Joke thread/ funny story

[surfergirl]

http://www.funny-games.biz/images/pictures/1183-flaw-in-the-plan.jpg

[purplefan]

A guy's truck broke down and he had all these penguins, and they are waddling

all over the motorway, he's panicking and trying to get his truck to start.

then this guy in another truck pulls over and asks if he needs any help?

The guy said "I am trying to take these penguins to the zoo and my truck broke down".

The bloke in the other van said. "Look dont worry ill take the penguins to the zoo and you get your truck sorted".

The guy was very grateful, and said look hear is £!00 to take them".

So eventually he gets his truck to start and in town he sees the guy who stopped to help,

and all the penguins are waddling behind him.

The guy is furious and Shouts.

"Hay! mate, i though i gave you £100 to take them penguins to the zoo".

The guy reply. "Well i did, and I've got some money left over, so now Im taking them to the moves".

[purplefan]

><:D I know a few Elders that if you shin a torch in one ear, the beam comes out the other.

[Mrs. Musky]

An old man walks into the barbershop for a shave and a haircut, but he tells

the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled

from age.

The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells him

to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.

When he's finished, the old man tells the barber that was the cleanest shave

he's had in years. But he wanted to know what would have happened if he had

swallowed that little ball.

The barber replied: "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does".

[lavritt]

An old man walks into the barbershop for a shave and a haircut, but he tells

the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled

from age.

The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells him

to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.

When he's finished, the old man tells the barber that was the cleanest shave

he's had in years. But he wanted to know what would have happened if he had

swallowed that little ball.

The barber replied: "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does".

[Mrs. Musky]

Yep, that was baaaad.....sorry! (kinda..LOL)

[Rajan]

Good husbands always appreciate their wives. see....

Attached files

[Rajan]

[nikviz]

For all who loves football (for Americans Soccer) and every night we watch european cup 2012.

[hayhauler]

In the first grade the teacher had given each student a sentence to make a sentence complete sentence.

When she came to Bobby she ask, "Bobby have you got a complete sentence with your word?"

Bobby said, "Not yet."So his teacher with confidence said, "Bobby I will go to rest of the students and then come back to you after all others have finished adding that his word was fascinate.

When she came back to Bobby he was very excited because he had thought of a complete sentence with his word..

His teacher came to his desk and he excitedly says, "Teacher I have got it teacher!!!! My Uncle Bill bought a coat with twelve buttons on it and his belly was so big he could only fasten eight!!!!"

[GrumpysWife]

Here's one for Nikos.

[GrumpysWife]

One for Musky.

[GrumpysWife]

And one for Jerry.

[GrumpysWife]

And one for Leslie.

[hayhauler]

Two sub-wooofers

[trottigy]

I love that!! Totally scrumptious

[Hallett 82]

In a world where we are blaze' about internet speeds, Jumbo Jets, Fast trains, heart transplants and all manner of sciences . . .we still look at the picture of the two puppies Randy posted and smile.

Gorgeous picture. ><

[Greenfield]

I love that!! Totally scrumptious

Woah!! Watch how this guy uses that term.

[Greenfield]

Look who else is preaching

[Greenfield]

Good husbands always appreciate their wives. see....

Rajan, how did you get a picture of Grumpy and Vernalee?

[Rajan]

Do not underestimate children while teaching.....

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, "Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait."

Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus."

[Rajan]

I have found that I got two parts in my brain.

LEFT part and RIGHT part.

In the Right part I found that nothing is Left.

In the Left part I found that nothing is Right.

I am in a dilemma. Please help..............

[Musky]

Billy Bob and Jim worked for the Little Rock airport loading luggage. It was Friday night and it was almost quitting time.

As they were relaxing after work, they started talking about what to do on Friday night.

Billy said he'd sure like to go out and get drunk, but really couldn't afford it this week and besides, he didn't like the bad hangover he always ended up with the next morning.

Jim asked him if he had ever drank Jet fuel, because he had heard that it was mostly alcohol and actually tasted pretty good and didn't have the bad hangover affect the next day. Plus since they had easy access to it, it would be free for them.

Billy said he hadn't but was willing to try it, so they skeptically got some and tasted it.

"Hey this isn't bad at all" said Jim, and Billy agreed.

So they both got really drunk and when he woke up at home the next morning, Billy felt great! No hangover at all. He was really impressed!

A few minutes after he woke up his phone rang and it was Jim asking him how he felt.

"I feel really good, Jim that was a great idea, free booze and no hangover at all"!

"Me too, said Jim, but have you farted yet"?

"No" said Billy.

Jim said "Well don't, because I'm in Phoenix"!

[surfergirl]

http://www.fishingpixels.com/funny/pictures/deertree2.jpg

[GrumpysWife]

That guy better look out. When a deer gets scared he usually takes a dump. I always say, it's a good thing cows don't have wings.