I want to get married, but should I wait until the new system?

[DayjaJW]

Hello friends! My name is Dayja, I’m a 28 year old sister, I’ve been baptized for 6 years. I have always desired to have a mate, but I have not had success with finding one. I’ve actually never had a relationship or dated seriously. It has been somewhat discouraging, because I have felt overlooked, while some sisters are able to get attention from brothers more easily. My main concern at this time, is to focus on my spiritually and do more for Jehovah, as well as adopt qualities that would make a better wife, as well as work on my physical appearance. However, the desire for mate is still strong and sometimes I worry if I will ever find true love, but I determined to wait on Jehovah. Which brings me to my question for those who are married who have felt like me, if you were to go back, would you get married again? Did married life make you happier? Or would it be better for me to wait until the new system to get married?

[Dages]

7 hours ago, DayjaJW said:

My main concern at this time, is to focus on my spiritually and do more for Jehovah, as well as adopt qualities that would make a better wife...

That's the best thing to do. Jehovah will provides when you don't expect it.

 

Quote

Which brings me to my question for those who are married who have felt like me, if you were to go back, would you get married again? Did married life make you happier? Or would it be better for me to wait until the new system to get married?

- Yes.
- I was already happy. It just bring a different kind of happiness.
- No one can answer this question in your behalf. Rejoice in Jehovah, he will bring you opportunities.

Just make sure any potential mate LOVES JEHOVAH more than you  
 

[blanchard]

14 hours ago, DayjaJW said:

Which brings me to my question for those who are married who have felt like me, if you were to go back, would you get married again?

Yes, I am married since 53 years but the more important to be realy happy is to put Jéhovah at the first place

[ucastrobr]

 I was married twice and am now a widow. For me, marriage will only be possible in the new system.

I don't have more patient for it.

I Corinthians 7:28 But even if you did marry, you would commit no sin. And if a virgin married, such a person would commit no sin. However, those who do will have tribulation in their flesh. But I am trying to spare you.

[Pink Butterflies]

20 hours ago, DayjaJW said:

the desire for mate is still strong and sometimes I worry if I will ever find true love, but I determined to wait on Jehovah. Which brings me to my question for those who are married who have felt like me, if you were to go back, would you get married again? Did married life make you happier?

My dear sister/daughter, trust me I’ve been married twice both times to brothers. But I’ve been my happiest single. It’s not that I didn’t want headship or had a problem with submission. There are predatory brothers who lurk for vulnerable sisters. They love the part of us being in submission but fail to lead like Christ. Enjoy being single as a sister with Christ as your head, until that new system comes, you’ll have the best provider a friend possible. Marriage can be the most beautiful relationship in your life but it can also be your worse. You won’t be single forever so enjoy serving as fully as possible for now 

[angellionel]

On 12/22/2025 at 12:26 PM, DayjaJW said:

Which brings me to my question for those who are married who have felt like me, if you were to go back, would you get married again? Did married life make you happier?

My wife and I have been married for 43 years; she was 20 and I was 22 when we were married. Have our years together been trouble-free? Definitely not! There is no such thing as a trouble-free marriage in this system. Problems and challenges do arise, especially when a couple marries young. But if both work together, forgive one another, and maintain love and affection, they can navigate those turbulent times. However, it is even more important to always keep Jehovah at the center of the marriage. After all, He instituted it. Who better to guide married couples? And yes, we are very happy. As for doing it all over again, I absolutely would, and I know my wife feels the same way.

 

As to your own situation, as David stated, "No one can answer this question in your behalf. Rejoice in Jehovah, he will bring you opportunities."

[LeolaRootStew]

4 hours ago, angellionel said:

My wife and I have been married for 43 years; she was 20 and I was 22 when we were married. Have our years together been trouble-free? Definitely not! There is no such thing as a trouble-free marriage in this system. Problems and challenges do arise, especially when a couple marries young. But if both work together, forgive one another, and maintain love and affection, they can navigate those turbulent times. However, it is even more important to always keep Jehovah at the center of the marriage. After all, He instituted it. Who better to guide married couples? And yes, we are very happy. As for doing it all over again, I absolutely would, and I know my wife feels the same way.

 

As to your own situation, as David stated, "No one can answer this question in your behalf. Rejoice in Jehovah, he will bring you opportunities."

 

Not to hijack this topic, but I've heard from almost every married couple who is asked that marriage "isn't easy!" and it's usually accompanied by wide eyes and a sigh. What makes it so hard?

[Barbllm]

On 12/23/2025 at 9:50 PM, LeolaRootStew said:

 

Not to hijack this topic, but I've heard from almost every married couple who is asked that marriage "isn't easy!" and it's usually accompanied by wide eyes and a sigh. What makes it so hard?

As someone who was married for 10 years and has been single for a while now, marriage is work. It's the every day choices you make about being kind to your spouse when he (she) disappoints you or forgets to do something you asked. It's the looks you exchange over dinner when the kids are complaining because they don't like broccoli and you've both had long days at work but you know that it's Family Worship night. Marriage requires giving, and some days you feel like you can't give anything else. 

[Tronora]

Well, to balance things off: I was married to an unbeliever. I LOVED being married. He went to the meetings, and was an unbaptized publisher. We weren't even a good match. We were a TERRIBLE match. But we had each other. Daily quarrels, but also lots of joy. The daily "sharing of life".

 

Living without a spouse decade after decade is killing me softly. I am single, and I hate it. Don't talk to me about the troubles of marriage. After 30 + years where you have to tackle life alone (I have no family in the truth), THEN come to me.

Edited December 26, 2025 by Tronora

[lmcnultyn]

I am a 37-year-old brother who has been baptised for about 10 years, and I'm in the same boat as you. I have never gotten any attention or interest from sisters, and the few relationships I have had with sisters have not gone well. In fact, I have been lonely for the most part, as I have very few friends in the organisation. I have had mostly negative experiences with the "brothers" and sisters" throughout my time in the organisation, as I have been judged, mistreated, looked down upon, disrespected, and basically treated like an outcast. I wish I had positive experiences being a JW, but unfortunately, there have been very few, but I guess that's a topic for another day that I would like to discuss in the future!

 

I am currently trying to work on myself spiritually, mentally, and emotionally, and I am also maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

[Dages]

1 hour ago, lmcnultyn said:

I am currently trying to work on myself spiritually, mentally, and emotionally, and I am also maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

That's the right thing to do, to be a future proper husband/wife.
Fully immersed in the ministry, pioneering, LDC, then you'll find the pearl, Jehovah will provide in due time, when you don't expect it

[Lance]

Since you’re already focusing on growth, have you ever tried journaling? Even brief notes about thoughts, prayers, or progress can really help you see how far you’re coming over time.

For example King David  ….many of the psalms show how openly he poured out his thoughts and feelings to Jehovah….his fears, disappointments, hopes, and gratitude. 

In a way, they’re like a personal journal. It doesn’t mean everything was easy for him, but it did help him process things and keep perspective. Journaling also changes the way our brain sees the perspective of our situation.. it is solid written memory.. regular memory gets slightly changed and rescripted .. sometimes to our detriment..often it fails in tracking progress. 

Edited 16 hours ago by Lance

[booboo]

On 12/23/2025 at 9:50 PM, LeolaRootStew said:

Not to hijack this topic, but I've heard from almost every married couple who is asked that marriage "isn't easy!" and it's usually accompanied by wide eyes and a sigh. What makes it so hard?

For the most part because it is 2 imperfect people and the air of this system of things.   Then there is failure to apply Bible principles, cultural differences, family dynamics, mental health Issues  and perhaps the most important issue is one or both not having a close relationship with Jehovah.  
Marriage is a lot of work.  Even a “good” marriage requires compromise and giving  100/100 of yourself, not 50/50 as the world thinks.  

However, Jehovah will help you and your mate.  I like to think of  this scripture  as to apply it in a marriage: when both partners work together 
Ps 1:1-3 Happy is the man who does not walk according to the advice of the wicked And does not stand on the path of sinners And does not sit in the seat of scoffers.  2 But his delight is in the law of Jehovah, And he reads His law in an undertone day and night.  3 He will be like a tree planted by streams of water, A tree that produces fruit in its season, The foliage of which does not wither.  And everything he does will succeed.

 

[booboo]

On 12/22/2025 at 12:26 PM, DayjaJW said:

my question for those who are married who have felt like me, if you were to go back, would you get married again? Did married life make you happier? Or would it be better for me to wait until the new system to get married?

My dear sister, I understand the natural longing for a mate.  After all, that’s why woman was created.  
I’ve been married twice, first marriage was miserable, due to the abuse of my then husband.  
My second marriage yes, we have both expressed how happy we are with each other in marriage. 

I love being married.  Would I marry again, No, because I am more than satisfied and happy with the one I love.  I ask Jehovah everyday to let me keep him.   And quite frankly, I would not want to have to get to know someone all over again.  That’s a lot of work. 😂
so did married life make me happier, No, but it has brought me much happiness.  

 

As far as waiting for the new system.  1 Cor 7:29-40. 
note that Paul says it is a matter of opinion.  Also bear in mind that we will not be perfect until the end of the 1000 years in the new world.  (Rev 20:5)

 

Agape

your sister
 

 

[Lance]

A life changing tool I would like to share with you. 

Separating identity from injury.

 

Here’s the basic concept:

What happens if you drop a diamond in the mud? Does the mud change the diamond? No. The diamond is still a diamond.

 

The diamond represents your identity.

The mud represents your injury.

 

The mud is real and does need to be addressed…but it is not who you are.

We often confuse the two and begin to identify with the injury instead of recognizing it as something that happened to us.

 

Jehovah never identifies us by our injury…and difficult as it may be, neither should we.

 

Consider these examples:

 

David was overlooked by his own family, yet Jehovah said:
“I have found a man after my own heart.”

Moses felt inadequate, but Jehovah said:
“I will be with you.”

Jeremiah felt too young, but Jehovah said:
“Do not be afraid.”

 

Jehovah saw who they were, not what their brain was telling them or what they had been wounded by.

We all have wounds and if consciously or unconsciously we may say….hi my name is ….
Here are my wounds what  do you think of me so far ..

That is not our calling card … 

The wounds are not you .. so we should not present them as ourselves.. 

 

In retrospect Jesus never identified with his wounds …  it was something that happened to him … he was not just that guy hanging on a stake …even though the world still tries to identify him as such… he is sitting at Jehovah’s right hand.. full of power, ready to exercise his true potential 

Edited 2 hours ago by Lance

[Barbllm]

Sometimes I feel like when I pray for a mate, it's like the nation of Israel asking for a king. They knew Jehovah was their King, but they wanted a physical representative that they could see and talk to. I know Jehovah loves me, but I want a human being to tell me so. 

[DayjaJW]

24 minutes ago, Lance said:

A life changing tool I would like to share with you. 

Separating identity from injury.

 

Here’s the basic concept:

What happens if you drop a diamond in the mud? Does the mud change the diamond? No. The diamond is still a diamond.

 

The diamond represents your identity.

The mud represents your injury.

 

The mud is real and does need to be addressed…but it is not who you are.

We often confuse the two and begin to identify with the injury instead of recognizing it as something that happened to us.

 

Jehovah never identifies us by our injury…and difficult as it may be, neither should we.

 

Consider these examples:

 

David was overlooked by his own family, yet Jehovah said:
“I have found a man after my own heart.”

Moses felt inadequate, but Jehovah said:
“I will be with you.”

Jeremiah felt too young, but Jehovah said:
“Do not be afraid.”

 

Jehovah saw who they were, not what their brain was telling them or what they had been wounded by.

We all have wounds and if consciously or unconsciously we may say….hi my name is ….
Here are my wounds what  do you think of me so far ..

That is not our calling card … 

The wounds are not you .. so we should not present them as ourselves.. 

 

In retrospect Jesus never identified with his wounds …  it was something that happened to him … he was not just that guy hanging on a stake …even though the world still tries to identify him as such… he is sitting at Jehovah’s right hand.. full of power, ready to exercise his true potential 

My apologies, but I’m lost on how this fits in with my question. Can you clarify for me please?

[Lance]

I am very sorry I was responding to .. the brother imcnultyn .. 

I guess we should have had two threads your thread got hijacked ..

[lmcnultyn]

1 hour ago, Lance said:

I am very sorry I was responding to .. the brother imcnultyn .. 

I guess we should have had two threads your thread got hijacked ..

Please accept my sincere apologies. It was never my intention to hijack the original post, but I just wanted to comment on my struggles of not being able to find a mate, and then I just got carried away. I am still new here, and I am still finding my way through this platform. I am very sorry...

Edited 47 minutes ago by lmcnultyn

[DayjaJW]

9 minutes ago, lmcnultyn said:

Please accept my sincere apologies. It was never my intention to hijack the original post, but I just wanted to comment on my struggles of not being able to find a mate, and then I just got carried away. I am still new here, and I am still finding my way through this platform. I am very sorry...

You don’t have to apologize at all, you didn’t do anything wrong. I’m very sorry if I hurt your feelings, that was not my intention at all. Please forgive me.