So I Hung Up on My Mom this Afternoon

[Brother_Bliss]

I turned 34 today, which usually warrants a phone call from a few unbelieving relatives (and this year, a wall full of posts on facebook). I have made it very clear to my family what the rules are, namely, that I am indifferent towards someone wishing me a "happy birthday". It is essentially the same as saying "happy anniversary" and the person making the statement is really just wishing you well. There is nothing wrong with that.

However, do not put me on a pedestal and revere me by singing songs of praise. I too am just a man. Do not bring offerings and sacrifices to me wrapped up in paper with a bow. I prefer not to be worshiped.

So every year, my mother, who has always opposed the truth, calls me and typically sings over the phone. I tolerated it for a while, then last year set the phone down, and waited before picking it back up in order to make it clear that I wasn't going to listen to it.

She calls this afternoon and asks if I am busy working and I say no. She starts to sing, and I firmly say "Don't sing!" right away. She ignores me and starts into the second line of the song and I just hanged up on her.

I expected her to call back and throw a total fit, but she hasn't.

Think she got the hint this year?

Perhaps my actions were wrong though?

- Bob

[aPeacefulButterfly]

Well I see I'm not the only rebellious one on here. I have done the same thing. I'm trying to learn to have more tact though, in my old age.

You have told your mom over and over again, and just like my mom, she would do it just to make a point...in a visious way, while showing you that she does not respect you or your decisions at all!!! Well....so you had to make your point....and I personally think you handled it well. I would have probably said a few choice words that I would have regretted for a long time.

Don't worry about it, Bob...she's you mom....she'll get over it and I bet nest year she will think before she sings....LOL

Lm

[Brother_Bliss]

Don't worry about it, Bob...she's you mom....she'll get over it and I bet nest year she will think before she sings....LOL

Maybe, but then she'll sing again anyway

- Bob

[Lela]

Everyone has their own way of handling things like that but I would have probaly done the same thing by hanging up after I warned someone not to sing to me. I agree with LaRhonda she will get over it but I hope she gets the point that you dont celebrate birthdays. Maybe give it some time and send her a thinking of you card just to let her know that you still love and appreciate her thoughts. Maybe joit down a scripture for her?..

[gloreeoreo]

i'm with lela...send her a "thinking of you" card...always important to leave the door open cuz you never know when she might show interest. stranger things have happened! ;)

[Brother_Bliss]

She lives just a few towns over and I usually see her every other week. I'll see how she reacts when I pop in for a visit next time.

- Bob

[Winddove]

*-) She obviously loves you and at a "loss" as to why you're behaving that way. It's all she cares to know. She don't want to know your viewpoint -but instead - change it. Yes?

In essence, she's thinking about the same way you do: "Why won't he listen to his mother of whom loves her son very much?"

So...how do you fix it? We might ask ourselves, "What would Jesus do?" (thinking the "fruitage of the spirit")

Send her a card anyways. Mom's love it...even if just across town. That love...will "touch" her. We just can't help ourselves and it's how Jehovah works. You never fail when you show love... *-)

[Brother_Bliss]

Okay, I guess I'll do the card thing.

Us menfolk don't think the same way, but I'll have to trust you sisters know what you're talking about ;)

- Bob

[ReadYourBible]

Okay, I guess I'll do the card thing.

Us menfolk don't think the same way, but I'll have to trust you sisters know what you're talking about ;)

- Bob

How did this work out? Personally, I'm not so sure I'd have offered the 'olive branch', you've obviously gave her plenty of opportunity to respect you, and yet she chooses not to. Maybe your silence (and the dial tone LOL) would have spoken loudly than any sentence you could have ever spoken.

[Brother_Bliss]

How did this work out? Personally, I'm not so sure I'd have offered the 'olive branch', you've obviously gave her plenty of opportunity to respect you, and yet she chooses not to. Maybe your silence (and the dial tone LOL) would have spoken loudly than any sentence you could have ever spoken.

Been busy busy busy and have not taken a moment to do that. There was a baby shower that she was invited to and wanted to come to the other day, and I had tried calling her prior to that to see if she still wanted to come, and left her nice messages and all, but she never returned a call.

She's at home all the time with a broken arm that has been on the mend for a couple months now. Her new answering machine message said "Ever since the accident, I have had a hard time getting to the phone in time". Funny thing is, is that it is a cordless that sits right next to her, if not in her lap, all day long. She is officially blacklisting me :-(

It's not the first time though. This too shall pass.

- Bob

[aPeacefulButterfly]

Hahaha! Poor Bob. I was usually the one who "black listed" my Mom when she did something like that. At least you aren't as devilish as me. Now I really regret it since she is gone.

Yes....send the card....that will make her nice again.

[gloreeoreo]

a wonderful brother who passed away a few yrs ago had a favorite saying that worked well. "If it's the kind thing to do, it's the right thing to do!" the truth helps us to be better people, so show the love and send the card...whatz there to regret?

[Keepitpleasant]

"If it's the kind thing to do, it's the right thing to do!"

The kind thing is not always the easiest thing however it is such a relief to the conscience! I had a situation with a sister who yelled at me like I was a child because I corrected her when she threw a piece of candy on the ground. It disturbed me greatly but I came home and looked through my cards and found a funny yet appropriate card.

She not only received it but I know she read it because a few days later she announced that it was a nice card at the meeting for service. She has been a thorn in my side for awhile but I felt good that I not only stood up for what was right (Luke 16:10) but she was able to know that my statements were Bible based since I put them down in writing.

I used to bristle at the statement...take the high road! I always felt that it meant that the other was right and I was wrong. However now I realize the meaning of 1 Peter 3:10-12 For, “he that would love life and see good days, let him restrain his tongue from what is bad and [his] lips from speaking deception, but let him turn away from what is bad and do what is good; let him seek peace and pursue it. For [the] eyes of Jehovah are upon the righteous ones, and his ears are toward their supplication; but [the] face of Jehovah is against those doing bad things.”

[SisterWilsonChgo]

Looks like you're in a pickle Bob. Moms never consider how we as Witnesses (and they're not) feel. All they will ever know is the labor pain they endured while bringing us into the world and for this, if they want to sing the dreaded "Happy Birthday" song, they will always feel its their right to do so and of course she will be right. You better start composing that letter! She will feel validated and think she's won. You however will always have your knowledge of how this song is meaningless to you regardless of who sings it. We go through life cringing over the worldly salutations given us yet we take a deep breath and endure because we know as you have maturely pointed out; "This to shall pass" Let it pass Bob! send the card will ya? ><

[aPeacefulButterfly]

Bob....Don't tell me you haven't sent the card yet!!! What is he doing Crystal....waiting for YOU to do it for him?

[Crystal Angle]

I have mentioned it to him. Though we have been busy with Bob's Talk and now me sick with really bad headaches and now my ears and throat is hurting and I have a cough I just can't get rid of.

I just want to be first to try out the new smiley

Bob, pick up the phone and talk to mom.

Love you,

Crystal

[aPeacefulButterfly]

Tell him to send her an e-card......

I like the new smiley, BTW.

[Brother_Bliss]

I just want to be first to try out the new smiley

I like the new smiley, BTW.

The women like the new smiley with a phone. Surprise surprise.

- Bob

[aPeacefulButterfly]

[ReadYourBible]

Here's a radical thought....you've implied by the baby shower that she's close enough to you. Go see her in person. Doh, and you said she also lives 2 towns over in another message.

Take her out to lunch, show her how much you value her, discuss with her yet again your reasons why it upset you.

p.s. I HATE the phone. I can't read the other persons body language, I can't see them smile/grimace etc., nor can I smell their perfume/cologne or see whether they really need me to sit for a few minutes more just to talk.

[Micah]

I turned 34 today, which usually warrants a phone call from a few unbelieving relatives (and this year, a wall full of posts on facebook). I have made it very clear to my family what the rules are, namely, that I am indifferent towards someone wishing me a "happy birthday". It is essentially the same as saying "happy anniversary" and the person making the statement is really just wishing you well. There is nothing wrong with that.

However, do not put me on a pedestal and revere me by singing songs of praise. I too am just a man. Do not bring offerings and sacrifices to me wrapped up in paper with a bow. I prefer not to be worshiped.

So every year, my mother, who has always opposed the truth, calls me and typically sings over the phone. I tolerated it for a while, then last year set the phone down, and waited before picking it back up in order to make it clear that I wasn't going to listen to it.

She calls this afternoon and asks if I am busy working and I say no. She starts to sing, and I firmly say "Don't sing!" right away. She ignores me and starts into the second line of the song and I just hanged up on her.

I expected her to call back and throw a total fit, but she hasn't.

Think she got the hint this year?

Perhaps my actions were wrong though?

- Bob

Being this post is over 2 years old, I am curious, did she get the message???

[Brother_Bliss]

Being this post is over 2 years old, I am curious, did she get the message???

lol! I suppose so. We talked about it afterwards. She actually had this little rhyme all written out with different lyrics for that special occasion, and never got to say them to me because I hung up as soon as I recognized the tune and the words "Happy Birthday".

Hanging up was wrong of me. It's not showing much honor to my mother.

[surfergirl]

I turned 34 today, which usually warrants a phone call from a few unbelieving relatives (and this year, a wall full of posts on facebook). I have made it very clear to my family what the rules are, namely, that I am indifferent towards someone wishing me a "happy birthday". It is essentially the same as saying "happy anniversary" and the person making the statement is really just wishing you well. There is nothing wrong with that.

However, do not put me on a pedestal and revere me by singing songs of praise. I too am just a man. Do not bring offerings and sacrifices to me wrapped up in paper with a bow. I prefer not to be worshiped.

So every year, my mother, who has always opposed the truth, calls me and typically sings over the phone. I tolerated it for a while, then last year set the phone down, and waited before picking it back up in order to make it clear that I wasn't going to listen to it.

She calls this afternoon and asks if I am busy working and I say no. She starts to sing, and I firmly say "Don't sing!" right away. She ignores me and starts into the second line of the song and I just hanged up on her.

Hey Bob sorry that you have this situation it's not pleasant. to be there.

I saw my mum go thru a similar situation with her dad. I loved my grandfather he was so much fun but he wasn't a witness

he was very political minded in the early 60's to the 80"s he was mayor. so that was his life.

and mum has four sisters they are not in the truth. they don't have the same respect either. i use to love to get to gether

with them. but then they would slag Mum and when nana died in 1984 we lived over the bridge basically so mum would would cook dinner every wednsday and take it to him up until he died he was 100 yrs so she cared for him and when I finished school I would go and clean his house with her. towards the end he could see a differnce between mum and her sisters. one time Da was in hospital I just had my daughter there was so much happening we thought he was going to die

that week and one of mum's sisters who had a son inlaw was is a lawyer, and Da was under a lot of morphine. in and out.

but he heard his daughter mum's sister changing the will. going against Da's wishes. so much happened. it was all dirty stuff. so much unfair stuff happened . when Da died the sisters because mum is a witness all excluded her didn't acknowledge the care she had given Da. for not being there at birthdays and christmas all the pagan stuff. they don't speak to her now. there is a real difference between those that love Jah and don't.. Its hard even when you mum or grandparents aren't in the truff. one of my cousins married a muslem. he was hard to deal with. but one time he we had a family get together and it was this time of year he wouldn't eat pork or anything that when against his beliefs my aunties made so much of a fuss it was embarasing..so I see your point. Its all to do with respect for another person. I wish you all the best BRO.

[LuanaGlobal]

Keep up your firm stand in not letting her force you into a celebration.

In the same boat, kinda:boating:

What I have been facing is the my father traveling to my home from another state on my birth date to try to force me or catch me celebrating.

This is a person that never lets up.

I say put your foot down, and take a firm stand.

[boodles]

Sneaky Micah, bringing up a bunch of old threads!

I suggest putting a date on the thread title so we know when old threads are "resurrected". Sometimes we don't look at the date when we first click on it. Or have different years be different colors?

Oh well, it's fun to be surprised when you realize, "Oh, this happened 3 years ago!"