Is it confidence or is it arrogance?

[DancesWithWife]

I find it interesting that we can look at someone and come to different conclusions. We can mistake confidence for arrogance and vise versa. How do we know when a person is just being confident. Throughout my years of being a JW I have been told others we are arrogant in our views. I have also heard this of other faiths and sometimes Christianity as a whole.

 

I was thinking of the Apostle Peter, was he  confident in his thinking that he would never leave Jesus or was there a measure or arrogance? And how about the rest of the Apostles when they said they would never leave Jesus either? How their need for a prominence in the Kingdom? I read one statement that spoke of both arrogant and confident ones, it put it this way:

"People may mistake confidence for arrogance, especially if it makes them feel uncomfortable. Confident people can feel insecure, jealous, or self-doubtful when they see someone else being confident. To avoid these uncomfortable feelings, they may label the confident person as arrogant"

 

The article pointed to 3 areas that should be looked at such as

1) Cultural differences where it mentioned "Arrogance may be evaluated or valued differently across cultures. For example, some studies suggest that overconfidence is more common when performance is lower, and that exposure to someone's behavior can influence how others behave."

 

2). Lack of self-awareness:

"Arrogant people may not be aware of their weaknesses and may exaggerate their strengths. They may also have an inaccurate perception of how others see them, and may not appreciate others' value."

 

3).Know-it-all attitude:

"Arrogant people may believe they have nothing to learn from others, and may act like know-it-alls. They may fight to be right, show others are wrong, and not listen to other people's views."

 

A number of years ago a Circuit Overseer was giving a talk that basically spoke of confidence vs arrogance. One of the final points was that in the end, some people are just jerks. Dr. Lara Pence made an interesting comment when she said "there is a fine line between arrogance and confidence. and as our society inches further and further away from being able to withstand discomfort i see more and more people who confuse confidence for arrogance. the truth is that confidence often makes people uncomfortable."

 

I really like this quote ""There's a thin line between confidence and arrogance…it's called humility".  Fictional character from a tv show Michael Scott said: "The line between confidence and arrogance is very fine, and the line between arrogance and stupidity even finer."

 

Psychology Magazine: "What is the root of arrogance?

This is often considered a negative trait, as it lacks empathy and others' feelings. The root cause of arrogance could be a sense of insecurity or superiority, low self-esteem, or fear of competition."

 

I come across arrogant people every day, so I thought. How well do I really know them to come that conclusion. In most case I just come to that thinking. I have met people for whom I did not really care for at first, but after I got to know them most of the time I changed my view. Abraham Lincoln was attributed with this statement “I do not like that man, I must get to know him better.”

 

What is the antidote to arrogance? I searched and a AI generated statement said this:

 

"

Some say humility is the antidote to arrogance, and others say gratitude is. Arrogance can be a negative trait that stems from a lack of self-awareness, empathy, or appreciation for others. Here are some ways to respond to arrogance and overcome it:

• Humility: Recognize that you don't have all the answers and that others' knowledge and experience can be greater than your own.
• Gratitude: Be humble and surprised by what you have, and give thanks for relationships.
• Self-kindness: Laugh at your flaws and don't feel the need to be perfect in front of others.
• Open-mindedness: Acknowledge other people's perspectives, and be willing to agree to disagree.
• Stay calm: Avoid responding with anger, jealousy, or defensiveness.
• Focus on facts and logic: Maintain assertiveness and set boundaries

 

[Mike047]

This is a very good topic, Gregg, and one we do well to give thought to.

 

It can be a problem when giving a public talk, where often certain assumptions are made, and the speaker presents information as factual, but it is open to interpretation. In giving a talk, or in making a statement in the ministry it seems best to:

 

1. Use an accredited source for your information, and reference it. Don't claim it for yourself.

2. Make a statement that doesn't include 'I' unless essential to the point.

3. Do not say 'so we can clearly see' when what you mean is 'there is evidence to suggest' (or similar).

4. Always allow appropriate time for key points to be understood, or explain further.

 

There are other 'dos' and 'don'ts'   but better to be just a conveyer of information than a grandstander. A brother once told me 'you figured quite prominently in your talk, so try to rephrase it to give credit where it is due', and this helped me to see where 'I' fitted into the presentation.

[LeolaRootStew]

Confidence: belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities

 

Arrogance: offensive display of superiority or self-importance

 

It seems to me to be similar to the difference between humility and modesty; one is about how you feel and the other is about what you show. So if confidence is just believing we are right, then I agree we are confident. If arrogance is about displaying that you are right (and superior), other people might view us as arrogant because we are so visible in the ministry trying to show them that we are right.

 

Now I don't believe we are arrogant because the definition also has an air of superiority, whereas we don't view ourselves as superior to others. But it would be difficult for the average person to perceive that humility; thus, from their perspective, we are arrogant simply for spreading our beliefs.

[Qapla]

I used to install flooring. I knew my job and had enough confidence to take on a difficult job and not bother me to cut the flooring material into whatever size pieces I needed without worrying that they would not fit or that I couldn't fix a mistake if I made one. I would say I was confident.

 

I knew another floor installer who would tell anyone who would listen that the was the best installer in town. Mind you, he was a very good installer and knew his job. However, most people thought of him as arrogant, not confident.

 

Edited August 1 by Qapla

[Amygdala]

On 7/29/2024 at 5:47 PM, DancesWithWife said:

The root cause of arrogance could be a sense of insecurity or superiority, low self-esteem, or fear of competition."

 

That is the heart of the matter. 

[Witness1970]

Confidence and arrogance, while sometimes appearing similar, are fundamentally different in how they are perceived and what they convey.

 

Confidence is a positive trait characterized by a realistic and assured belief in one's abilities and judgment. A confident person is secure in their skills and knowledge, which allows them to express themselves clearly and assertively without feeling the need to overshadow others. They are often open to feedback, willing to acknowledge mistakes, and capable of handling criticism constructively. Confidence can inspire trust and respect from others because it is usually based on competence and self-awareness.

 

Arrogance, on the other hand, involves an exaggerated sense of self-importance and a dismissive attitude toward others. An arrogant person often overestimates their abilities and underestimates the value of others' contributions. This can lead to behaviors such as boasting, condescension, and a refusal to listen to different perspectives. Arrogance is often perceived negatively because it can come across as disrespectful and alienating, making it difficult for others to engage positively with the arrogant individual.

 

In summary, confidence is rooted in a balanced self-assessment and respect for others, while arrogance is marked by an inflated ego and a lack of regard for other people's opinions and contributions.

[BLEmom]

The older theocratic ministry school guidebook says this of confidence:

 

What will give you confidence? Basically, it is the knowledge or belief that you will be able to accomplish 

 

your purpose. It is the assurance that you do have the situation in hand and can control it. On the platform this might require some experience. Having given a number of talks, you can be reasonably sure that this one also will be successful. But even if you are relatively new, your earlier talks should encourage you, so you should soon be able to manifest this quality to a reasonable degree.

6 Another vital requirement for confidence, whether you are experienced or not, is a knowledge of your material and conviction that this material is worth while. That means not only thorough advance preparation of your subject but also careful preparation for delivery. If you realize that it is for your own theocratic advancement as well as for the instruction of the brothers in attendance, you will approach the platform in a prayerful attitude. You will become absorbed in the subject and you will forget yourself and your nervousness. You will be thinking of pleasing God, not men.—Gal. 1:10; Ex. 4:10-12; Jer. 1:8.

 

 

 

Back to me….I think of confidence as speaking with authority and arrogance as boasting.