My husband's strange amazing experience

[retroHelen]

2012 will be memorable for the following reason: My husband was adopted in very sad circumstanced at the age of 2. The couple who became his parents by adoption were sent by social workers to a house to take my husband, as a little tot, from this other family because they had been exposed as unsuitable foster carers. They were shown through the house where the rest of the family were and out into the back garden/yard where baby Kevin was attached by a rope around his neck to the washing-line post like a dog. He was covered in sores and only wearing an oversized school jumper and school shoes -obviously 'cast offs' of one of the family's other kids who were in the house ignoring the baby outside.

He hadn't learned to speak or feed himself, despite being nearly 3 years old, and had had measles that had festered hence the sores. His new mother and Dad brought him home and he struggled across the kitchem floor and ate all the dog's food from its's bowl because he was so hungry. Therefore, you can imagine that once he got older he showed no interest in finding out who his real parents were if they gave him up to that life!

However, years later - 2010 - he did wonder, after his kindly old 'parents by adoption' had died, if he had any other brothers or sisters. His original birth-certificate gave his original name and parent's names and they'd registered him in Maryport. Therefore, when an older couple from that town visited our antique shop, he asked if they knew of a family of his original surname in Maryport. They said that they did know his real father and they may know of others and would make enquiries - though any sisters could be married with different surnames so may not be easily traced.

Time went on and he heard nothing. Then on a day, a month ago, when he wasn't at our shop - someone else was serving behind the counter - a woman with her husband in a wheelchair came in enquiring after my husband. She left her phone number and my husband rang it thinking she was coming to sell us some antiques/furniture. She asked if Norman and Joan Winter were on his birth certificate. He said yes and she said: "I think I am your sister!". My husband was stunned.She asked us to come to her home in Maryport where she would explain as much as she knew.

Kevin put on his best suit and we went to this woman's nice little home. We knocked and she opened the door and they looked at each other face to face because she is as tall as he is - and it was like peas in a pod - they do resemble each other and they recognised this too and she was quite overcome and invited us in.

It transpired that the older couple had eventually found and contacted her to tell her what my husband had asked in the shop, because his original parents matched her original parents. She had also been given up for fostering/adoption as a baby like him and grown up with a different family. She knew of other members of the family she had traced, but my husband was, until then totally unknown to her! Their real mother had also left their older sister Val on the children's home's doorstep - in fact all her 8 children had been through children's homes or fostering while this real mother went with different men and husbands. 2 have a different father by a first marriage, 4 have another father, including my husband and 2 they are unsure who the father definatley is, but had the same surname as them. His real mother died in 2004 married to a 4th husband. His father died 1992. The following week he as asked again to Maryport where another sister, Lesley from near Manchester was visiting. Also, while he was there his older half-brother Ray called in. They all have children and grandchildren. Sadly his oldest sister and one other brother have died, so we will have to wait to hopefully meet them in the New World. 2 of the brothers they had found living possibly in Carlisle, but they didn't wish to get together with their sisters. So he's trying to get his head around all this, as he's gone from one alone to so many!

[retroHelen]

I took this picture 3 weeks ago when my husband Kevin - in the middle - had just met his sisters for the first time after over 58 years not knowing they existed! Lorraine to the left resembles him, Lesley to right is from near Manchester. Last week we went out for a meal with his sister Lorraine and her disabled husband. Her husband had Polio as a child, hence being in a wheelchair. He is a taxi-driver. We decided to reveal we are Witnesses.They knew us by now as nice folks and it turns up that they take magazines whenever Witnesses call. My husband gave them the December magazines because we wanted to tactfully explain about Christmas, so we wouldn't become embroiled in family celebrations. They were really nice about it and asked questions. One question they asked was the Bible's view of what happens when we die. They sadly lost one of their 2 sons in a traffic accident - he was a passenger in a car that crashed and he was only 15. They are lovely folks and we hope we can tactfully Witness again to them.

[Musky]

Helen!

What an amazing story! As I was reading it, I told Mrs.Musky to make sure to come online and read it too! What some of our brothers and sisters have gone through in their lives is unimaginable. It's amazing to me that you guys were able to locate any of his siblings. It's sad that it took so long in his life that he missed meeting some of them, but as you said, Jehovah will fix all that soon!

We are very happy for the joy he has received this last month or so!

[NSSewer]

Oh Sis Helen this is truly an amazing story! It has brought tears to my eyes. It sounds like a family story you read about in the papers and see on TV! You have a good-looking family and just think so many new ones to talk to Jehovah about! I'm so sorry that your husband and his siblings endured a very harsh childhood. If I may say, while Lorraine to the left does resemble your Kevin, Lesley to the right quite resembles YOU which is very astounding! I am so happy for his new relationships! Oh and by the way when I am near Cumbria I will visit your antique shop I love antiquing!

[retroHelen]

Yes Venus other brothers and sisters in the congregation said just as you did when we showed them the photographs. In fact 2 sisters in the congregation (who are related to each other) were quite touched by the story and gave my husband a big hug and pressed an envelope in his hand at the next meeting. When we got home it was a lovely 'congratulations' letter and some money towards the meal we had with his sister and husband! Lesley's daughter Louise sent him a lovely card from Manchester. It read: "Welcome Uncle - we will always have the same wacky wonderful weird things in common .... the rest of the family!"

Louise who is a nurse. She has 2 little boys.

[trottigy]

Helen this is amazing!! I can't wait for the new world where reunions will be taking place daily and we will get to see the good side of all.

I am very happy for you and your husband.

[GrumpysWife]

What a wonderful experience for you and your husband, Helen. I am happy for you both.

[LeslieDean]

Such a handsome/pretty family Helen. I see reunions on TV where families finally meet after many years. I remember reading a life story in the Awake (I think it was the Awake) about our young brother who met his mother after many years and she was a JW too. Every time I think about the resurection I think about loved ones reuniting with family members. I have never thought of it in the context where you have never met ones that were living in the same time period as you but seperated through events such as you described. How many blessings we have in store is truly remarkable!

I am so sorry to hear that your husband had to undergo such hiedous circumstances. How wonderful he has you and the truth to help him through.

[pinkpopcorn]

Helen this is wonderful news! How much loss we feel in our lives when there are missing pieces. There is a show we have here in the US that is called The Locator. This guy's Mom was adopted and now he and his relatives have a business were they unite adoptive family members many years later in their lives. Every single time they get together I bawl my eyes out! It is so amazing how the family genetics factors into the picture. Tell your hubby I bawled again upon hearing your terrific news!! So happy for you both.

[betlee]

Oh, Helen, what an exciting, wonderful, amazing experience. It truly touched my heart. I commend you on taking the Awake to open he door to introduce them to your stand on not celebrating Christmas. I hope that future days bring you happiness with your new family members!

[retroHelen]

Well, it's not over yet. We were intrigued by a Sharon in the list of sisters that we had from a relative who'd done just a little family research for us. We know (a spiritual brother) - Graham - who supports his pioneering by doing research for people. We have paid him for his services with things for our antiques business a couple of times. We asked him to do some family research for my husband and gave him the details we had so far to see if he could find this Sharon we didn't know.

Well, Graham has come back with more startling information. My husband is not just one of 8, he is actually one of 11!! This brother had traced another half-brother's new name and address and phone number and just names for another sister Beverley and brother Glen. We forwarded the email onto his newly found sisters and Lorraine rang the new half-brother up.This Melvyn was so surprised. Apparently, his/their mother had abandoned him as a baby on the doorstep of some neighbours in Nottingham that she knew and they took him and raised him. Melvyn was told by them what his mother did, so he had no interest in family research so he had no idea that he had 10 siblings/half-siblings. He is 66, a retired engineer with a son Adam. He wasn't formally adopted, but took on the new family's different surname - so the researching brother did a good job to find him considering this difficulty. Melvyn seems a nice guy.

My husband went to the elder's school last December and told an elder he knows in his sister Lorraine's town, Maryport, about her and he and his wife have called on her and she invited them in, but they only had a general chat for 10 minutes because Lorraine's husband was going out to the doctor for his obligatory yearly medical to make sure he is fit enough to do his taxi job, Lorraine had to go with him, so she can help him with his wheelchair at the doctor's. Lorraine still takes the magazines off us each month. Lately, another sister in Maryport called with the Memorial invitation and had a nice chat with Lorraine too. Where there's life, we pray there's hope!

My husband is going to leave the main Witnessing to this elder, who says he will call again and my husband is working on helpng his sisters to give up smoking - -offering lots of helpful advice because he cares about them and worries for them on this bad habit.He was a heavy smoker himself from age 14-24, before becoming a JW.

[stuagu]

thanx for sharing such a personal experience... christian love.

[retroHelen]

We will be meeting Kevin's brother Mel in 3 weeks time for the first time.

 

One of Kevin's older brothers, Ray, a retired ambulanceman aged 67 now, had to get over the shock of finding out he had a brother called Kevin and meeting Kevin for the first time last October. Now Kevin has told him he has found another brother Mel that Kevin and none of the rest of his family knew of. This brother Mel is  2 years younger than Ray, 8 years older than Kevin and when Ray saw photographs of him that Mel sent us, realises Mel greatly resembles him. He was quite emotional about it and as Ray lives near us,along with sister Lorraine will meet Mel in 3 weeks for the first time as well.

 

The youngest sister Beverley,born in 1964, like Kevin and his sister Lorraine, was formally adopted.However, the authorities warned us that, unlike Lorraine and Kevin's adopted parents, they suspect that she may not have been told she is adopted because she was a very young baby when the family found her on their door-step in Workington. Therefore, contacting her may open emotional wounds - so we may sadly not be able to pursue that line of enquiry and Kevin's sisters are saddened as they may also be missing not just a younger sister, but more nephews and nieces if she likely is married and a mother. We therefore continue to search for another sister called Sharon, born 1957, who was not formally adopted.

 

We also may have traced his oldest brother Terry, aged 70  in Wales, but have not contacted this person yet until we are sure it is him.

 

We also have vague news that another older brother called Glen is in Carlisle. However, Glen, we were told that if we want to find him, he spends his days in gambling establishments/betting shops putting money on horses. We are therefore a bit wary of exposing ourselves to such a person in case he is in debt and liable to be wanting loans to feed his bad habit!! That too is a pity if he too has children we will never know. 

 

In the meantime, we are still visiting his sister Lorraine and her husband Steve and helped them get through the death, funeral and break up of Steve's Dad's house and Steve's major leg operation. Steve is in a wheelchair - had Polio shortly after birth and his mobility deteriorated as he got older. This leg operation is just to help him be more comfortable, he will not walk again in this system, We have kept up placing magazines with them and now he is out of hospital, we will let Maryport elders know, as one has been trying to call on them, but because of their busy circumstances lately, they have not been in, whereas now Steve is recuperating and bored, stuck at home unable to move much for 6 weeks because of the large stapled leg wound and ligament/bone repair healing.

Photo of older brother Ray, sister Lesley and niece Louise we met for the first time last year and then Lesley, Louise and new found brother Mel who  they met in Sheffield and we have yet to meet:

 

 

 

Edited May 26, 2013 by retroHelen

[LeslieDean]

Wow!  You family like. quadrupled in size!  

[retroHelen]

Melvyn (age 66) and his wife brought their caravan up to a farm near us for a short holiday to meet all his new found family. They were so excited, sending so many messages telling us how much they were looking forward to meeting us all.

 

We all met at Kevin's new found sister Lorraine's at Maryport Cumbria, with other relatives we hadn't met before. The next evening we booked a meal at The Ship Hotel for 15 at a village called Dovenby - it's wheelchair friendly for our brother-in-law Steve. We had a lovely 2 evenings meeting 3 generations of Kevin's family for the first time:

 

Melvyn (left) meeting his younger brother - my husband Kevin (middle) and his older brother Ray all for the first time.Ray is a retired ambulanceman,Mel a retired engineer from Doncaster. Ray was quite choked because he had reached 68 without knowing about Kevin or Melvyn!

Left to right - We met Kevin's brother Ray's grandaughter Shannon; daughter Sonya; wife Lesley for the first time along with brother Mel and his wife Christine.

 

  We also met Kevin's new found sister's son and 2 grandchildren. From left to right Kevin's new found grand-nephew Bradley, Bradley's mother Emma, Kevin's grand-niece Leyla Rose, his nephew Lee (a builder and fell/mountian-runner); with new-found brother Mel and wife Christine.

Edited July 5, 2013 by retroHelen

[GrumpysWife]

That is truly wonderful. I am so happy for him. I knew my family but I got kicked out of it when I married so I had little to do with them until my baby sister came to Florida for a visit. We got on so well, she and her family moved next door to us. I was in my late 50's. After that my relationship with all my sisters got better and we are now a family again.

[retroHelen]

My husband was all ready with an address to meet his 4th oldest brother Glen for the first time in Carlisle during the lunch break at our Circuit Assembly there the next day. He had been told by people who knew his real Dad that he looks like him and he looks like his brother Glen, so as his real Dad is dead, he'd like to confirm this with his 4th brother. We were eating our evening meal, the night before the convention, when he bit into some food and cried out in pain as his front tooth split vertically.

 

He had to go to the hospital because it was evening and all the dentists were shut and the tooth was still attached to his gum, but was moving about causing his mouth to bleed and painful. The hospital brought in an emergency dentist and they removed his tooth and gave him it back in a child's "tooth fairy bag". LOL! However, they couldn't do anything about the big front gap and Kevin felt he looked silly when he smiled, so the visit was off as to meeting his brother for the first time!He got ribbed mercilessly by his friends (huh!) at the convention for his 'whistle-gap' at the front of his mouth.Took a month to put right at the dentist and he still hasn't had chance to go back to Carlisle yet.

 

We left the main' Witnessing to his sister' in Maryport to the local elder, but we still give her and her husband magazines and worked on their smoking and she has given up now and her husband is getting help and nicotine patches from his Doctor. They worked out that they, on very little income because of her husband's disabilities, were spending £5000 a year on cigarettes. They now have money to spare and go out for meals and have bought a newer adapted car for her husband to be able to drive. This has encouraged his other sister and she has virtually given up cigarettes too.

 

Carrying on our search for his other missing sisters,We found a website for re-uniting people in a nearby town where we had heard rumoured that his youngest sister Beverley may have been adopted. We put out a query for anyone who knew of a girl in their class at school called Beverley born 1964. We got 6 private emails referring to the same Beverley with a photograph that was the spitting image of a younger version of photographs of his mother that we have been given. A name for the woman who cared for her was given, but before we could contact her, someone told her we were looking. She found the telephone number of his sister in Maryport and threatened us with legal action, and other threats, if we come anywhere near her or contact Beverley!! This worried his sister so we took the query down off the re-uniting website. Sad outcome. We don't know her reasons, but if this lady's reasons are that she has complaints against his real mother, then it's no fault of my husband who never knew her as he was given up for adoption as a baby.We aren't contacting Beverley at present as this phone-call shook up his sister.

 

However, with the private emails, that this woman/the adopted mother/ does not know about, we managed to piece enough information together to trace Beverley and her daughter. Her daughter is a typical young person who puts her whole life out on the networking sites. We have therefore been able to follow her doings without her even aware of it - shows how you should privatise your information on these sites - we could be anybody!!

 

We sent the information of our research to my husband's new found other sisters with all the names. One sister who would be 6 years older than Beverley, wrote back with : My mother was a big friend of this lady called *****. When my mother (and my husband's real mother) decided to leave Dad and move to this other town she only took me. When she and her friend went out for a drink together, she would get me to babysit for this little Beverley and neither of them let on to me that this was my younger sister that my mother had given away to her friend to bring up!! How strange?!?

 

So 8 siblings traced, 2 to go and folk are strange and the older you get the stranger some seem!!

[LeslieDean]

Thank you for the update . I too find the search fascinating!

[Miss Mouse]

This makes me think of all the relatives we will meet in the Paradise ...... How Jehovah never ever intended that families would be torn apart and that we grow up not knowing who we are and where we came from.

Family ties that tell us why we look and act a certain way , mannerisms that go back generations but there they are in us ....... That genetic makeup unique only to us and the family line we came from. This is such a fascinating story do keep us posted Helen .

[retroHelen]

As the mother (by adoption) of Beverley had warned us to stay away from Beverley, but seemed to be making decisions for Beverley that Beverley was old enough to make for herself and she lived in a different area now to this mother, we decided to try legal channels to see where we stood and maybe search our missing sister Sharon too. We arranged an interview with the Children's Adoption Services Officer at the Social Services offices in Workington.

 

The officer there told us that if my husband could supply him with his missing sisters birth certificates and marriage certificates and any evidence we had already gathered, he would see what he could do. My husband, as their brother, was allowed to pay for copies of these. The brother who we paid to do some research for us had found someone in the North East of England who fitted the description. We gave in all the evidence we had.

 

The Officer also gave my husband his very thick adoption file and also told us that his sister Lorraine was entitled to hers too, so she got that and we compared notes to see if anything helped there. However, quite a bit had been redacted about the state of his biological parents' relationship and the other siblings - other than a list of some of them that Workington's children's services had to re-home at various times. 

 

It also transpires that children who were just fostered do not have the same rights to finding siblings as adopted persons can. So the officer could help us with Beverley as she was adopted, but not Sharon because she was only in children's homes or fostered. This seems an odd law, as many adopted persons have been placed in happy homes and are not as bothered about finding siblings as fostered persons who have had a life in chilfdren's homes and then are put out to fend for themselves after reaching either 16 or 18 years of age.

 

He eventually agreed that we had found the right person and told us he would contact her on our behalf and ask if she wished to be contacted by us. We were worried because if she refused, then legally we could not ever contact her or any of her family again which would be very sad. Weeks later she replied, she had been through to Workington from her home in the North East of England. she had seen her Mother to warn her that she wished to meet her brothers and sisters, so her adopted Mother had been talked round. Then she spoke with the officer and gave him her email address.  

 

My husband wrote - checked - re- checked and then sent his first email to his youngest sister with some pictures of himself and 2 of the other sisters. He waited a week - worrying every day if he had worded it well and how/if she had received it.

 

Then amidst all the flooding and storm worries we have at present, he also got a reply with photographs of his sister and her daughter and her husband to start with. She also gave her cell phone number. We rang it and had a lovely chat and asked her permission to pass her details on to 2 sisters and her older brother Melvyn too. She added in this photograph of herself with her husband at her daughter's wedding and we can see a striking resemblance to my husband's mother when she was a similar age - we have seen photographs of the mother that one sister had - we obviously never knew my husband's mother.

Now we only need to locate the last of the 11 siblings missing - Sharon born in 1957 and to actually meet up with Beverley.

 

 

 

 

 

[Old]

2012 will be memorable for the following reason: My husband was adopted in very sad circumstanced at the age of 2. The couple who became his parents by adoption were sent by social workers to a house to take my husband, as a little tot, from this other family because they had been exposed as unsuitable foster carers. They were shown through the house where the rest of the family were and out into the back garden/yard where baby Kevin was attached by a rope around his neck to the washing-line post like a dog. He was covered in sores and only wearing an oversized school jumper and school shoes -obviously 'cast offs' of one of the family's other kids who were in the house ignoring the baby outside. He hadn't learned to speak or feed himself, despite being nearly 3 years old, and had had measles that had festered hence the sores. His new mother and Dad brought him home and he str.... and grandchildren. Sadly his oldest sister and one other brother have died, so we will have to wait to hopefully meet them in the New World. 2 of the brothers they had found living possibly in Carlisle, but they didn't wish to get together with their sisters. So he's trying to get his head around all this, as he's gone from one alone to so many!

Loved it. Does anyone use pargraphs in UK? 

[retroHelen]

I think the first posts on this topic may have been transferred from the old JWtalk website and the formatting didn't transfer to the new website so well, as I was sure I paragraphed it differently to how it looks now. I know that some of my older posts from 'old JWtalk' lost their pictures as well as formatting when stuff was transferred across.  There were quite a few glitches when we started with the new layout.

 

Lots of the older posts in the old format, just transferred as long strings of text. If folk, including me, never added to them, they'd "die and fall off the end of the website" after a certain time unless someone resurrected them by adding extra posts to them. so they aren't seen anymore and it doesn't matter. However, because my story is still ongoing, I kept adding bits and thus brought the thread back to life again.

 

 

Sorry about that. You will notice by later posts that I do make new paragraphs.

[Miss Mouse]

Helen I loved the updates thank you for taking the time amidst chaos with your weather woes..... Love Wendy

[Peanuts]

This is an amazing story Helen, thanks for sharing. Did you ever find out what Beverlys mothers misgivings were about making contact?

[A fellow servant]

WOW!    Thanks for sharing SIS.     Jehovah does help the orphans and widows.       May Jehovah continue to bless you and your husband and may some if not all of his siblings accept the Truth.     At least they will all have been introduced to subjects regarding Bible truths.     Best to you all...........