Ponderisms

[Allabord4Jah]

PONDERISMS (some things to think about)

 

 

1- I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

 

 

 

2- There are two kinds of pedestrians . . . The quick and the dead.

 

 

 

 

 

3- Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

 

 

4- The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

 

 

5- Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

 

 

6- Have you noticed since everyone has a cell phone these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

 

 

7- Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

 

 

8- All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

 

 

9- In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

 

 

10- How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

 

 

11- Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out'? Hmmmmm, How about eggs ? . . .

 

 

12- If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

 

 

 

 

13- If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

 

 

14- Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

 

15- Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

 

 

16- Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

 

[Sheep]

People have often asked themselves similar difficult questions of life. But did you know that the Bible has many satisfying answers...?

[CHecker]

Why is there no #13?