Application To Date My Daughter

[EPOlson]

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

Name_______________________ Date of Birth________________ Height_________ Weight______

Date of Baptism ____________IQ___________ GPA_______ Social Security No._______________

Driver License No.______________________

Home Address__________________________________________________________

Are your parents in the truth?_____ One or both?____________ How long have your parents been married?____

Have you ever served at Bethel ? and if so why aren't you still there?

Do you own an appropriate field service vehicle?___________Make and Model_____________________

How many Hours, Mags, and RV's have you averaged over the past year?_____

What spiritual Goals do you presently have?

In 50 words or less, what does the word "LATE"mean to you?

In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER"mean to you?

What congregation do you attend?___________________________________ How often?__________

(Please provide names and phone numbers for the following) :

Presiding Overseer_____________________ Secretary ____________________________________

Service Overseer______________________ Circuit Overseer________________________________

District Overseer______________________ Zone Overseer_________________________________

When would be the best time to interview your parents? _______________________________________

When would be the best time to interview your Presiding Overseer? _______________________________

Have you pre-planned your funeral? __________Funeral Director's name and address

________________________________________________________________________

Answer the following questions honestly. All answers will be kept strictly confidential

A. Name the 12 apostles__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

B. From memory, can you name the books of the Bible forward and backward? If not, why?________________________

C. If you were beaten and every bone broken in your body (because you tried to kiss my daughter) do you feel you would

be entitled to a resurrection? _____________________________________________________

D. A woman's place is in the __________________________________________________________

E. What do you want to be IF you grow up?_______________________________________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY

KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, IMPAILMENT, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE

WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS AND ANY OTHER MEANS DEEMED NECESSARY.

______________________________________

Signature (This means your name)

Thank you for your interest in my daughter/son. Please allow two to four years for processing. You will be notified in

writing if your application is approved. In the meantime, DO NOT ATTEMPT TO CALL OR WRITE MY DAUGHTER,

due to risk of personal injury. Of course, should you become an elder in the congregation in the meantime, and then we

would consider your application sooner.

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job

history, lineage, current medical report from your doctor.

[Brother_Bliss]

These 2 lines are my favorite...

C. If you were beaten and every bone broken in your body (because you tried to kiss my daughter) do you feel you would

be entitled to a resurrection?

...

Please allow two to four years for processing.

Hilarious!

[Tazenergy]

Oh I loved this may I copy it and share it?

y/s

Margie

[Brother_Bliss]

Oh I loved this may I copy it and share it?

Of course!

And feel free to invite other brothers and sisters over here too!

[Linda]

I love this application! Love it! I think I'll share it too.

[ReadYourBible]

Given that I'm struggling with teenage angst, there's days I'd just like to sign her over

[marcello]

I can happily say that as of Mem. Day w/e I married off my beautiful baby girl (she'll always be my baby)....so no more "application" boy worries for me.My little routine with the boys worked effectively for me,..so I'll share. I used to tell her boyfriends when they came to pick her up,..(lookin'at um, straight in the eye).... that up in the coat closet was a loaded gun, and that I was not afraid to go back to jail,....and they got the point!

[ReadYourBible]

LOL@I'm not afraid to go back to jail.

[NiKaylam]

Love That!!!>

[Dages]

I am totally going to use this

No brother shall touch my little girl

[Debbie]

I am totally going to use this

No brother shall touch my little girl

Sorry David, but someone is going to take your little girl away from you just like you took her mom away from her dad. Sad, I know, but true!!! Keep on taking great care of her 'til that day comes.

[Dages]

This lucky brother will surely have a very good "resume"...

hopefully, this will happen in the Paradise

[Sheppherd]

I shall use this and add several hundred extra nuances that would probably best be kept private. I love my daughter!

[GrumpysWife]

I shall use this and add several hundred extra nuances that would probably best be kept private. I love my daughter!

I gave it to our CO. His daughter is dating a nice young man. He said I could read the answers when he gets it back.

[rocket]

I love the application, though I no longer have a need for it. My Dad was not much for paperwork so when a strange suiter come calling on my older sis riding up the driveway on his moterbike, Dad come to meet him with a shotgun in hand. The young lad said "I'm the Judges son". Dad said "that doesn't impress me, now get before I have to find out if this thing is loaded or not". Never saw that fella again.

[Debbie]

now get before I have to find out if this thing is loaded or not". Never saw that fella again.

Very funny Lynn. Thanks for sharing! (The young man probably didn't think it was funny thou!)

[rocket]

Dad was very good with the shot gun, he loved to hunt Pheasants. He would have loved nothing better than to have shot the tail feathers of that `biker son of a Judge'. (no fowl word intended)