A good joke

[ChrisW]

2 hours ago, Lee49 said:

[daydream]

On 6/22/2024 at 3:47 AM, Andrey said:

Side splitting funny! Br. Andrey, the song just added to the hilarity. 

[daydream]

On 6/10/2024 at 4:31 AM, Andrey said:

Cristiano? Lionel? Robert? Antoine?

Cristiano Ronaldo, Lionel Messi, Robert ? ( Lewandowski - Captain of Polish national squad), Antoine (Griezmann - striker for La Liga club Barcelona and captains the Poland national team)

Wow, you sure admire footballers who plays in the Spanish La Liga.

[Pabo]

On 6/23/2024 at 10:24 AM, Dolce vita said:

It reminds me of a story from the days of construction sites, long before the LDC. A brother asks a sister who is not very handy to go get a wheelbarrow from the materials department, which was a little out of the way from where she worked. She travels the distance, it took a while, arrives and asks the equipment manager for a wheelbarrow for so-and-so.

The brother then asks her:

- is he left-handed or right-handed?
- Who ?
- well the brother who needs the wheelbarrow.
- Euh, I do not know.
- Then you have to go back and ask him, I'm sorry sister.

 

The sister, taken aback, asks him:

- But why ? Are there wheelbarrows for left-handed and right-handed people? 
- What do you mean, you're on a construction site and you don't know that yet?

The sister, confused:

- Is there anyone who does both please, the site is at the other end of the construction site?

 

The brother didn't even feel sorry for me. I had to go back across the construction site to ask the brother the question.

 

The story went around all the teams  and throughout the construction period, every time I passed someone, there was a fit of laughter. We laughed so much, so much, it was really good-natured. I can't wait for the New World to see these dear brothers again, many have since fallen asleep.

 

PS: I hope no one on this forum will tell me : 'ahhh so it was you?'

 

There are many stories of sending the apprentices to the tooling department for left handed screwdrivers, a packet of grinding sparks, long weights, squeegee sharpener, metric knock-o-meter, board stretcher, bucket of compressed air, adhesive lubricant, and there is a ever long list of tool names that cannot be repeated here.

 

One of my favorites is a K-mart Socket (cheap quality sockets) - where any size fits all when you bash it over the nut or bolt head.

Edited June 24 by Pabo

[Andrey]

When they wanted to leave work early but were confronted by a supervisor.

[Andrey]

Husband: - Honey help!

Wife: -Yes, of course!

 

Edited June 24 by Andrey

[Andrey]

Your mood when you were called to the barbicue.

 

[Andrey]

[Tortuga]

17 hours ago, Pabo said:

 

There are many stories of sending the apprentices to the tooling department for left handed screwdrivers, a packet of grinding sparks, long weights, squeegee sharpener, metric knock-o-meter, board stretcher, bucket of compressed air, adhesive lubricant, and there is a ever long list of tool names that cannot be repeated here.

 

One of my favorites is a K-mart Socket (cheap quality sockets) - where any size fits all when you bash it over the nut or bolt head.

We would send the new person out for a steam sample and make them do it again when they would bring the sample container back full of water. 

[Andrey]

[Andrey]

[Andrey]

[Keep Fighting]

[Sun]

[Keep Fighting]

So you've bought yourself a pedometer now?

 

No, no, I have to start much more slowly - I've bought a motion detector.

[Keep Fighting]

[daydream]

Oh dear, it does look like a person sitting on a toilet. Poor car won't start because it is so cold. 

[Keep Fighting]

Two toothpicks had been in a pub and were quite on sail. Then a hedgehog walks by, then one toothpick says to the other, I didn't know there was a night bus.

[Kwabena]

"There's nothing more contradictory than a communist with a fade." 😁

[Pabo]

On 7/2/2024 at 3:06 AM, daydream said:

Oh dear, it does look like a person sitting on a toilet. Poor car won't start because it is so cold. 

 

We have a saying here in Australia, which no doubt would be in other parts of the world (maybe some other words can be used instead), but you can interpret that image as stating:

 

"The car has crapped itself".

Edited July 9 by Pabo

[Pabo]

[Andrey]

She: How do I recognize you?

He: I'll be in a black BMW.

 

[Andrey]

[Andrey]

[Andrey]

When I'm sleeping peacefully, the cats are up all night at this time.....