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Male Vs Female at the ATM Machine


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MALE VS.. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads: 'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.'

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MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Put down your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Put window up.

7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

What is really funny is that most of this part is the Truth.!!!!

1. Drive up to cash machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

3. Set hand brake, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the

car.

8. Insert card.

9. Re-insert card the right way.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

11. Enter PIN.

12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of chequebook.

18. Re-check makeup.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse back to cash machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty handbag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!

23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

25. Redial person on cell phone.

26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

27. Release hand brake.

 


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I've had Pizza for breakfast for 2 days now...Day before yesterday I went to Kmart to have my oil changed and a tire plugged. I shopped for 1 1/2 hours then went to get my car and there was one person ahead of me. I said forget it. I was Starving!!!! AND it was rush hour traffic so I stopped at Lil Ceasars and bought TWO...(I said I was starving) pizzas for $8. So, of course, Sheryl and I couldn't eat all that so it has been breakfast. Italian food has always been my favorite breakfast!!! Lasagna...Spegett...Pizza..... Garlic, Garlic, Garlic!!!!

I LOVE GARLIC...I should have been an Italian instead of an Irish Brit!

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  • 4 years later...

Yep, I did it- I'm resurrecting this post because I think it's funny and still very relavant! The only thing left out of the female side is (and this may just be me), "dig around in purse to find anti-bacterial gel after making transaction" - The buttons are always so disgusting!

Don't live for the moment - live for the future! :D

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LOL! I did, I did! It's a funny thread that need to be read again! See if you can find it!

 

Yep, I did it- I'm resurrecting this post because I think it's funny and still very relavant! The only thing left out of the female side is (and this may just be me), "dig around in purse to find anti-bacterial gel after making transaction" - The buttons are always so disgusting!

 

 

just shy of 4 1/2 years old - is this the Lazurus thread?

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Your so funny Tim! I once resurrected a 5 year old thread - so I haven't broken my own record yet! Did you read it though? It's pretty funny and true!

Don't live for the moment - live for the future! :D

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