency. I still have boxes unpacked from this painful move and still need help with unpacking. It is included in her job description, but she hasn't felt like doing it yet. I cannot carry things upstairs and need assistance, which she is paid for at the going rate for our area.

[HappyDumpling]

It does sound frustrating. It is highly commendable that you do not mind helping others with car rides and assistance. It really is a good example for all of us. Your frustration is completely valid. Maybe have a tea with the sister and in a calm way (pray to Jehovah) mention to her that you really like having her company but that you would really like her (and others) to consider and remember that with your health and other responsibilities, that stops to stores etc should please be kept within the x amount minute time frame. 

 

And for the pet/house sitter and care giver - she should be reminded that her contract includes these tasks. Maybe to make it uncomplicated give her a "to do list" for the given day. Again pray to Jehovah for courage to deliver this instruction with tact but with directness.

 

Im sorry that you are dealing with this. If we were in the same town I would have happily done some of the heavy lifting and unpacking for you out of love. 🙂 ❤️

[computerwiz]

17 hours ago, kejedo said:

She was not in the place she told me, so I waited a hot and nervous hour and 45 minutes outside.

 

17 hours ago, kejedo said:

she does take advantage of me for time, (being outside talking to neighbors while dog is inside, and not helping me b/c she has to have her coffee, breakfast, smoke breaks, make-and-receive calls, take naps, and watch netflix on her cellphone.)

 

 

Good, clear, tactful communication is key.  Let them know what you expect, what your requirements are.  Be firm, but kind.  Just lay the cards on the table without trying to rehearse a speech.  It goes better that way.  And as already mentioned, make it a matter of prayer....multiple prayers.