How To Give Your Cat A Pill

[GrumpysWife]

How to Give Your Cat a Pill

 

Grasp cat firmly in your arms. Cradle its head on your elbow, just as if you were giving baby a bottle.

Coo confidently, "That's a nice kitty." Drop pill into its mouth. Retrieve cat from top of lamp and pill from under sofa.

 

Follow same procedure as in 1, but hold cat's front paws down with left hand and back paws down with elbow of right arm.

Poke pill into its mouth with right forefinger.

 

Retrieve cat from under bed. Get new pill from bottle. (Resist impulse to get new cat.)

 

Again proceed as in 1, except when you have cat firmly cradled in bottle-feeding position, sit down on edge of chair, fold your torso over cat, bring your right hand over your left elbow, open cat's mouth by lifting the upper jaw and pop the pill in - quickly. Since your head is down by your knees, you won't be able to see what you're doing. That's just as well.

 

Leave cat hanging on drapes. Leave pill in your hair.

 

If you're a woman, have a good cry. If you're a man, have a good cry.

 

Now pull yourself together. Who's the boss here anyway? Retrieve cat and pill. Assuming position 1, say sternly, "Who's the boss here, anyway?" Open cat's mouth, take pill and...Oooops!

 

This isn't working, is it? Collapse and think. Aha! Those flashing claws are causing the chaos.

 

Crawl to linen closet. Drag back large beach towel. Spread towel on floor.

 

Retrieve cat from kitchen counter and pill from potted plant.

 

Spread cat on towel near one end with its head over long edge.

 

Flatten cat's front and back legs over its stomach. (Resist impulse to flatten cat.)

 

Roll cat in towel. Work fast; time and tabbies wait for no man - or woman.

 

Resume position 1. Rotate your left hand to cat's head.

Press its; mouth at the jaw hinges like opening the petals of a snapdragon.

Drop pill into cat's mouth and poke gently. Voila! It's done.

 

Vacuum up loose fur (cat's). Apply bandages to wounds (yours).

 

Take two aspirins and lie down. Take extended rest.

 

I think a stiff drink at this point would be better!

 

 

[pnutts]

I resemble that remark ( apply bandages to wounds ). You should try to "Give a Cat a Bath"  ( not sure if I still have it as a file )       

[GrumpysWife]

I think I've seen that one too but don't have it. My poor computer has so much junk on it and today I was weeding some stuff out and found that one.

[feather]

I'm more of a dog person but that was hysterical 

... passing it on to my 'cat people' friends 

[tucker]

Oh, boy! Can I relate to that! I have 3 cats. I'm not a dog person. My cat found some poison and had to be medicated. At least she was a kitten and small...then. I hope to never experience that again

[Rajan]

I have no difficulty in feeding my cat

 

 

 

[Miss Bea]

Stumbled on this one, and it works. Innocent little Snuggles became Edward Scissorhands when it was pill time. Some vets have a, " pill shooter". It costs about $7.00, and is so worth it. Be gentle, and have a syringe, (from vet) on hand, with a bit of water in it. That encourages the pill to go down. I tell you, it works.

[Astrid]

It's so easy with dogs:

 

take some cheese, make a hole in it, put pill in this hole, call you doggie, ask him to sit, give him piece of cheese as a treat. Finished. *lol*