THE NEED To Face Reality

[Timl1980]

Burnt out, out of gas, fatigued, exhausted, spent, drained, worn out, enervated, run down, bushed, stressed out to the nines...pick your poison...but every single one of those feelings have attached themselves to me like leeches recently.

 

Pulled in different directions, worried about saying too much...scared I'm not saying enough.

 

Avoiding certain obligations due to stress and my ADHD while digging deep into my personal distractions of chess and personal research. 

 

Working more hours due to weather conditions in the winter, not spending enough quality time with my wife. 

 

The ability to give good advice to others while simultaneously somehow conveniently forgetting to apply it to myself.

 

Attending more meetings on Zoom then in person, feeling disassociated through absence, experiencing lack of love and empathy due to exhaustion, frustration, anger, hurt, and pain. 

 

All of this is what I expressed to an elder yesterday as we sat in two chairs on the back room of his empty Kingdom Hall, our ears perked up occasionally by the sounds of the howling wind and driving snow outside...and this is what he said in return: 

 

SIX BILLION TONS!!

 

That's how much just one teaspoonful of a single star weighs...and that's how stupid, (my word, not his), Tim really is.

 

All this time, I've been reaching for stars...trying to stretch out on my tippiest of tippy toes in order to grab just one and SHOW Jehovah that I am a capable man...a good man...a man he could love and respect.

 

I was trying so hard, for so long...but to Jehovah...I must have seemed as pathetic as a tiny ant reaching out to carry the whole muffin back to it's colony...when all it was ASKED to do was carry a crumb.

 

As this very kind elder pointed out to me yesterday...Jehovah never asked me to carry the whole muffin...he never required me to grab a star and carry it around...he only asked me to take his hand...hold on tight...and allow HIS light to penetrate deep into my mind and heart.

 

He didn't ask ME to be the "source"...and he never told me to "reach" for it...like I had to carry around the source myself...he simply asked me to reflect HIS light.

 

Those are MY expectations...those are my OWN personal thoughts and feelings about what I  felt I  should be doing...not Jehovah's.

 

After a few minutes of listening to more of my excuses and self lies...he quietly, gently...led me to a set of scriptures I know very very well...or at least...I THOUGHT I did.

 

Matthew 11:28,29: "Come to me, all you who are toiling and loaded down, and I will refresh you. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am mild-tempered and lowly in heart, and you will find refreshment for yourselves."

 

Refresh: In Greek, the word is anapausis...and it means rest from burdens...or refreshment... that's true.

 

But this brother pointed out that the meaning is deeper, especially when you look at how this word is used in the Greek Septuagint at Exodus 23:12: "Six days you are to do your work; but on the seventh day, you are to cease from your labor, in order that your bull and your donkey may rest and the son of your slave girl and the foreign resident may REFRESH themselves"

 

The Israelites didn't JUST receive refreshment by pausing physical labor...here the word means SABBATH rest...restoring equality!! 

 

It means relief from pressure, a pause that restores a person's dignity and self-worth. 

 

THAT'S the "load" that Jesus offers...and here's why:

 

https://www.jw.org/finder?srcid=jwlshare&wtlocale=E&prefer=lang&docid=502300130

 

Under "I will refresh you"...look at HOW Jesus provides relief: 

 

"Jesus promised to give relief, or rest, to those who accepted his kind invitation. He did so by helping them to understand what God truly expected of them.

 

 

In other words, he was relieving them of all the unfair rules and restrictions that had been piled upon the Israelites by the Pharisees...and this brother pointed out that, while we don't have physical Pharisees doing that today...each one of us has a "Pharisee" INSIDE us...constantly piling on added rules and restrictions to ourselves, criticizing our every move, condemning our every thought...and all in the name of US attempting to be self righteous.

 

"I should be doing more because..."

 

"I'm not good enough because..."

 

 

"Jehovah expects too much from ME, because I just can't do what everyone else can do!!"

 

😔

 

This dear dear brother then gave me a piece of paper and a pen and asked me to write down ten things in which I felt I am not "ENOUGH".

 

After I had finished, we went over them one by one. 

 

In each and every instance, I was absolutely shocked to see how my inner "Pharisee" was condemning me...piling on small and subtle "adjustments" to Jehovah's actual requirements.

 

I always knew I would have to face reality one day...I just didn't think that reality would take the form of a Pharisee.

 

Starting now, I am going to strive every day to see myself as Jehovah sees me...not as I THINK he should see me.

 

Starting now, I am going to improve where I can, pray about what I can't and allow Jehovah to work out the details. 

 

Starting now, I'm going to listen to Jehovah's voice more than my own and stop piling up unrealistic expectations based on where I think I SHOULD be in Jehovah's organization...not where I actually am.

 

If Jehovah opens the door, I'll walk through it. 

 

But I'm going to try my best to stop creating my own doors...I'm going to stop reaching for a star...and be content with reflecting Jehovah's light.

[Miss Bea]

Fabulous advice, fabulous brother!

[normadenardo]

Thank you for sharing.🧡  I needed this. 

[Mattclaxton]

Just what I needed to hear, I had a conversation with a brother a few days ago which discouraged me more than encouraged me. 

[Jahmyrock125]

THANKS FOR HELPING ME ,,OFTEN FELT SAME WAY , DUE TO EXTREME DIFFICULT CIRCUMSTANCES, GOING THROUGH AT THE MOMENT.😔

[Sister Theresa]

On 12/7/2025 at 12:59 PM, Mattclaxton said:

Just what I needed to hear, I had a conversation with a brother a few days ago which discouraged me more than encouraged me. 

So sorry to hear that!

[Ludwika]

I always think of what Jehovah told Gideon - "go with what you have".

He wasn't told to try and rustle up what he didn't have.

[Lance]

Imagine the sign above Jesus carpenter’s shop 
“Joseph and Sons … Bespoke Yokes”
“Measured with care, crafted with love…Our yokes are kindly.”

Kindly….Not harsh, not crushing, designed with care and compassion.
Yokes were always a symbol of partnership,two oxen sharing the load, just as Jesus shares his.

He invites us to take his yoke, not that he would share ours, but that he provides one that is kindly and light.
The emphasis is on “learning from him” ( the hard part) and finding refreshment. So it seems to me this brother in his conversation with you.. was able to help you find refreshment… but more importantly you accepted the counsel. 
You didn’t just hear it; you stepped into it. That’s why it brought refreshment.

Well done

Edited yesterday at 04:44 AM by Lance

[Amygdala]

Lovely comments brother Tim. Your honesty is refreshing and you echo sentiments as you can see that others can identify with. Reminds me of the apostle Paul and all the struggles he faced. When he wished to do what is right, due to the empowering power of sin, couldn‘t. Also his words in 2 Cor. 11 starting in verse 22 describing all of his obstacles, then says in verse 29: “Who is weak, and I am not weak? Who is stumbled, and I am not incensed?“ Those are real, raw human emotions. Although written so long ago, his words provides a kind of solace for those times when we are weak or broken down, but with Jehovah’s help, are not completely weakened down without a way out. But just as we know we face those moments, so does Satan. 

 

Satan uses our weaknesses, our failures, and then on top of that, uses someone‘s unkind words or actions to bring us down. Paul clearly felt that way, too. And Satan looks around in the congregation to use a person’s weaknesses, feelings, situations, people, words, to bring someone down to a very low point…exactly the same way as he did with Jesus.

 

How comforting to know a person is not alone when dealing with trials of various sorts. Jehovah always gives out his loving, mighty hand of support (1 Peter 5:6,7), so anything that is not kosher and happening to someone, will, in due time, be better with Jehovah‘s help. The injustices Jesus and the apostle Paul endured is evidence of that. They kept enduring in their ministry and love for God, which he gave them in return to continue despite severe trials.

Edited yesterday at 08:50 AM by Amygdala

[dljbsp]

@Timl1980, your words a few days ago showed a man finally finding his even keel again. I’ve been thinking about that. How have these last six days treated you? Has the calm held? Have you felt Jehovah steadying you in ways that surprised you? 

YB

[Timl1980]

42 minutes ago, dljbsp said:

your words a few days ago showed a man finally finding his even keel again. I’ve been thinking about that. How have these last six days treated you? Has the calm held? Have you felt Jehovah steadying you in ways that surprised you? 

YB

 

Thank you for asking!

 

It's been very comforting allowing certain things to go, just by admitting that I was adding things on to my own plate that had no business being on MY plate in the first place. 

 

I've been coming home a lot more mentally rested, so to speak, if that makes any sense to anyone. 

 

I've been able to pencil in small amounts of time with my wife nearly every day now. It may not be as MUCH time as we would like, but at least it's QUALITY time...and that's what really matters at the end of the day. 

 

Just by admitting that I could not be everything to everyone all the time...I felt a huge load lifted off my shoulders. 

 

Yes, there has been some guilt, especially because some people have been so used to contacting me throughout the day and speaking to me about one thing or another simply because I have the time...and now I have cut some of that off.

 

I understand how they feel, but I am also cognitively aware that if I'm not able to be of any use to myself or to my family...then I'm actually of very little use to Jehovah.

 

Overall, I feel extremely grateful to that brother for sitting me down and allowing me both the time and the opportunity to actually write things down on paper. That forced me to see the reality of the situation, it forced me to see that I had started adding things onto Jehovah's requirements. 

 

There has still been some hiccups, and I've failed a couple of days out of last week, but again, I feel much better about my spiritual situation...even though nothing has really changed in that regard.

 

It's mostly my outlook that has changed, and stripping away some of those extra things that Jehovah was not asking me to do. 

 

One brother reached out to me yesterday and thanked me for taking a step back with one of the former inmates. I recommended that the former inmate reach out to this particular elder and they hit it off beautifully. 

 

He is much closer than I am and physically able to follow through on some of the good ideas that I had, like going out for lunch or dinner with some of the friends and trying to get to know those in his congregation better. 

 

The elder said he appreciated some of the advice I had given this former inmate, he said the guy had written it down and showed it to him.

 

I told him that I had just stolen it from our publications anyway...and the brother started laughing and said yeah, but YOU'RE the one who helped him see the value of it, and how he could instantly apply it in his own life.

 

So overall, I've felt better even with a couple of fails last week. Thank you for asking!

[dljbsp]

4 hours ago, Timl1980 said:

There has still been some hiccups,

Brother, reading your update was steadying in itself. You didn’t just describe progress — you described clarity. When a man finally sees what belongs on his plate and what never did, the relief is real, and it shows in every line you wrote.

 

The way you’ve shifted from carrying everything to carrying what Jehovah actually assigned — that’s a course correction many of us have to relearn from time to time. And the fact that you’re feeling more mentally rested, more present with your wife, more grounded in your own worship… that says you’re listening to Jehovah’s hand on the rudder.

 

The small stumbles you mentioned don’t erase that momentum. They just remind you that your new rhythm is working — because you noticed them, adjusted, and kept your balance. That is not failure; that’s awareness.

 

If anything, your experience highlights something worth holding onto: when you make space for Jehovah to steady you, he often fills that space with the right people, at the right time — just like that elder who took the time to sit with you. You honored that kindness by applying it.

 

What you’re doing now is sustainable. And from the outside, it’s clear you’re not stepping away from love — you’re stepping away from strain so you can give love where it’s truly yours to give.

 

Well done, brother. Truly.

 

One of my favorite scriptures is Psalm 55:22. And honestly, some days it feels like I’m still learning how to leave things in Jehovah’s hands. I pass the weight to him… then there I go, picking it back up again, only to pass it right back. Not really a game of pass — more like a patient Father letting me figure out that he really does have the ball, and I don’t need to keep reaching for it.

 

And if you’re ever in one of those moments where you feel you need just a little more… roll back the covers and read verses 16 and 17. There’s something steadying about hearing David say out loud what we often feel quietly.

(And just to be clear… not *this* David — David the Psalmist.)