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Every Congregation Has Them


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THE STORYTELLER: THE PUBLISHER YOU CAN NEVER GET AWAY FROM

 

THE GREETER: THE PUBLISHER WHO MAKES IT THEIR GOAL TO SAY "HI, HOW YA DOIN'?" TO EVERY PERSON IN THE HALL

 

THE LOVER: THE SISTER WHO HUGS AND KISSES EVERYBODY

 

THE LIL' RACER: THE YOUNG BOY WHO IS ALWAYS SITTING IN A CHAIR FOR RUNNING AROUND THE HALL

 

THE EVACUATORS: THE PUBLISHERS WHO RACE TO THE DOOR WHEN THE MEETING FINISHES

 

THE VENTRILOQUIST: THE BROTHER WHO SINGS WITH HIS MOUTH SHUT

 

PAVAROTTI: THE PUBLISHER SINGING BEHIND YOU WHO CONVINCES YOU YOU'RE MUTE

 

THE 4TH MAN: THE PUBLISHER WHO IS ALWAYS GIVING IMPROMPTU TALKS 

 

THE ESCAPEE: THE PUBLISHER WHO RUNS AWAY WHEN GIVEN A TALK ASSIGNMENT SLIP

 

THE SEASON TICKET HOLDERS: THE FAMILIES WHO ALWAYS SIT IN THE EXACT SAME SEATS  

 

RIP VAN WINKLE: THE OLDER BROTHER WHO WAKES UP FOR THE CLOSING SONG AND PRAYER

 

THE WHIPLASH KIDS: THE SLEEPING KIDS WHOSE HEADS SPRING UP AND DOWN WITH VIOLENT JERKS

 

THE RAMBLER: YOU CAN COUNT ON THIS BROTHER GOING OVERTIME ON HIS TALKS

 

THE WALLFLOWER: THE BROTHERS WHO DECORATE THE WALLS DURING THE MEETINGS

 

THE ADJUSTER: THE SPEAKER WHO ALWAYS HAS TO ADJUST THE MIKE FOR HIMSELF

 

THE HIGHLIGHTERS: THE SISTERS WHO USE FIVE DIFFERENT COLOURED MARKERS TO UNDERLLINE THEIR WATCHTOWERS

 

THE UNDERLINERS: THE PUBLISHERS WHO UNDERLINE EVERY WORD OF EVERY PARAGRAPH IN THEIR WATCHTOWERS

 

THE FRESHEN UPS: THE SISTERS WHO SPEND MOST OF THEIR TIME IN THE LADIES ROOM

 

THE WEAK KIDNEY KIDS: THE KIDS WHO ARE ALWAYS IN AND OUT OF THE TOILETS

 

THE FRANTIC ONE: THE ELDER WHO ALWAYS HAS PAPERS TO HAND OUT

 

THE ASSIGNER: THE ELDER WHO IS ALWAYS BUSY ASSIGNING JOBS TO MINISTERIAL SERVANTS BEFORE AND AFTER THE MEETING

 

THE PHANTOM: THE BROTHER WHO IS ALWAYS MISSING WHEN HE HAS A DUTY

 

THE SATURDAY MORNING PREACHER: THE BROTHER CONDUCTING THE MEETING FOR FIELD SERVICE WHO TALKS FOR HALF AN HOUR

 

MISS DAISY: THE UNSATISFIED SISTER THAT YOU DRIVE AROUND IN SERVICE AND ALWAYS HAS A PERSONAL REQUEST

 

THE MEDITATORS: THE PUBLISHERS WHO PREFER TO LISTEN TO THE MEETINGS AND MEDITATE WITH THEIR EYES CLOSED

 

THE AMISH: PUBLISHERS WHO DON'T USE MIKES.....THEY SPEAK RIGHT OUT

 

THE SCREAMERS: THE KIDS WHO WANT TO BE HEARD

 

THE OBLIVIOUS ONES: THE SISTERS WHO NO ONE CAN HEAR BECAUSE THEY HOLD THE MIKE ON THEIR LAP WHILE THEY'RE TALKING

 

THE KNUCKLEBALLER: THE PUBLISHER WHO THROWS CURVE BALLS TO THE CONDUCTOR BY THEIR WACKO COMMENTS

 

THE ABC'ERS: THE PUBLISHERS WHO WITHOUT FAIL ANSWER THE B AND C QUESTIONS TOO

 

THE MAGICIAN: THE CONDUCTOR WHO WANTS YOU TO READ HIS MIND FOR THE ANSWERS

 

SCHOOL CONDUCTORS

 

THE TERMINATOR: HE NEVER PASSES ANYBODY ESPECIALLY HIS WIFE

 

THE CLOCKMAN: HE COUNSELS EVERY PUBLISHER ON TIMING

 

THE UTOPIAN DREAMER: HE ONLY EVER GIVES POSITIVE COUNSEL BECAUSE THEY DESERVE IT

 

THE ENCORE GIVER: HE GIVES AN ENCORE PRESENTATION OF THE INFORMATION AFTER EVERY TALK

 

THE TALK SLIP FORGETTER: THE ONE WHO ALWAYS HAS TO GO BACK TO HIS SEAT TO GET THE STUDENT'S SLIP

 

HOW MANY CAN YOU TICK OFF?

 

 

 

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Well, this may have more categories then we have publishers, trying to figure out where I fit. Guess I am an evacuator. I try not to be one, all the time anyway. But that trip home is some 45 minutes, and when you go in tired.....but where is the one who can give a 5 minute impromptu, that in reality was an answer from the floor. I tell myself, no, you are not going to time him. That's mean. Then someone raises their hand and gives the answer in a concise sentence.

I want to age without sharp corners, and have an obedient heart!

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We have several of these in our congregation: The Fashion Police

For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.

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THE STORYTELLER: THE PUBLISHER YOU CAN NEVER GET AWAY FROM

 

THE GREETER: THE PUBLISHER WHO MAKES IT THEIR GOAL TO SAY "HI, HOW YA DOIN'?" TO EVERY PERSON IN THE HALL

 

THE LOVER: THE SISTER WHO HUGS AND KISSES EVERYBODY

 

THE LIL' RACER: THE YOUNG BOY WHO IS ALWAYS SITTING IN A CHAIR FOR RUNNING AROUND THE HALL

 

THE EVACUATORS: THE PUBLISHERS WHO RACE TO THE DOOR WHEN THE MEETING FINISHES

 

THE VENTRILOQUIST: THE BROTHER WHO SINGS WITH HIS MOUTH SHUT

 

PAVAROTTI: THE PUBLISHER SINGING BEHIND YOU WHO CONVINCES YOU YOU'RE MUTE

 

THE 4TH MAN: THE PUBLISHER WHO IS ALWAYS GIVING IMPROMPTU TALKS 

 

THE ESCAPEE: THE PUBLISHER WHO RUNS AWAY WHEN GIVEN A TALK ASSIGNMENT SLIP

 

THE SEASON TICKET HOLDERS: THE FAMILIES WHO ALWAYS SIT IN THE EXACT SAME SEATS  

 

RIP VAN WINKLE: THE OLDER BROTHER WHO WAKES UP FOR THE CLOSING SONG AND PRAYER

 

THE WHIPLASH KIDS: THE SLEEPING KIDS WHOSE HEADS SPRING UP AND DOWN WITH VIOLENT JERKS

 

THE RAMBLER: YOU CAN COUNT ON THIS BROTHER GOING OVERTIME ON HIS TALKS

 

THE WALLFLOWER: THE BROTHERS WHO DECORATE THE WALLS DURING THE MEETINGS

 

THE ADJUSTER: THE SPEAKER WHO ALWAYS HAS TO ADJUST THE MIKE FOR HIMSELF

 

THE HIGHLIGHTERS: THE SISTERS WHO USE FIVE DIFFERENT COLOURED MARKERS TO UNDERLLINE THEIR WATCHTOWERS

 

THE UNDERLINERS: THE PUBLISHERS WHO UNDERLINE EVERY WORD OF EVERY PARAGRAPH IN THEIR WATCHTOWERS

 

THE FRESHEN UPS: THE SISTERS WHO SPEND MOST OF THEIR TIME IN THE LADIES ROOM

 

THE WEAK KIDNEY KIDS: THE KIDS WHO ARE ALWAYS IN AND OUT OF THE TOILETS

 

THE FRANTIC ONE: THE ELDER WHO ALWAYS HAS PAPERS TO HAND OUT

 

THE ASSIGNER: THE ELDER WHO IS ALWAYS BUSY ASSIGNING JOBS TO MINISTERIAL SERVANTS BEFORE AND AFTER THE MEETING

 

THE PHANTOM: THE BROTHER WHO IS ALWAYS MISSING WHEN HE HAS A DUTY

 

THE SATURDAY MORNING PREACHER: THE BROTHER CONDUCTING THE MEETING FOR FIELD SERVICE WHO TALKS FOR HALF AN HOUR

 

MISS DAISY: THE UNSATISFIED SISTER THAT YOU DRIVE AROUND IN SERVICE AND ALWAYS HAS A PERSONAL REQUEST

 

THE MEDITATORS: THE PUBLISHERS WHO PREFER TO LISTEN TO THE MEETINGS AND MEDITATE WITH THEIR EYES CLOSED

 

THE AMISH: PUBLISHERS WHO DON'T USE MIKES.....THEY SPEAK RIGHT OUT

 

THE SCREAMERS: THE KIDS WHO WANT TO BE HEARD

 

THE OBLIVIOUS ONES: THE SISTERS WHO NO ONE CAN HEAR BECAUSE THEY HOLD THE MIKE ON THEIR LAP WHILE THEY'RE TALKING

 

THE KNUCKLEBALLER: THE PUBLISHER WHO THROWS CURVE BALLS TO THE CONDUCTOR BY THEIR WACKO COMMENTS

 

THE ABC'ERS: THE PUBLISHERS WHO WITHOUT FAIL ANSWER THE B AND C QUESTIONS TOO

 

THE MAGICIAN: THE CONDUCTOR WHO WANTS YOU TO READ HIS MIND FOR THE ANSWERS

 

SCHOOL CONDUCTORS

 

THE TERMINATOR: HE NEVER PASSES ANYBODY ESPECIALLY HIS WIFE

 

THE CLOCKMAN: HE COUNSELS EVERY PUBLISHER ON TIMING

 

THE UTOPIAN DREAMER: HE ONLY EVER GIVES POSITIVE COUNSEL BECAUSE THEY DESERVE IT

 

THE ENCORE GIVER: HE GIVES AN ENCORE PRESENTATION OF THE INFORMATION AFTER EVERY TALK

 

THE TALK SLIP FORGETTER: THE ONE WHO ALWAYS HAS TO GO BACK TO HIS SEAT TO GET THE STUDENT'S SLIP

 

HOW MANY CAN YOU TICK OFF?

 

Classic..... We have them. Those in RED.

It is not important where we serve nor in what capacity but, rather, whom we serve. MARKUS HARTLIEF

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never saw this list before but it was in my head at Wed night meeting... as I looked around our congregation finding myself realizing we had some of them too,

had to hold back the silent chuckles.

                   At that time those who fear Jehovah spoke with one another, each one with his companion,

                             and Jehovah kept paying attention and listening..." ~ Malachi 3:16

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