Learning to live and let live.

[Ishaya]

 

Last week one of my fleshly brother stirred the pot with the news of wanting to travel abroad to work.nobody liked the idea and we have since then been struggling to bring him back to his normal senses.

at some point i just decided to give up on him and let him make his mistakes however serious they may be, perhaps he might learn from them.

what worries me most is that he already has a very good job here working as a fashion designer for a company and earning a six digit salary plus a convenient accommodation offered by the company.

 

It is very disturbing how the Immigration agents are causing a significant brain drain in Nigeria by constantly encouraging skilled youths and professionals workers to leave the country for greener pastures.this worries me so much.
some years ago i had the same sad experience when a former colleague of mine who is a Medical Doctor moved to the US and has since been urging me to do the same after my medical school.

 

I realise its just too difficult to help people do the right thing.

[BLEmom]

3 hours ago, Ishaya said:

 

Last week one of my fleshly brother stirred the pot with the news of wanting to travel abroad to work.nobody liked the idea and we have since then been struggling to bring him back to his normal senses.

at some point i just decided to give up on him and let him make his mistakes however serious they may be, perhaps he might learn from them.

what worries me most is that he already has a very good job here working as a fashion designer for a company and earning a six digit salary plus a convenient accommodation offered by the company.

 

It is very disturbing how the Immigration agents are causing a significant brain drain in Nigeria by constantly encouraging skilled youths and professionals workers to leave the country for greener pastures.this worries me so much.
some years ago i had the same sad experience when a former colleague of mine who is a Medical Doctor moved to the US and has since been urging me to do the same after my medical school.

 

I realise its just too difficult to help people do the right thing.

Is your brother in the truth?  If so, perhaps another brother outside the family arrangement will have more of an impact talking with him. 

[carlos]

7 hours ago, Ishaya said:

some years ago i had the same sad experience when a former colleague of mine who is a Medical Doctor moved to the US and has since been urging me to do the same after my medical school.

It's sad because tens of thousands of Nigerians come to Europe every year looking for a better life, but they rarely find it. Most live miserable lives. Usually they work long hours in construction or cleaning, in badly paid and very demanding jobs that nobody wants. His expertize will not be valued or considered here, at least not in Spain. I can't speak for other continents, but moving to Europe is not a wise decision, even for a worldly person. If your brother is one of JWs, then it is even more unwise.

 

But as you say, you can only do so much. Warn people, give them some food for thought, and that's it. They have to make their own choices and suffer the consequences. That's the way Jehovah proceeds with us.

[coolbrz731]

I was speaking to one of my Nigerian friends who was thinking about moving here to the US, thinking that would solve his financial problems.  I couldn't get through to him that the pay here is a lot more, but the costs were also.  I finally decided to let the evidence speak for itself.  I told him how much I made a month.  He thought I was living like a king, until I told him my rent, and my car payment, and electricity, and water/sewer/garbage, and internet(a must have here), and cell phone bill, and gas, along with how far you have to travel for work every day, and car insurance, and renter's insurance(he was shocked that those insurances are pretty much mandatory).  When he did the math, and realized we had not included food, or other needs, he realized that life here was not the gold mine he had been sold.  Still better than where he was, but his expectations have been tempered.  You might try this technique on your brother.

Edited February 25, 2022 by coolbrz731
Left out a bill

[Ishaya]

5 hours ago, BLEmom said:

Is your brother in the truth?  If so, perhaps another brother outside the family arrangement will have more of an impact talking with him. 

 

No,he is not a witness, I'm the only witness in my extended family.

I feel indebted to him for his help because when I embraced the truth,he was very supportive to me on opposition from family and my father.

We always have bible discussion when he visites from Lagos,I have even tried to arrange for a pioneer to study with him but he has a busy schedule so the study has not been steady.

 

[Ishaya]

2 hours ago, coolbrz731 said:

I was speaking to one of my Nigerian friends who was thinking about moving here to the US, thinking that would solve his financial problems.

 

Sometimes it confuses me when i look at the amount of money people spend to travel to another country,it makes me to wonder if they really have financial problem.

My brother told me he was using three million naira to process his emigration to Canada.

I'm not sure how I'm seeing it but three million in Nigeria is certainly alot of money.

 

Now right here in the family,we have a niece who studied in Canada but preferred to return to Nigeria to work instead of stay in Canada.

 

I feel so much worry for my Mom who Is already thinking she will loose a son because of disturbing stories we hear.

 

[BLEmom]

27 minutes ago, Ishaya said:

 

Sometimes it confuses me when i look at the amount of money people spend to travel to another country,it makes me to wonder if they really have financial problem.

My brother told me he was using three million naira to process his emigration to Canada.

I'm not sure how I'm seeing it but three million in Nigeria is certainly alot of money.

 

Now right here in the family,we have a niece who studied in Canada but preferred to return to Nigeria to work instead of stay in Canada.

 

I feel so much worry for my Mom who Is already thinking she will loose a son because of disturbing stories we hear.

 

It’s usually not just about the money. They are looking for a certain social standing, a new status in life. Money is only part of that.  So they sacrifice the money they have to gain access to what they think they can get. It’s like gambling. Some people are way more prone to gamble than others. 

[Girl81]

11 hours ago, carlos said:

It's sad because tens of thousands of Nigerians come to Europe every year looking for a better life, but they rarely find it. Most live miserable lives. Usually they work long hours in construction or cleaning, in badly paid and very demanding jobs that nobody wants. His expertize will not be valued or considered here, at least not in Spain. I can't speak for other continents, but moving to Europe is not a wise decision, even for a worldly person. If your brother is one of JWs, then it is even more unwise.

 

But as you say, you can only do so much. Warn people, give them some food for thought, and that's it. They have to make their own choices and suffer the consequences. That's the way Jehovah proceeds with us.

I had no idea that living conditions in Europe were bad. 

[Ishaya]

14 hours ago, Michelle81 said:

I had no idea that living conditions in Europe were bad. 

Why? I thought Europe too is under Satan's system.I have always believed that nowhere is spared of Satan's fury and bad governance.

 

The whole world lies under the power of the wicked one-1 John 5:19.

[carlos]

18 hours ago, Michelle81 said:

I had no idea that living conditions in Europe were bad. 

No, actually living conditions in most of Europe are not much worse than in the US.

 

But immigrants typically have a hard time everywhere and Europe is no exception. Especially if they come without papers and even worse if don't speak the language. Their qualifications are not taken into account and they typically do the jobs nobody wants. For example, immigrants in Spain often have to share an apartment with several other families because their miserable wages cannot pay a full rent. Many people even rent a couch by turns: one person sleeps there during the night and a different one during the day. I'm sure a lot of immigrants live in similar conditions in the US.

[BLEmom]

1 hour ago, carlos said:

No, actually living conditions in most of Europe are not much worse than in the US.

 

But immigrants typically have a hard time everywhere and Europe is no exception. Especially if they come without papers and even worse if don't speak the language. Their qualifications are not taken into account and they typically do the jobs nobody wants. For example, immigrants in Spain often have to share an apartment with several other families because their miserable wages cannot pay a full rent. Many people even rent a couch by turns: one person sleeps there during the night and a different one during the day. I'm sure a lot of immigrants live in similar conditions in the US.

Over here it seems a lot is hidden. Or maybe it’s concentrated in certain areas such as bigger cities.
However if you work in a foreign language field, you see much more of these types of living conditions. 
We worked the Spanish field right before the explosion of congregations happened in our area. The standard of living was definitely a lot lower then, especially for the migrant workers. Now many have scaled up in life. Once they are in an area for a while, you see the standard of living improve. Many times once a community is formed, the families find ways to help each other. 

[Girl81]

11 hours ago, Ishaya said:

Why? I thought Europe too is under Satan's system.I have always believed that nowhere is spared of Satan's fury and bad governance.

 

The whole world lies under the power of the wicked one-1 John 5:19.

What I meant was, I know many immigrants in the US who are very well off financially and/or highly respected in their career field.  

[Girl81]

7 hours ago, carlos said:

No, actually living conditions in most of Europe are not much worse than in the US.

 

But immigrants typically have a hard time everywhere and Europe is no exception. Especially if they come without papers and even worse if don't speak the language. Their qualifications are not taken into account and they typically do the jobs nobody wants. For example, immigrants in Spain often have to share an apartment with several other families because their miserable wages cannot pay a full rent. Many people even rent a couch by turns: one person sleeps there during the night and a different one during the day. I'm sure a lot of immigrants live in similar conditions in the US.

I see what your saying.  I guess you never really know what happens behind closed doors. 

[Ishaya]

9 hours ago, carlos said:

For example, immigrants in Spain often have to share an apartment with several other families because their miserable wages cannot pay a full rent. Many people even rent a couch by turns: one person sleeps there during the night and a different one during the day. I'm sure a lot of immigrants live in similar conditions in the US.

 

You know,I told my brother he should be thankful he lives like a prince here in Nigeria and can get all the luxury he desires, but if you  go abroad you will live like a slave just like the prodigal son lived after he squandered his money in a foreign land.

 

In fact my sister  have several exposed videos of the miserable condition of immigrants abroad which she showed him, but he won't listen.

I have simply stopped advicing him,I just want to see my warnings come true now.

[Ishaya]

On 2/25/2022 at 10:07 PM, BLEmom said:

It’s usually not just about the money. They are looking for a certain social standing, a new status in life. Money is only part of that.  So they sacrifice the money they have to gain access to what they think they can get. It’s like gambling. Some people are way more prone to gamble than others. 

 

About social status:

 

before people here used to admire someone who travels out,but nowadays so much truth is coming out about how miserable they live abroad.

like Bro Carlos mentioned,we are getting to know they do all kinds of undesirable jobs they won't do even in their own country.

because of this no one admires those who travel out again,and relative vehemently discourage family members who want to go abroad.

 

But travel agents often deceive unwary youths into thinking that if they work abroad the currency is stronger,but I have always reasoned that when you earn little in dollars and spend very high in dollars,it cannot make you any richer, that's common sense!

 

Iiving standard abroad is unbearably high especially because of rents,numerous bills and taxation.in fact one of my lecturer who studied in England said its easier to survive and become wealthy in Nigeria than over there.

[Amygdala]

1 hour ago, Ishaya said:

You know,I told my brother he should be thankful he lives like a prince here in Nigeria and can get all the luxury he desires, but if you  go abroad you will live like a slave just like the prodigal son lived after he squandered his money in a foreign land.

 

In fact my sister  have several exposed videos of the miserable condition of immigrants abroad which she showed him, but he won't listen.

I have simply stopped advicing him,I just want to see my warnings come true now.

I‘ve studied with women from different African countries who left very stable or high paying jobs to become refugees in Germany. Only for them to become single moms (ticket to staying here) and living off the system, or feeling cultural shock, not able to speak the language, and some being sent back after their children were born here after knowing the language better than their mother tongue.

 

In Canada the cost of living is outrageous. Cost of living such as rent or groceries will take up most of a person‘s paycheck, with basic jobs leaving very little leftover. Maybe have them look up a grocery store in Canada online such as loblaws.ca or the real Canadian Superstore, or no frills.ca and have them see for themselves the cost of something basic such as food. Then look up craigslist.ca to explore apartments for rent. Then afterwards search for income levels a particular job pays in Canada and he will get a more realistic view of what life is really about in Canada. 
 

But no, you can’t do much if he is determined to have a go at it, and some maybe with ingenuity or talent can even make a success at such a move, but it’s not the majority. The world, though, of course have different goals in life, so working 50-60 hours a week may not phase him.