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So, you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman


Brother_Bliss

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A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one.

Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt. God works in mysterious ways. After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling about women drivers.

The woman says, 'So, you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should be friends and live in peace for the rest of our days.'

Flattered, the man replies, 'Oh yes, I agree completely, this must be a sign from God! But you're still at fault...women shouldn't be allowed to drive.'

The woman continues, 'And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.

She hands the bottle to the man.

The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.

The woman takes the bottle, puts the cap back on and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, 'Aren't you having any?'

The woman replies, 'No. I think I'll just wait for the police...'

MORAL OF THE STORY:

Women are clever.

Don't mess with them.

 


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A man was reading the newspaper during breakfast and said to his wife, "Look at this. Another beautiful actress is going to marry a baseball player who's a total dope!

I'll never understand why the biggest jerks get the hottest wives."

His wife said, 'Thank you.'

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Farmer Frank had a nagging wife who made his life miserable. The only real peace that he got was when he was out in the field plowing.

One day when he was out in the field, Frank's wife brought his lunch to him. Then she stayed while he quietly ate and berated him with a constant stream of nagging and complaining. Suddenly, Frank's old mule kicked up his back legs, striking the wife in the head, and killing her instantly.

At the wake, Frank's minister noticed that when the women offered their sympathy to Frank he would nod his head up and down. But when the men came up and spoke quietly to him, he would shake his head from side to side.

When the wake was over and all the mourners had left, the minister approached Frank and asked, "Why was it that you nodded your head up and down to all the women and shook your head from side to side to all the men?"

Well, Frank replied, "The women all said how nice she looked, and her dress was so pretty, so I agreed by nodding my head up and down. The men all asked, 'Is that mule for sale!?'"

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A man was reading the newspaper during breakfast and said to his wife, "Look at this. Another beautiful actress is going to marry a baseball player who's a total dope!

I'll never understand why the biggest jerks get the hottest wives."

His wife said, 'Thank you.'

:lol1: That was GREAT!!!

Plan ahead as if Armageddon will not come in your lifetime, but lead your life as if it will come tomorrow (w 2004 Dec. 1 page 29)

 

 

 

 

Soon .....

 

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The last fight was my fault. My wife asked' date=' "What's on the TV?" I said," Dust!"[/quote'] I am saying this tonight!!! :lol1:
Let us know how you make out..........

74728=4173-white flag.gif

For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.

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The last fight was my fault. My wife asked' date=' "What's on the TV?" I said," Dust!"[/quote'] I am saying this tonight!!! :lol1:
Let us know how you make out..........

74728=4173-white flag.gif

Do you suppose after that I could tell her the one about the ball players and then "I'll never understand why the biggest jerks get the hottest wives." She just might say - 'Thank you.'
Plan ahead as if Armageddon will not come in your lifetime, but lead your life as if it will come tomorrow (w 2004 Dec. 1 page 29)

 

 

 

 

Soon .....

 

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So, she got the joke about how the prettiest women always marry the biggest jerk RIGHT AWAY.

Huh, it took me a few minutes to think about it before I got it, I wonder why she was able to get so quick. Oh well ;)

Plan ahead as if Armageddon will not come in your lifetime, but lead your life as if it will come tomorrow (w 2004 Dec. 1 page 29)

 

 

 

 

Soon .....

 

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