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Ponderisms


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PONDERISMS (some things to think about)

 
 
1- I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
 
 
 
2- There are two kinds of pedestrians . . . The quick and the dead.
 
 
 
 
 
3- Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
 
 
4- The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
 
 
5- Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
 
 
6- Have you noticed since everyone has a cell phone these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
 
 
7- Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
 
 
8- All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
 
 
9- In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
 
 
10- How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
 
 
11- Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out'? Hmmmmm, How about eggs ? . . .
 
 
12- If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
 
 
 
 
13- If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
 
 
14- Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
 
15- Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
 
 
16- Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

 

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