Life

[dilip kumar]

Sent from my LG-E988

[dilip kumar]

ONCE UPON A TIME!

When Window was just a square hole in a room & Application was something written on a paper.

When Keyboard was a Piano and Mouse just an animal.

When File was an important office material and Hard Drive just an uncomfortable road trip.

When Cut was done with knife and Paste with glu. When Web was a spider's home and virus was flu. When Apple and Blackberry were just fruits ....

That's when we had a lot of time forFamily and Friends!

[dilip kumar]

An Economist beautifully explained two reasons for having 2 wifes.

A- Monopoly should be broken.

B- Competition improves the quality of service.

If u have 1 wife,

She fights with u!

If u have 2 wife's,

They will fight for u!

Feel the difference & decide

[dilip kumar]

Guys so read it

Worth reading

Power of Money

By Adam Khoo ( Singapore 's youngest millionaire at 26 yrs.)

Some of you may already know that I travel around the region pretty frequently, having to visit and conduct seminars at my offices in Malaysia , Indonesia , Thailand and Suzhou ( China ) . I am in the airport almost every other week so I get to bump into many people who have attended my seminars or have read my books.

Recently, someone came up to me on a plane to KL and looked rather shocked. He asked, 'How come a millionaire like you is traveling economy?' My reply was, 'That's why I am a millionaire. ' He still looked pretty confused.

This again confirms that greatest lie ever told about wealth (which I wrote about in my latest book 'Secrets of Self-Made Millionaires'). Many people have been brainwashed to think that millionaires have to wear Gucci, Hugo Boss, Rolex, and sit on first class in air travel. This is why so many people never become rich because the moment they earn more money, they think that it is only natural that they spend more, putting them back to square one.

The truth is that most self-made millionaires are frugal and only spend on what is necessary and of value. That is why they are able to accumulate and multiply their wealth so much faster.

Over the last 7 years, I have saved about 80% of my income while today I save only about 60% (because I have my wife, mother in law, 2 maids, 2 kids, etc. to support). Still, it is way above most people who save 10% of their income (if they are lucky).

I refuse to buy a first class ticket or to buy a $300 shirt because I think that it is a complete waste of money. However, I happily pay $1,300 to send my 2-year old daughter to Julia Gabriel Speech and Drama without thinking twice.

When I joined the YEO (Young Entrepreneur's Orgn) a few years back (YEO is an exclusive club open to those who are under 40 and make over $1m a year in their own business), I discovered that those who were self-made thought like me. Many of them with net worth well over $5 m, travelled economy class and some even drove Toyotas and Nissans, not Audis, Mercs, BMWs..

I noticed that it was only those who never had to work hard to build their own wealth (there were also a few ministers' and tycoons' sons in the club) who spent like there was no tomorrow. Somehow, when you did not have to build everything from scratch, you do not really value money. This is precisely the reason why a family's wealth (no matter how much) rarely lasts past the third generation.

Thank God my rich dad foresaw this terrible possibility and refused to give me a cent to start my business.

Then some people ask me, 'What is the point in making so much money if you don't enjoy it?' The thing is that I don't really find happiness in buying branded clothes, jewellery or sitting first class. Even if buying something makes me happy it is only for a while, it does not last.

Material happiness never lasts, it just gives you a quick fix. After a while you feel lousy again and have to buy the next thing which you think will make you happy. I always think that if you need material things to make you happy, then you live a pretty sad and unfulfilled life..

Instead, what makes me happy is when I see my children laughing and playing and learning so fast. What makes me happy is when I see my companies and trainers reaching more and more people every year in so many more countries.

What makes me really happy is when I read all the emails about how my books and seminars have touched and inspired someone's life.

What makes me really happy is reading all your wonderful posts about how this blog is inspiring you. This happiness makes me feel really good for a long time, much much more than what a Rolex would do for me.

I think the point I want to put across is that happiness must come from doing your life's work (be it teaching, building homes, designing, trading, winning tournaments etc.) and the money that comes is only a by-product. If you hate what you are doing and rely on the money you earn to make you happy by buying stuff, then I think that you are living a life of meaninglessness

A must read

Sent from my LG-E988

[dilip kumar]

Drugs For Husbands!

New drugs for men created by women scientists are waiting for FDA approval...

ANIVERSIA: Triggers memories for birthdays and anniversaries...

SLIMOXIL: Widens male cornea making wives appear slim...

SPORTOBLIND X: Reacts with optic nerve to prevent men from recognizing the word "Sports" on TV...

WORKOCETAMOL: Generates an insatiable desire in men to do household chores...

SHOPHOFOBEX: Makes men eager to take wives for shopping every week and wait patiently...

FLIRTONATE-N: It reduces vision whenever a pretty woman passes by. 

[dilip kumar]

A Spanish Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.'

'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'

A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

(THIS GETS BETTER!)

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems,

but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.

[dilip kumar]

WHY DO COUPLES FIGHT!

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started.

*************************

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 100 in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a weighing scale.

And then the fight started.

***************************

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.

So, I took her to a petrol pump

And then the fight started.

*************************

My wife is standing & looking in the bedroom mirror.

She is not happy with what she sees and says to me,'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

I replied, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And then the fight started.

***************************

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

"Somewhere I've not been in a long time."

So I took her to the kitchen.

Then the fight started...

For all married couples..



Sent from my LG-E988

[dilip kumar]

Thought for the day

"Even God does not like the hardness of Tongue & Heart,

That's why he made them boneless

Be soft to others

Gud morning

[dilip kumar]

To encourage me,I was sent this messages. So pls enjoy.

Sent from my LG-E988

[Dages]

This is not the proper forum to post these

[Shawnster]

No, but they are humorous.  I'll move it to the appropriate section.

[dilip kumar]

Super Insults:

[dilip kumar]

Humans get rich as they grow old;

SILVER in hair,

GOLD in teeth,

SUGAR in blood,

PRECIOUS STONES in kidney,

AND

A never ending supply of gas.



Sent from my LG-E988

[dilip kumar]

Why do we sometimes write 'etc' at the end in the exam?

bcoz it means...

E - End of

T - Thinking

C - Capacity.

-----------------------------------

How to Create d Biggest Doubt in ur Wife's Mind 4 u ?

Just Suddenly send her SMS Saying..

"I Luv u too" (GAME OVER!)

-----------------------------------

When do you know u r in love ?

Ans : When you start searching for the cheapest mobile plan

-----------------------------------

What is the Diff b/w Young Age & Old Age?

Simple : In Young Age Phone Is Full Of Darlings Numbers.

In Old Age : Its Full of Doctors Numbers.

-----------------------------------

"Why is Facebook such a hit ?

It works on the principle that

'People are more interested in others life than their own.

-----------------------------------

A Question Asked In A Talent Test: If You Are Married To 1 Of The Twin Sisters, How would You Recognize Your WIFE?

The Best Answer : Why d Hell Should I recognize ?

-----------------------------------

We Pronounce 22 as Twenty Two,

33 as Thirty Three,

44 as Forty Four,

55 as Fifty Five,

Why not 11 as Onety One?

Doubt By last bench association.

-----------------------------------

What is the diff between "GHAZAL" & "LECTURE" ?

Every word spoken by the girlfriend is "GHAZAL"

and

Every word spoken by wife is "LECTURE"

-----------------------------------

Whats d diff btwn Pongal n idly?

think...think..think...

Ans : U ll get a holiday for pongal but not for idly.

-----------------------------------

What will be the girl's name born on 1st of APRIL ?

Guess Guess Guess Guess

Ans : "FOOLAN DEVI..

-----------------------------------

Why does d bride & groom exchange garlands at d time of wedding.....

B'coz they

say to each other affectionately that : "DARLING NOW U R DEAD"...

-----------------------------------

What is the height of confusion?

Two earth worms Playing HIDE AND SEEK in a Plate full of noodles.

-----------------------------------

Wat is d Biggest Benefit of having a crush in

d same college where u study ?

Ans 100% Attendanzzz

-----------------------------------

Teacher: What Is The Difference Between HIMAMI & TSUNAMI ?

Pappu : HIMAMI is Face Wash, TSUNAMI is Total Wash.!

-----------------------------------

When you are in love,

Wonders happen.

But once you get married,

You wonder, what happened.

-----------------------------------

Philosophy of marriage :

At the beginning,

every wife treats her husband as GOD..

Later, somehow don't know why..

alphabets get reversed..

-----------------------------------

S ecret formula for married couples...

"Love One Another"

And if it doesn't work, bring the last word in the middle.!!!!

-----------------------------------

Dont laugh alone pass it on !!!

[dilip kumar]

Old man has 8 hair on his head.

He went to Barber shop.

Barber in anger asked:

shall i cut or count ?

Old man smiled and said:

"Colour it!"

LIFE is to enjoy with whatever you have with you, keep smiling

If you feel STRESSED,

Give yourself A Break.

Enjoy Some..

Icecream

Choclates

Candy

Cake

Why?

B'Coz

STRESSED if Spelled backwards is

DESSERTS

Alphabetic advice for you:

A B C

Avoid Boring Company..

D E F

Don't Entertain Fools..

G H I

Go for High Ideas .

J K L M

Just Keep a friend like ME..

N O P

Never Overlook the Poor n suffering..

Q R S

Quit Reacting to Silly tales..

T U V

Tune Urself for ur Victory..

W X Y Z

We Xpect You to Zoom ahead in life

Very ....beautiful lines pls store. 

The 26 letters of the English alphabet are so intelligently arranged...they show you the way of life....

"A"lways "B"e "C"ool. "D"on't have "E"go with "F"riends n Family. "G"iveup "H"urting "I"ndividuals."J"ust "K"eep "L"oving "M"ankind. "N"ever "O"mit "P"rayers. "Q"uietly "R"emember God. "S"peak "T"ruth. "U"se "V"alid "W"ords. "X"press "Y"our "Z"eal.

SHARE this Awesome msg....

[dilip kumar]

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident.

It's a bad one, caused by the woman's reckless driving.

Both of their cars are demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says;

“So, you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman.

Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt.

This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."

The man replied," I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!

The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle.

My car is completely damaged, but this bottle of wine didn't break.

Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then she hands the bottle to the man.

The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.

The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

She replies, "Nah. I think I'll just wait for the police to come and collect their evidence."

Adam ate the apple again !

Men will NEVER learn !

Women will Never change!!

Sent from my LG-E988

[dilip kumar]

Superb Family Introduction!!!

A man is introducing his family:

1. This is my wife..... Google Raani... if u ask one question she wud give many relevant and irrelevant answers ...!!!

2. This is our son.. Facebook Kumar... he makes sure that our personal matters reaches the whole colony...!!!

3. This is our daughter .... Twitter Kumari... whole colony folow her...!!!

4. This is my

Whatsapp mother- she buzzes all day commenting on everything..!

5. And i am, Orkut Kumar... i had become irrevelant..!!!

[dilip kumar]

Why go to the kingdom hall?

A Christian wrote to the editor of a newspaper complaining it made no sense to go to the Kingdom Hall every Sunday or to other meetings during the week.

I've been attending for 30 years now .......In that time I have heard something like 3000 public talks....but for the life of me I can not remember a single one of them !

I think I am wasting my time & the Brothers are wasting theirs by giving bible based talks at all !

This started a real controversy in the "Letters to the editor column , much to the delight of the editor.

It went on for weeks.....Until someone wrote this........Clincher:

I've been married for 30 years now , in that time my wife has cooked around 32,000 meals but for the life of me I can nor remember the entire menu for a single one of those meals. Yet I know this......Every one of them nourished me & gave me the strength I needed to do my work. If my wife had not given me those meals ,I would be physically dead today.......Like wise if I had not gone to the Kingdom Hall for nourishment I would be spiritually dead today !

Sent from my LG-E988