Transgender

[Julie1]

I had a shock about 3 years ago when my son sent me a message about the girl he had been talking to online was infact a transgender person.

My son is a vulnerable young man in his 30s.

He met the young man online about 10 years ago, so he has known the person as a male.

He said he knew it was wrong.

My son is not baptised and has a lot of mental health issues, he hasn't experienced romance before and this is a very synthetic version.

There has been no physical meeting, but there are plans to, we are in the UK and the boy comes from US. 

I have talked to an elder and asked for encouragement for my son which he desperately needs. 

His reply to me was we can't stop our children's decisions and to my son he said you know what's right and wrong. 

However the elder is not seeing the vulnerability of my son. 

My son was in his room for 13 years with OCD and acrophobia and has been out for a few years helping to care for his brother who has worse mental health problems, the elder is aware of this fact.

 

But because he is out of his room doing a very good job of supporting his brother, his "friend" has lept on this as a way of seeing my son in the flesh. 

I don't know if the meeting will a actually materialize, but of course I am scared.

My other son is passionate about Bible truths and I don't want him corrupted. 

It's a mess and I am a single parent which is an added burden. 

Is anyone else in this kind of situation?

[Barbllm]

I don't personally, but I have a close friend whose son told her that he was transgender a few years ago and left home to live as a woman. 

 

If your son knows that transgenderism is morally wrong (it's likely due to human imperfection) then perhaps reason with him about meeting or developing a relationship with this person. What guidance does Jehovah give for people who want a romantic relationship (1 Corinthians 7:39)? 

[Brandon]

What is your son’s view of homosexuality, cross dressing, and other similar moral issues? I would just directly ask him. But make the question open, don’t try to direct him to the answer you hope he chooses, otherwise he might not open up about how he really feels.

[Beggar for the Spirit]

HI Julie,

 

So sorry about the situation with your son.

I understand your concerns and worries.

 

So what can be said to your son to help him?

You mentioned that your son has "...a lot of mental health issues, he hasn't experienced romance before and this is a very synthetic version."

 

But even people who have no mental issues can get very confused when it comes to the complicated emotions involving our deep inner feelings, love, sex, etc.  So it could be that anyone could feel confusion about their feelings after having started some kind of connection with someone who is transgender.

 

So do you think this illustration and suggestion could help your son?

 

(Illustration)

I have a drawer full of old computer & iphone cords and wires.

Somehow they get all tangled up even though I try to keep them separated.

When I pull everything out of the drawers, there is such a tangled, complicated mess.  I don't even know where to start in "untangling" the mess.

 

In a similar way, maybe some people who feel some form of connection to a person who is transgender is also all "tangled" up inside? Meaning that maybe they just like the "person", and possibly they feel some kind of closeness or bond because the transgender person understands them, sympathizes with them, etc.

 

We have to remember that a "transgender" is a person.

He/she was born with Jehovah's qualities of compassion, kindness, goodness, love, etc.  So it is understandable why a person could feel a connection or bond with a transgender person.

 

So your son could just be all "tangled" up inside, and may not really desire a romantic/sexual relationship but he is just so confused?

Your son may have a "tangled" mess inside him trying to sort out if he just likes the "person" or if his feelings stem from romantic or sexual feelings or is this just friendship??

 

So since the most powerful thing that can be said to any person, including your son, who is sadly dealing with these tangled feelings, is from "the word of God" which is "... alive and exerts power and is sharper than any two-edged sword and pierces even to the dividing of soul and spirit, and of joints from the marrow, and is able to discern (and "untangle") thoughts and intentions of the heart", then how about this powerful story in the Bible about a special friendship BUT...

that some people have confused to be about a homosexual relationship?

 

Maybe having this story explained to your son from the perspective of trying to help him "untangle" his feelings could be very powerful?

Spoiler

*** ijwia article 3 “Bound Together in Close Friendship” ***
Was It a Sexual Relationship?

 

Some researchers have claimed that the relationship between Jonathan and David was a homosexual liaison. Does the Bible support that view? Consider the following points.

• The Bible verses used to support that view do not really suggest a sexual relationship. Often cited are David’s words about Jonathan: “More wonderful was your love to me than the love of women.” (2 Samuel 1:26) Some also refer to the verses that mention that the two men kissed each other. (1 Samuel 20:41) However, such words and expressions of affection between two men were quite common in Bible times and in the culture of the ancient Middle East, without suggesting anything sexual at all.—1 Samuel 10:1; 2 Samuel 19:39.
• Both men were married to women and fathered children. David had several wives and many children. (2 Samuel 5:13-16) Jonathan’s wife is not named, but he fathered a son named Mephibosheth, or Merib-baal.—2 Samuel 4:4; 1 Chronicles 8:34.
• Both men were loyal to God’s Law. Jonathan and David had in common their faith in and love for Jehovah God, and they swore their oath of friendship “in the name of Jehovah.” (1 Samuel 20:41, 42) Obedience to Jehovah was thus a high priority for both men, and God’s Law clearly condemned all forms of sexual immorality, including homosexual acts. (Leviticus 18:22; 20:13) So to imply that David and Jonathan had homosexual relations is to deny the very foundation of their friendship.

Nothing in the Bible suggests that either Jonathan or David had homosexual leanings or that there was anything sexual about their friendship. To state otherwise is to read something into the account that simply is not there.
https://www.jw.org/finder?wtlocale=E&docid=502018361&srctype=wol&srcid=share&par=31

 

 

Sister Julie, 

This story can be explained to your son from this perspective:

"Notice that 2 men had "feelings" for each other.  They even developed a stronger bond, a stronger love, than the love of women that some men have had.  Yet both David and Jonathan did not mix their feelings of male friendship with any romantic/sexual feelings that should only be directed toward a wife.  David and Jonathan didn't think that just because they found some things in common between them and became friends and developed a bond that this could mean that other emotions were involved such as romantic or sexual feelings. No, these 2 good spiritual men did not confuse their friendship, their bond, for a homosexual relationship".

 

And so maybe using this powerful example from the Bible could help "untangle" some of the tangled feelings your son may be experiencing? 

Edited 2 hours ago by Beggar for the Spirit