A great night at work last night!

[LeslieDean]

I took care of a dementia patient last night which I usually find very taxing.  He was a delight. he was there under adult protective services for suspected elder at the hands of his son and DIL.    Everytime I entered his room he would have a random commentary for me.  

 

 I had to restart his IV and when I was pulling on my gloves he goes 'Now that's a good idea.' I thought for a second and replied 'Yeah.  It's established hospital policy that we follow to help impede the spread of germs'.  Without missing a beat he thoughtfully replied 'I thought it was to prevent fingerprints and help hide evidence.' 

 

Next time I am giving him medication and he tells me he sure hopes his doctor gets there soon to release him where he can drive to the nursing home and get his wallet and drivers license.  He had an 'important' event to attend and he had to get to Dallas by Sunday because he was giving a sermon to a huge congregation.  My tech walked in to get his BG and I said 'tell Keanna what your going to be doing.  He repeated the same story except the place was now Houston and it was going to be televised.  I said 'oh, I thought you said you were going to Dallas.'  His reply?  'Dallas. Houston. Does it really matter?  There is sinners everywhere.'  

 

Another time, 

I had to remove his watch, a very cheap white plastic watch that looked like it came from a gum ball machine.  He goes 'that's a nice watch isn't it?  Do you want to know the story behind this watch?'  I knew it was going to be good based simply on the other stories he had told me.  If HE thought it came with a story it truly must.  Then he relates 'I was in a gas station bathroom in McAllister, Oklahoma when a criminal barged in.  I knew he was trouble by his beady  eyes and high forehead.  He told me he had to pass a 'pi--' test or they were hauling his a-- to jail.  I saw that watch and knew it must be a one of a kind (LOL) so I told him I would swap my clean urine for his  nice watch.  And that my dear, is how I got this fancy watch'. 

 

It broke my heart to think of his mistreatment and that he is spending his final years in a nursing home.    I hope he is there tonight and I get the privilege of taking care of this gentlemen.  He throughly entertained me. 

[Life4u]

2 hours ago, LeslieDean said:

I took care of a dementia patient last night which I usually find very taxing.  He was a delight. he was there under adult protective services for suspected elder at the hands of his son and DIL.    Everytime I entered his room he would have a random commentary for me.  

 

  He throughly entertained me. 

Leslie,  he probably was feeling so good to be around nice people since he had been abused, allegedly! I'm more than confident he felt good in your presence with you being a faithful JW, displaying the fruits of the Holy Spirit. 

 

I am amused at some people with dementia because they can show so much humor at times. My M~I~L had it and when I say she keep me laughing, she really did!  Not that the things she did and said were that funny in itself but I really laughed because I knew one day that could be who I am.  Therefore, to keep from crying I had to laugh then and still today, when I remember her, a beautiful, strong in the faith loyal servant of Jehovah. 

 

This is for ,

She  took a pair of her husband's  pajamas and split the middle part, put her head through the opening and hers arms through the legs! When I seen her it was comical and sad too.

 

The good thing is when she is resurrected she will not have to be like that any more. She will not be sick again ever! She also taught me a lot during her sick days with dementia.  She was struggling to hold fast to her spiritual routine even when she could not put her thoughts together and accomplish what she had always done before becoming sick. And I seen that in her.  Once I found her sitting in a broken down car parked in the yard. She was ready to go to the Kingdom Hall for meeting and as she sat there waiting she prayed for her brothers and sisters.  I thought wow! how faithful and selfless of her to be prayerful and then to be praying for others in her condition. Till this day I remember to pray for my brothers and sisters too like more than before.  I  talked to a sister at meeting a couple of weeks ago and she stated how hard and sad it was for her family dealing with their mother who has dementia. I told her that I was happy she told meso I can pray for her and her.

 

Thanks Leslie for the memories of my M~I~L, although indirectly through your good night at work with your patient who has dementia. 

[LeslieDean]

In nursing school in 1980, we were taught to re-orient the patient with dementia.  This is futile!  You become quickly exhausted and frustrated because you are fighting a loosing battle.  That philology has since changed.  The one thing that was a key thought for me was when a doctor said 'do not correct a patient that believes a loved one is coming, or they ask where they are, do not be so unkind as to tell them they have died.  Just side step.  I am sure you will see them later. Or 'you eat your dinner now and I'm sure they will be here later.'  For that type of patient they will not retain the information so if you tell them the truth, 'your husband has died--he won't be able to be here'--they are essentially hearing this for the very first time.  Every time they hear it!  Imagine how hurt you felt when someone you loved died and you heard it for the first time.  Now think about hearing that 10, 20 or perhaps 50 times a day.  Spare them that grief.  Much kinder to them and to you.  You can focus on their care, appreciate what they are going through, and love them for what they were and still are if not for this dreaded disease.  I see many who still correct or ignore their constant questions.  I prefer to just see where this interaction takes us.  

 

Im sorry to hear about your MIL. I know you will most appreciate her return.

Edited June 28, 2017 by LeslieDean

[Life4u]

So true Leslie. You have to put yourself in their shoes and relate.

 

My M~I~L's husband was sick and dieing in the house with her and she was not aware of this due to the dementia.  They had to have different bedrooms because he was so sick. He actually died while at home with her and she knew it not. I guess that was a protection in a  sense, her not being aware.  So sad all the way around it. 

 

 

Edited June 28, 2017 by loving life
Correction

[dove]

On 6/28/2017 at 5:15 PM, LeslieDean said:

In nursing school in 1980, we were taught to re-orient the patient with dementia.  This is futile!  You become quickly exhausted and frustrated because you are fighting a loosing battle.  That philology has since changed.  The one thing that was a key thought for me was when a doctor said 'do not correct a patient that believes a loved one is coming, or they ask where they are, do not be so unkind as to tell them they have died.  Just side step.  I am sure you will see them later. Or 'you eat your dinner now and I'm sure they will be here later.'  For that type of patient they will not retain the information so if you tell them the truth, 'your husband has died--he won't be able to be here'--they are essentially hearing this for the very first time.  Every time they hear it!  Imagine how hurt you felt when someone you loved died and you heard it for the first time.  Now think about hearing that 10, 20 or perhaps 50 times a day.  Spare them that grief.  Much kinder to them and to you.  You can focus on their care, appreciate what they are going through, and love them for what they were and still are if not for this dreaded disease.  I see many who still correct or ignore their constant questions.  I prefer to just see where this interaction takes us.  

 

Im sorry to hear about your MIL. I know you will most appreciate her return.

 

This course of action also holds true for those with schizophrenia. My brother was afflicted with this condition and lived in fear of a global scam 'out to get him'. No matter where he was, there was someone there 'watching him'. But it was not noticeable that he was like this, only if you were close to him as I was, and he told me, I would not have known about it. He seemed normal in other respects.

To try to get rid of his fear I would tell him it was not real, that no one was trying to hurt him,  it was a sickness he had that made him believe that. No amount of explaining made any difference. These ones have had their mental powers overtaken with the disease so that they can no longer reason on a normal level. I could never change his mind.

And yet he functioned well in other ways, held down a part time job,had a good memory, no dementia, and could reason well in other ways. For example, when he had to report to the Veteran's Admin for something, they questioned him about the scam but he wouldn't answer their questions knowing full well that they would lock him up and or drug him up if he spoke about it. He figured that out; either that or he thought they were part of the scam.

He was a gentle soul, nicknamed 'gentle Pete' by those who knew him, had a high IQ, a paratrooper in the Green Berets. (I couldn't understand how I his sister was afraid to fly in a plane and he jumped out of them, on purpose)  And super religious..he once took a bus ride to another state to give a tenth of his money to an evangelizer on tv. (he was homeless before I found him again at the time and didn't have much money but he deeply believed this was expected of a Christian). But I couldn't make him see the Truth.

He's gone for now but I'm looking forward to seeing him well in mind and body.

Anyway, I did finally accept the way it was and I think that helped us both to deal with it in a better way.